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Reviews for Even More Of Us

By : CardDragonBall
  • From ANON - Getarian on March 11, 2004
    Woah! Extremely tense beginning.

    Desperation and fear. Feelings in both these areas can be expounded upon in whopping great paragraphs highlighting varied actions, thoughts and expressions.

    Trunks' desperation and fear was palpable, and this was expressively made clear in a simple four word sentence:

    “LIVE YOU STUPID FUCK!” Trunks screamed.

    I had my heart in my mouth the whole time and actually sat back with a sigh of relief when Trunks felt a tiny heartbeat. Well written :-)

    Call me a sentimental fool, but those moments when Vegeta sensed his mate and moved towards him and Goku moved towards Vegeta, purring, calming, consoling, and when they came together...I damn near cried.

    The childrens reaction was wonderfully emotional, particularly young Gogeta, who never said a word, just stood there shaking.

    I have such mixed feelings about the next part. Trunks hates his father, hates his surviving siblings...and boy, I really don't blame him. But it's hard to read, nonetheless.ey hey have such a close relationship in the show, that this tears me up a bit...but as with all good stories, I guess I have to take the rough with the smooth. It was an evocative scene. Expressed well.

    "“Bulma said we couldn’t come home until we finished fucking,” Kakarot told him, sleepily."

    LOL! Thank-you! A definite pick me up :-)

    And a wonderful lemon to finish up on. I always love your lemonso nao natural and erotic.

    As nervous as I am about my Prince, I eagerly await the next chapter :-)

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  • From ANON - jaygoose on March 11, 2004
    Alright, I can stop holding my breath. Goku is alive and everything is right with the world. I think. I am the suspicious type and for some reason something just doesn't feel right. Bucoulcould be over reacting...right? Right!
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  • From ANON - Luna on March 11, 2004
    *sighs thankfully*Good because sex is what makes the universe go around.
    Continue!
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  • From ANON - Getarian on March 11, 2004
    Late with the reviews...I've been sick and nowhere near my computer for over a day.
    Now clutching it tight and snarling at family. MINE! :-)

    The opening paragraphs documented Goku's thoughts extremely well, I knew it was coming, I prepared for it, but still it was emotional. Vegeta's reaction to his mate's death was as I would expect it to be, and not only because of the glimpses of mirai Trunks' future, but because it was so Vegeta.

    "Vegeta moved closer, put one foot on his chest, over his heart, leaned down, grinned at the man. Felt his soul slipping away. Kakarot hadn hin his soul."

    The grin was very chilling, although, the olicolic nature of his retribution was pure poetry.

    "Not caring at all, because asn’asn’t breaking. It wasn’t bleeding. It wasn’t gasping for its last breath like his mate had.
    It wasn’t enough. More needed to die. Much more."

    Well, now we get a glimpse of why Vegeta is the heartless monster of mirai Trunks' time. His sense of reality seems to have been distorted by his grief, although I imagine it is more than just this, for him to turn on the demi-Saiyans as well as Bulma, tells me that there is worse to come.

    Oh Gods! What happened to Bardock? He is a complete monster. And I'm not sure that I even want to know what mirai Vegeta had done to mirai Bulwas was she too traumatised to speak or was she no longer able too?

    This is a very compelling story. I'm looking forward to further installments.

    *Blushes deeply* Thank-you for your wonderful feedback to my review. It put a big grin on my face as well :-)

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  • From ANON - tatoosh on March 10, 2004
    I love this story and the others you are writing in this series. I wake up everyday and the first thing I do is check here for your updates.

    Please let Trunks save Goku. I really like how you are writing the characters, how Vegeta has become so attached to his mate that his grief lead him to kill without end because all the death in the world wont fill the void, but please let Trunks save them. Please don't let the story end in death and despair.
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  • From ANON - jaygoose on March 10, 2004
    Yesssss....The appropriate amount of angst. And Trunks's dream. My God girl! What are you trying to do to me? *fans herself and looks aroung the library sheepishly.*
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  • From ANON - pixydust on March 10, 2004
    MORE!!! MORE!!!! please? you can't just leave the story there with goku....dead , the kiddies crying, vegeta going insane, and trunks coming back to try to save goku......please MORE??????
    please?
    i wonder if goku will be weak after the coming back to life through a needle in his chest (like he was weak in the anime when he was recovering from the heart virus) and if his kids and vegeta will let him outa their sights at all after this.
    poor trunks though. thinking everything was fix in the past only to get all that stuff happen........
    that's why you need to post more!
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  • From ANON - Mechanical Butterfly on March 10, 2004
    "!!!!!" GOKU!!!!!! NO!!!!! That chap was so sad and well Vegeta is very scary now...and slightly sexy in his kill mode. To think the loss of his mate caused it all...
    Hurry w/ that vaccine Trunks!!!!!!!! oh and poor Trunks...Bardock is such a meanie...*sobs* gosh please let things getter better soon...*crosses fingers*
    You are awesome! this chapter was very awesome. I really, really, loved watching Vegeta after Goku died...he went a littly loopy and I love how everyone's power spiked but it was nothing to what Vegeta's was...
    ^.*
    -MB-
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  • From ANON - Ladylupin on March 10, 2004
    Swimming in DBZ manga? Wouldn't you get paper cuts?
    Good, good chapter, though a little depressing, so make it happier next time!
    Oh, and I think someone already tried to take the flu to hell. Saten spat it back out, saying it was already bad enough down there.
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  • From ANON - Crazyj¨ u on March 10, 2004
    This is intense, he is really going to die isn't he? I don't want him to, but I can't stop it either all I can do is wait and read.
    Great chap.
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  • From ANON - Luna on March 10, 2004
    TODAY????HE DIES TODAY?????*weeps uncontrollably*but....I like Vegeta/Goku sex scenes and without Goku sex scenes cannot happen and....*sniffs*Continue....
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  • From ANON - fifi on March 10, 2004
    please hurry with the next chapter i can't wait to see what happens pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaassssssseeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry it's just really hard to find good stories nowadays well bye
    fifi
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  • From ANON - Aarika on March 09, 2004
    oh boy oh boy oh boy! i hate cliffhangers:) cant wait to see what happens next..kinda cool though that bardock was the first to turn s.s. .
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  • From on March 09, 2004
    *sobs* please no...please...tell me Goku is not going to die. and Trunks, poor Trunks what happened to him?
    This is freaking excellent, I love it and I can't wait for it all to unravel, even if it is sad and will make me cry...
    I love the brood they are just too cute for words...
    but even their cuteness can stop me from getting sad *sobs again* GOKU!!!!! I don't want anything to happen to him.
    I can hardly wait for the next chap.
    ^.*
    -MB-
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  • From ANON - Ladylupin on March 09, 2004
    I'M BACK! CURSE FLU BUGS TO THE DEPTS OF HELL!!!
    Wonderful story!!! I like!!! And a sequal!!(Swoon).
    Hurry up and update!!!!!

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