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Reviews for Much Like Suffocating

By : CardDragonBall

From ANON - setharo07 on April 21, 2004
Don't know what to say, except that I'm glad that Vegeta's starting to remember more about what he used to be. Poor Goku, at least he's getting a little better at being with Freiza-yeah right- but the most important thing is that he's also helping Vegeta remember his past, and is showing him a small bit of his own past.
Like the title as well, did you get it from a song? *Thinking of more to say* Ah! Dammit! My train's been derailed and I can't get it back on track. Till tomorrow!!
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From ANON - Getarian on April 21, 2004
This is a very haunting story. I have such conflicting emotions when I read it. It stays with me for a long while after I've finished the cer. er. Vegeta's brief flashes of memory, followed by him shrugging them off, his appraisal of Goku, and once again shrugging him off...he is like everyone else, a nameless, faceless thing, which sometimes enters his world, uses his body and then leaves him to once again enjoy his solitude with the amazingly wonderful sensations his finger produces at the back of his mouth. Bloody tragic. So very well written.

"But honestly, what could he�the one who was most often on display in the lobby, naked and oil-covered�say about a scarred wrist?"

See here, on some level, Vegeta knows that this world os iss is not right, not decent, but it's a distant notion, so he remains in acceptance of it. Deeply disturbing is the fact that he is on display,a loa lobby, completely exposed to any who wish to view him. Here's where the conflicting emotions come in. Part of me is aroused by the image of an oiled-up naked Vegeta, and the other part just wants to jump in front of him, arms outspread, telling everyone who's looking to bugger off.

I can't stand the idea that his tail had been removed, and Goku's as well. It's all so very heartbreaking.

Vegeta's thoughts after Goku had left him, really got to me, the fact that he was having an inner struggle with what he was living and his vague notions that there was something more to his existence, and oh Gods, he's only seventeen...

Goku's reaction once he got outside tore me up as well, I see now that he wore a disguise, and that Freiza had indeed been his captor from the past. The fthatthat he went back into this establishment, saw Vegeta, Must have seem himself as he watched him, had to go through with it for the Prince's sake. No wonder he felt like he was betraying him...not just because this was his Prince, but also because he was in that position once. It must haeen een torture for him. I almost can't stand , bu, but only because of how it affects me. You are a very captivating writer.

Goku's memories involving his father was very disturbing. It must have been amazingly difficult for Bardock to keep a level head at that point. It must have been tearing him apart. I imagine that was the reason for him closing his eyes and humming as he sat back in the chair...trying to keep control of his anger.

"...but there were moments�when freedom got to hard to bear�that he really wished he had never been saved."

Yeah, I can totally understand this sentiment. It's going to be a long time before he can truly feel free (if ever) and the Prince is going to have to go through this too...and with his pride as the Prince, he's got that extra hurdle to jump. Both Goku and Vegeta are so going to need each other, because no matter how many sympathetoiseoises anyone else may make, they are never going to understand what these two have been through...and you're nearly making me cry, with this. You do have a gift. This is an incredible story so far...and it's only on the second chapter.

"Remember my signature is the angst/humor combo."

Oh thank God! Need the humour. Your ability to evoke emotions wiour our writing is amazing, I'm not knocking that at all. But this is really making me incredibly sad, so yeah, looking forward to somuckluckles. Some quick relief from your end dialogue, enjoyed it very much :-)

Ah, so Goku is his real name. Okay, interesting. :-)

"Poor �Geta. It will be horrible for him if Goku manages to succeed in his plan. *pets the oblivious *naked* prince.*"

I know. *whimpers* Also wants to pet the naked Prince... See what I abo about conflicting emotions. :-) *sigh*

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From ANON - Mechanical Butterfly on April 21, 2004
Superb

Wow well yeah I am a little confused and I am definately interested and yeah I think you are slightly insane, but it's good to be a little crazy...

You have a way with words like no other...
I was instantly drawn to this story and am immediatly wondering why Goku keeps referring to freedom. He seems troubled by something, maybe by how he obtained his own freedom?

He seems to know why Vegeta is there and hopefully how to get him out...
At first this fic reminded me of Moulin Rouge..then the Matrix and now I just want to know what is going to happen.

I really hate Frieza...but am happy he isn't perverted enough to watch...
I am impressed with Goku's pov and how he has managed to fool Frieza thus far by giving off the right smells and whatnot.

I wonder why Vegeta is so fixated on that finger...
This is just so freaking wonderful...the way you write Goku blows me away. I fall in love with it. I LOVE the emotion that is poured into your work. I feel badly for him, it seems as though he has been through a lot and has had to make some tough decision in his life...

I just hope he can help the Prince and himself.

This is really amazingly written, beautiful.

---

Ch. 2

And it moved toward the door, stared at him like it was drowning, like it was the one that had been used.--wow that is deep...love how you describe situations...

faceless one--like that and I like how Vegeta is dealing with things. Not like it, but like how itwritwritten. How he remembers things and then denies them.

So we got to learn a little more about what is going on.
Goku went through alot and I am sure I don't know the half of it, but what I do know is very sad. He had to get that device cut out of his leg and ouch...I am assuming that is Vegeta is always sucking on his finger...

And Vegeta is keeping himself in denial...trying to push those thoughts from his brain.
That is so sad that Goku was kidnapped and had to endure all of that stuff.
But I do love the storyline...

I find it very interesting and highly addictive.

Also loved that Bardock is the one that saved Goku.
Loved your Vegeta pov also...just love everything.
Can't wait to read more...
and I don't have to since it is 5:00 a.m. and you will probably update in a few hours although I will be asleep but I will read when I awake b/c I must know what is going on.

^.*

-MB-
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From ANON - jaygoose on April 21, 2004
Once again, you got me hooked. The Krillin thing is disturbing me, but you can blame that on Pixelgoddess. I am in a noseless ex-monk bashing sort of mood. I am extremely interested in this fic though, and you plan on making me like Krillin for once don't you?
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From ANON - Prisma Kakkerra on April 21, 2004
Im loving it! Vegeta sucking on his fingers is sooo hot. *fans self* Poor Goku. He's all mentally scarred and stuff.. *sniffs* DAMN Frieza!! I hope he really gets whats comming to him!! *shakes fist at Frieza, but runs when he tries to catch him, tail swaying behind him* Please update soon I don't think I can stand more than a little anticipation!

Prisma Kakkerra, Princess of all Saiyans

^_^
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From ANON - setharo07 on April 20, 2004
Definitely liked the veiw Vegeta had in the first part of the chapter, thinking of Goku as just a faceless 'it', and how he subconsciously recognized the other. I'm liking this story more and more, along with all of your other stories.
I can tell that it's going to be hard to get the pleasure device off/out of Vegeta, especially when its in the back of his mouth. I wonder how long until Goku figures it out, and how he'll get it out of him. I would definitely puke as well if I'd gone through what Goku had to, but he has to bear it, and so shall I.
Don't think it's a dumb idea, and I'm anxiously waiting for tomorrow's chapter to see what happens. I kinda feel sad for Goku, but it will get better, I just know it. *Shudders at thought of being under Frieza's control, and the coming phrase (also name of strange band).* The darkness *deep shudder* of this fic is excellent, and I almost wish that there was more, so I can enjoy the angst, and then laugh later when the humor comes in. Humorous angst, gotta love it, 'specially from Card.
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From ANON - macha on April 20, 2004
Yep, I am happy that you decided to scribble. I think that this story has a lot of great potential. Waiting for you next update.
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From ANON - Getarian on April 20, 2004
"Confused?" "Interested?" "Think I�m insane?!"

A little. Deeply interested. Oh shit yeah! But that's a good thing ;-)

This first chapter has totally captivated me. Your description of the, obviously drugged, or controlled, Vegeta was pure poetry. Your description of this particular den of iniquity (into which the hapless Vegeta has fallen victim), as seen through the eyes of Goku was superbly written.

The surface atmosphere seemed to be one of almost reverence as Goku looked in on Vegeta's sultry performance, however; Goku's thoughts after Vegeta acknowledged his presence, quickly allowed us to see the seedier undertones of this nasty establishment.

Seems as if Goku himself had once been where Vegeta now is. He certainly seems to have a particular abhorrence foeizaeiza (*shudder* - easily understandable), yet, Freiza doesn't seem to recognise him at all. Not sure then, if I've misinterpreted Goku's thoughts, or if he has indeed suffered through a similar situation, but with someone else as his 'owner'.

Deeply interested in why Goku keeps thinking about 'Freedom' in such a manner. It seems like he has deep regrets as to how he has gained his freedom. Did he possibly lose someone important to him?

Gods, I loathe Freiza!

I like the almost metaphorical quality of the fact that Vegeta was sitting upon a pedestal as Goku watched him, feeling almost awed at the beauty displayed before him. Followed by the action of Vegeta climbing down from the pedestal in a totally disinterested manner.

Really loved the way you had Goku constantly checking himself to make sure he stayed 'in acteacter', so as to not give himself away to the watchful Freiza.

Curious as to who Goku's diminutive friend could be.

You really do have a way with words. Vegeta's whole demeanour in the private bedroom, is in one way, totally erotic (particularly the finger sucking), yet in another, so clinical, so divorced from the reality of his life...I didn't know whether to be aroused or heartbroken...Ultimately, I felt heartbroken, thanks to Goku's tender actions with the hairbrush, his tormented thoughts, and his frantic need to remain aroused, when clearly he was not...even though, Vegeta himself so obviously, is a total fascination for him. His sense of feeling as if he would be betraying Vegeta was paramount in his thoughts, and I read this scene with a strong sense of the tragedy of it all.

I am naturally wondering what particular world they are currently on. Goku also seems to know who Vegeta is, knows his importance, and has memories of his own father, so I'm assuming that he is in fact, Kakarot in this, and 'Goku' is either part of his disguise, or a name he was given (if he was indeed in a similar position to Vegeta at one time, which it certainly seems like.)

I hope he can break Vegeta from all of this, and they can both overcome whatever demons they both would have from their individual experiences. But, how horrible this is all going to be for the Prince of the Saiyans, once he realises what he was turned into, whilst he was under whatever influence Freiza has him under. Gods, having just thought of this, has me wondering about Goku's attitude to his newfound freedom...Is this possibly what he means? The price of Freedom, is the truth of what he had been? The idea is...terribly tragic. I'm glad that Vegeta has Goku, and hope that soon, Goku will have Vegeta. Something tells me that these two are going to need each other very much.

A well-written, deeply moving, first chapter, and I am definitely looking forward to the next.

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From ANON - Prisma Kakkerra on April 20, 2004
I am interested!! Imensly!! Next chapter!!! Need next chapter! Please!

in despiration

Prisma Kakkerra
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From ANON - Webtester01 on April 20, 2004
Looks interesting. I wiil read more when available.

You must have typing speed faster that 40 WPM.
Higher than mine atm.

I appreciate all the hard work and effort you put into
your stories.

Keep 'em comiing. :-)
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From ANON - jaygoose on April 19, 2004
Hmm...I'm not confused, but I am interested. I am worried about the amount of stories you're tacklin though. I am impressed.
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From ANON - macha on April 19, 2004
I am curious. Please contine with the story.
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From ANON - Ginia on April 19, 2004
grrr.... second try at posting this.
This fic is completely captivating. It looks like our prince has been kidnapped and is under mindcontrol of some kind - and I believe you are hinting that Kakarot had once been in the same situation? MORE! I can hardly wait for tomorrow's update.
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From ANON - setharo07 on April 19, 2004
MMmm. Me like, Me like. Excellent so far, can't wait for more, Card. You really have to love a sexy 'Geta. Kinda confused, but more than definitely interested. Can't wait for more!! :)
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