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Reviews for Prologue

By : Herpb4uDerp
  • From TristaML on November 13, 2019

    Ughhh! I have so many questions! Or thoughts.  I feel like Goten's gonna want revenge or something! Or maybe.... maybe he's just... doing his own thing.  Was there a connection to the scrap metals from space and the metals of his arm? Hmm, I'm sure I'm reaching on that one.

    Maybe his hormones have calmed down.  And maybe he'll find a humanoid creature,  like a "Zarbon" who can be what he needs.  Maybe he's moved on? Or maybe he's training until he can finally come back.... but he never will, will he? I guess that's what you said, isn't it?  No, he never will.  How sad for him. But... necessary. 

    I'm glad Vegeta spared him, and I find it interesting that he and Goku never mention to each other that they can sense him.  I'm assuming Goku didn't want to bring it up, and Vegeta surely wouldn't,  and was waiting for his moment,  and when his moment came... he made the right choice. After all,  Vegetas been through worse.  At least, I assume he has. Why let the upset create more upset?

    Man. I must say I have enjoyed this story and I do hope you write more. As a whole it truly was an awesome read.  Unique. I'll have to rummage through your AO3 now...

    TristaML


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  • From TristaML on October 27, 2019

    Yay for the longevity! The torture, the torment, my goodness.  I have a feeling about this last chapter though.  You must have some sort of grand finale in mind.  Hmmm. 

    I was expecting something more sinister from Bra, like she was going to try to make him become... idk straight? A bound lover against his will? It is an interesting thing though,  what she's doing.  She's a mad scientist. Purely. Its funny because I do see both Vegeta and Bulma in Trunks and Bra. It's cute. I would say that I can't wait for this story to end,  but that doesn't sound right.  Oh well,  you know what I mean. 

    Where is the update?! 

    Trista ML


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  • From TristaML on October 10, 2019

    Yess, I love that Vegeta just admitted it! Ugh, my only complaint is that the chapters are too damn short!

    And I can't wait to see how you're gonna pull this whole thing together in just a few more chapters. Damn just a few more chapters and then I'm gonna have to log in to Ao3 and check out what else in on there... 

    TristaML 


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  • From TristaML on October 05, 2019

    So happy to have Vegeta and Goku on the same page for once! And they were so honest, instead of trying to save face anymore, it's refreshing.  I was actually expecting a little bit more of a fight between them, but not disappointed that they finally just said fuck it and forewent the melodramatics. The scenes of Goku in Gotens head was only mildly and momentarily confusing but still well done IMO and I'm so happy Goku did that,  otherwise he would have never understood. Ever.

    The last scene though,  with Goten trying practically to kill them, ugh, it hurt to see him behave so pathetically, I don't know why I expect more from him,  i guess because Vegeta is capable of more,  idk. And Bra, that was epic,  and creepy,  she's a genius.  She played Goku like a pawn, it was unexpected,  but I'm still left curiouser than ever! 

    I think the scene of Bulma, too, was necessary, sad, especially because Vegetas been holding that in for what... sixteen years now? Damn. What's gonna happen next I wonder...

    TristaML


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  • From TristaML on September 07, 2019

    Interesting turn of events here! I was not expecting that! Goku had a great idea of going into the time chamber but I was afraid for it in case Goten did confront Vegeta with no Goku around to buffer them. Ahhghh, I need continuity! I need a resolution! But I loved how Bra spelled out to him that Goten is clearly using him,  and even more so that Goku fucking knows that he's been untruthful! That was as comforting as it was upsetting. She's absolutely right though,  since when does Goku let anyone push him around? I guess it would be different if only Goku wasn't dealing with a family member doing this to him,  and what-with Vegeta's concise way of declaring it all to end,  or perhaps if he had truly been away for fifteen years, but the circumstances are genuinely unfair,  to everyone involved. This is such a unique story, truly. Im still in love. I haven't read anything so riveting in such a long time. 

    TristaML


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  • From TristaML on August 27, 2019

    When I think about this story, and how different Goten is vs how Gohan, it's almost hard to really grasp it because you just expect everyone in the Son family to be good hearted, simple, and kind. But the more I think about the real tragedy of a father not coming home for so long and a "perfect" older brother, not fitting in with their world, a wayward bestfriend who is missing his mother, a not so respectable replacement mentor, not to mention a disowning mother, the more Goten makes sense,  but also makes me sad. The best part of this last chapter was when Goten saw Gohan completely accepting of their father,  and I just feel like maybe things are starting to click for him. But he is so angry,  and so childish. What is he going to do when other things don't go his way? As always, looking forward to the next chapters! This needs a resolution!

    TristaML


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  • From TristaML on August 04, 2019

    I! STAN! THIS!

    I'm usually not so trendy,  but that perfectly describes my feelings. If you don't know what that means, look it up, it's a compliment. 

    Let me back up here...  I saw when you had posted just the A/N and the response and laughed because I thought at first that maybe it was a mistake. So, I checked back a day later and it still hadn't been fixed,  then I realized,  oh no, you really weren't going to update. Which is cool,  but, of course, sad, and so you can imagine my surprise at TWO chapters coming out.

    Now, I don't think I can articulate exactly how happy I was to read this, even though I'm holding my heart right now, so I'm not even gonna try but, Fuck. So fucking well done.  So well thought out, and so well written. And so damn GOOD! I can't wait for more. 

    I hate that this site is so dead, this story deserves more love.  Back in the day we could rate stories,  1 to 5 stars, 5 being the best,  I would so be hitting up that 5 star so hard right now. 

    Ok I'm done. 

    Trista ML


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  • From TristaML on July 14, 2019

    I read this last chapter twice, for several reasons. Bra was driving me crazy and I wanted to reread to understand what she was thinking exactly.

    She's fucking nuts. At first I thought she didn't know what senzu beans were,  which would have been strange, then I thought, damn, she is so cold towards the severity of her father's condition, and afterwards I finally got she was trying to "protect" him. It was hard to read. Not the clarity of it, but the cringy emotion from it, and how wrong I felt that she was,  but I get it, kind of, she's got personality and balls that's for sure. But she's also got some serious control issues,  then again,  she didn't exactly luck out in the gene pool from Bulma and Vegeta on personality traits. (Or did she? :) )

    Another reason I had to keep reading was because I felt like Goku was a little OOC, but you explained it well when he burst into tears. Personally I love a crying Goku, he never cries in the show and most authors never depict him with much real emotion,  so it's nice to see something *more* from him. I guess his instability and fear of anyone else finding out what even he can't explain is what kept him from man-handling her, that,  and her weird way of asking for it, which he subtly caught onto,  is what kept him from ultimately by-passing her and giving Vegeta the damn bean! Just to tell her in the end, anyways. Ugh, again,  it was hard to read.  You explained that,  too, though, if it had been anyone else,  Goku would have gone "battle-mode"... and I kept waiting for it! Either way,  it was all very interesting.

    And then of course, there's whatever the fuck Bra thinks she is gonna do about Goten, and whatever the fuck Goten thinks he's gonna do about Vegeta! Hmmm. I'll probably reread these last few chapters a few times while I wait for the update... 

    It's ok, I'll wait. 

    TristaML


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  • From TristaML on July 02, 2019

    I was so looking forward to the update on this but you didn't post a new chapter. Ugh.

    These last two chapters,  while interesting,  just aren't scratching the itch... I want to know what happens, between everyone. I knew you had plans for Bra but I still don't understand your use for her, I guess because she's normally a very underused character... IDK, but she's definitely grown on me. And I never considered before that Trunks actually had a drinking problem,  I guess I just kind of thought of him and Goten as young men that run around chasing after everything they want, doing whatever they want,  feeling invincible, that sort if thing,  I mean,  men do that, grown men even, but these last two chapters have painted things in a little bit of a different light.  Still. Waiting.  For the update... and some action!

    TristaML


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  • From TristaML on June 03, 2019

    I so was looking forward to an udate on this story and I'm glad you were able to get around to it. I feel like we're definitely getting somewhere even if this chapter seems to be a bit of a "filler". I enjoyed it nonetheless. The text messages, that hurts. And I can't believe I'm about to say this, because Goten is every bit the dick Vegeta is, and his scheming is detestable, but I agree with him on one point- why wouldn't Goku just show up to see Vegeta?! It's not like he would really turn him away!

    Still very curious with what end you have in mind for this whole thing, but I also kind of don't want to know in a weird way, it's not love/hate necessarily, it's more like watching a thriller and covering your eyes but you still peak through your fingers because you just fucking have to know what's gonna happen...

    I do hope you update again this Saturday!

    TristaML

     


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  • From TristaML on May 16, 2019

    I can't help but constantly ask myself, "What the hell is Goten thinking?!"

    That is all I really have to say.

    TristaML


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  • From TristaML on May 06, 2019

    As annoyed as I am to not get any progress on the storyline itself with these last two chapters, I am still grateful for the insight they gave. Necessary plot information to be sure. So many little details were in there that correlate so well with everything else I was surprised, even though I suppose I shouldn't have been. Everything from Vegeta silently telling Goku he was sorry for teaching Goten to cuss to much, in retrospect to another scene from an earlier chapter, and then from Chi Chi freaking out about Goten's sexual preferences, which explains why he hasn't been home in so long, to Goten's dislike of Gohan's perpetual "perfection," it all just makes so much more sense. I was honestly wondering when the depth for Goten's character was going to come in, I think I mentioned that before, and I'm happy to have gotten some answers!

    That being said I'm desperately in need of some storyline developement now, lol, and I wonder at what you have in store. I like that I can't predict what's coming next, although I have some ideas. Each new chapter always leaves me a little bit surprised. Still, I know it's only a matter of time before the weight of their relationship troubles start to crack down on them. Patiently waiting as usual...

    TristaML


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  • From TristaML on April 12, 2019

    I'm so curious... to know what Goten wants. I mean,  what does he really want, from Goku and from Vegeta. For himself. It seems to me that he is just so messed up that he hasn't thought things through...

    Vegeta should have told Goku! But I enjoyed this chapter nonetheless. 

    I found you on AO3, I forget about that sight,  honestly,  and I really wanted to go ahead and read the whole story-  And you have so many reviews there!- I wanted to read those,  too, but since you're revamping the story, it wouldn't do any justice to ruin whatever changes you deemed necessary by forgoing the new updates here so I restrained,  but it took effort lol. My curiosity is piqued. 

    Ugh.

    TristaML


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  • From ANON - Anon on April 06, 2019

    hey can I be in the story


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  • From TristaML on March 27, 2019

    Totally not surprised by Vegetas response but wow does Goku have some work to do.

    I love how well thought out your storyline is, and how "dbz-like" it is. The innocence of Goku, along with his completely unintentional actions,  are an interesting parallel with the actual impacts of his choices and it makes everything that much more tricky and delicate when it comes to his relationships.

    I also really appreciated Gotens silent admittance of how childish and insecure he truly is. What a huge character development.  Not to mention the correlation between his characteristics and Vegetas, which makes sense,  but I never thought of it that way before.  Very, very well done.  I am looking forward to the next installments!

    TristaML


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