Adult-FanFiction.org : Gundam, Beyblade, DBZ, FMA

Reviews for Even More Of Us

By : CardDragonBall

From ANON - jaygoose on March 14, 2004
That was sad. I can't believe that fucking dragon would do that. I don't understand...was he the one that granted Goku's first wis the the first place? Fucker...No more kids...that is so depressing...and what if Gogeta did die anyway? I need to lie down.

Oh and about the crown...Grocery store people are notoriously jealous...Always looking in other people's baskets trying to out do them...Don't let them get to you.
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From ANON - Mechancial Butterfly on March 14, 2004
wow! intense! very good chapter! Loved how Goku got angry over his child like that, well I guess anyone would, but it was just awesome. poor little Bardock and I love the fight scenes so fun to read! sorry for such short reviews but I feel so blah -_- but I truly enjoyed this chapter as I enjoy all of your chapters!
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From ANON - Getarian on March 14, 2004
Okay, a little more insight into why Gogeta has retreated in on himself. Looks as if Gogeta's Saiyan side is deeply repressed...I hope that he won't die from the trauma he is currently undergoing in his little mind. Although, I fear how he will be with his father, should he pull through...

"...Because the big baka had devoted his life to guarding a planet full of people that didn�t understand him. And Vegeta was now devoted to said baka...
...So Vegeta moved forward with him."

I loved this! Standing at his mate's side regardless :-)

�And look,� the boy again, �The one monkey is missing his tail.�

Ah, poor Vegeta...he needs to ges tas tail back! At least now he has extra motivation for beating the shit out of the androids :-)

Ah Gods, I love how little Bardock leapt to the defence of his father. I know he'll be okay but it's still a tense time.

"Clenched his fists tight, tipped his head back and ROARED! Fuck purring." LOL! Sorry couldn't help it.

"Fuck these androids."

Yes! Kill them Goku! I guess Goku now has a tiny taste of what Vegeta felt when he lost his mate...I know he probably wouldn't go to the same lengths, but he might understand Vegeta's rage more.

God I love how Vegeta and Goku are with their kids :-)

Vegeta is raging again, but I'm glad that it seems to be more focused this time.

�This is your last chance to surrender,� Goku said.
�Fuck surrender,� Vegeta snarled. And he shot forward.

Yes! Go get 'em Vegeta!

Bulla's a right little Vegeta isn't she :-)

I loved Piccolo's thoughts on the raging Saiyans, and very much liked this part:

"Piccolo watched it. Didn�t join them. Tried very hard not to be afraid."

This very much highlighted the power and savagery of the fight and made me realise, that with Vegeta and Goku now mated, Goku wouldn't be so quick to fight against Vegeta should Vegeta go back to his old ways...and this got me wondering...what if Vegeta had gone bad the first time, not because Goku had died, but because Bardock had? What if his fury had turned on the n ran race after he killed the androids? What if the only way to stop him was to kill him? Would have Goku been able to do it? How would this have affected Goku if he had? What if he found that he couldn't do it?

Again, not necessarily questions that I need answers to...I guess I'm a "what if" kind of person :-)

Looking forward to more android ass kicking :-)

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From ANON - Aarika on March 13, 2004
hey keep up the great work..this story is getting extremely good! i cant wait for the next chapter :)
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From ANON - tatoosh on March 13, 2004
Oi, you best not have Gogeta die of grief. The brood needs to stay intact. So saiyan Bardock and Bulla never going to leave the fight. I hope Vegeta pulls the android apart joint by joint.
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From ANON - Luna on March 13, 2004
O.O; Poor Bardock.......*sniffs*I really likedockdock....Continue!
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From ANON - jaygoose on March 13, 2004
Blood. Guts. Destruction. Me. Like. Hmm.

I'm glad you wearing your crown. I was afraid that it was a little too flash to pull off of everyday.

Poor Gogeta. I am so sad. Is there anyway to save him?
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From ANON - Getarian on March 13, 2004
The opening scenes were wonderful. After everything that Trunks had been through, his sense of apprehension as he returned to his time and the immediate tackle as he exited his craft, were climaxed beautifully with a soft kiss and a laugh. Pure relief was felt by this reader :-)

I love how Trunks' memories of his, now fast becoming, alternate life, are fading and soon to be completely forgotten:

"Felt memories mel awa away. Didn�t miss them as they left."

Beautifully expressed!

A very loving moment between Trunks and Goten, but ya gotta love Takashi:

�WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED BEING NAKED. MOM AND DAD WANT YOU BACK HOME!�

LOL! A perfect injection of humour :-)
�DAD�DAD SAID THAT IF HE HAS TO DRAG YOUR NAKED ASSES BACK HOME HE WILL!� Takashi yelled."

LOL! Definitely can hear Vegeta saying this :-)

Okay, now I'm deeply worried...What's up with Gogeta?

"Because Trunks was supposed to have saved Goku. Because Vegeta knew that Trunks had come back in time to save him. And Vegeta knew that he had failed."

Oh well done! I actually had no idea as to why Vegeta had turned on Trunks, I figured that maybe, Trunks tried to stop him and that was why, and then I thought maybe it was something as simple as the fact that Trunks wasn't Goku's boy and Vegeta was a total nutter at this stage...The actual reason just never occurred to me - I could kick myself. :-)

Still a little worried about Vegeta, still looks like everything is not completely 100% with him.

�Anyway. I think we should go back and make sure the android was really dead. I mean, we probably crushed him� But��

"Vegeta wasn�t really listening. He wanted to see his children."

Yeah, all does not seem well. I know Vegeta loves his kids, but to overlook a chance to go back to the android and make sure that it is dead, and all this due to a strong need ee hee his kids, tells me that Vegeta senses that something is not right. Intriguing and worrying. However; the following conversation seems to null this impression:

�He�ll be fine,� Kakarot repeated,
�I know,� Vegeta replied.

I like how you write, you constantly have me thinking about scenes and wondering, and interpreting and re-interpreting and sometimes getting it all completely wrong :-)

And the terror begins...enter the terrible two. Well written teaser to the next chapter, the imagery was disturbinglyd.
d.

Looking forward to the next chapter :-)

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From ANON - Mechanical Butterfly on March 13, 2004
*sobs* What's happening to Gogeta???
I'm afraid for what is going to happen...so afraid, but can't wait to read it. I am thouroughly addicted to this fic. I'm would say that I am happy thveryverything seems ok in Trunks timeline...but there was no Gogeta and I am unsure that everything is happy...I hope it is.
this is excellent...very very excellent...

Yeah! I love Trunks toooooo! (I seem to enjoy making him miserable though, don�t I?) I know what you mean...I often make Vegeta miserable or crazy in my fics...I can't help it.

^.*
-MB-

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From ANON - Ravenx on March 12, 2004
I absolutely love this story. I can't wait to geton the computer everyday to read the updates. I've always liked the Vegeta and Goku pairing but you write it much better than the other stories I've read from other people. Okay, that's enough praising you, don't want you to get too big of a head now do we. :)
Ja ne
Ravenx
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From ANON - jaygoose on March 12, 2004
Great chapter as usually. I on the otherhand still have writer's block. It sucks so much ass.

Anyway, I am a tad worried about little Gogeta. I guess that was the point though wasn't it. I am glad that Trunks is back to an acceptable future (that putting it mildly).

Oh and You are now crowned Ruler of Spinoffs. I can't wait to read your new one. :)
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From ANON - Luna on March 12, 2004
GOGETA????WHAT HAPPENS TO GOGETA?????/O.O;Sorry sorry.....Nice chapter last time.Not bad this time either./continue
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From ANON - Aarika on March 12, 2004
oh great more androids:) the point you had before (about the super saiyans only every so often) was very intresting, i didnt know that..very cool. anyway please please please dont let gogeta die! or any of the little ones die..their too cute. but anyway i'm rambling so i hope you get more chapters up soon or i'm gonna have to ramble some more! :)
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From ANON - Mechanical Butterfly on March 11, 2004
YEAH!!!! Goku is alive and kicking!!!!!
That was some great reading!!!!

Hummed, Another One Bites the Dust, spared a moment of irony that he had learned CPR to the rhythm of that song.- rofl, yeah that is some pretty sick irony, hilarious, but sic
Th
They fought too. All four of them against one Vegeta, and the Prince would win.- How sexy!!!! Damn it why couldn't Vegeta win!!!??? *thinks* Oh yeah then Goku would still be dead, and the world in ruins...*sighs* he's was just so damn sexy being heartless like that...

Felt the stupid things that fought him keep kicking. But they were inconsequential.- rofl!!!!!

Vegeta looked at this Kakarot, felt his heart as if it was just now beating again.- I loved that looked at THIS Kakarott...beautiful...

� �Geta,� was that whine. The perfect, addictive, beautiful whine, and bef before Vegeta blacked out, he felt a joy so great he thought his heart would burst from it.- just wonderfully described.

He�d seen what his children had done, what Vegeta had done, and how Trunks had fought to stay alive to save them all. -GO TRUNKS I FREAKING LOVE YOU!!!! No really, that is so awesome of him...staying alive in such a horrible world where he was badly beaten all so he could go to the past and save it...I really admire that and I love him!
This fic is superb!!!!!
Thanks for updating so often!
^.*
-MB-

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From ANON - Ladylupin on March 11, 2004
Tfic fic is shaping out to be as good as the first.
Be funny if they did get another 4 kids, though.
Wonderful chapter! Your place in heaven will always be assured!
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