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Reviews for Much Like Suffocating

By : CardDragonBall

From ANON - Mechanical Butterfly on April 29, 2004
Who the fuck was projected thoughts into hers?--yes I would like to know this too...

(Pretty when he bled.)--p* wp* when who bleeds..Gohan? hehe hopefully...no I don't hate Gohan in this fic he isn't being ass...well he is being a dumb ass but not an ass...so I will leave him alone.

Even the spider was upset�by her standards, which meant she had accidentally spun a web. --She is so rad! Slightly sscary but very rad!

�Stop him from bleeding,� Chichi said--o.O yikes...yeah that would be a good idea. that is like dangling a well veined and slightly bloody neck in front of a vampire...unless the vampire was Lestat then its ok..because he is hot.

�Oh, Gods,� Bulma breathed out, �You�re talking about Trunks��--*gasp* Trunks is his brother? Cool...

Wow seems like things are heating up, literally. But Bardock is very interesting, and I can't wait to see what is up with him. Well he is more than interesting...he is a cruel cruel man Why everyone hated Trunks...but now that they see the truth. And wow Bardock has a lot of control...if more ppl hated Trunks than him...and Trunks was going to be thence nce that stepped up to take the thrown if Vegeta never came back...

Then cataonic Vegeta...and the whole mind message thing...I was slightly confused for a moment, but thats ok. It wasnt confused in a bad way. And I think this is such a very good story line. I am just loving this whole badguy Bardock. And he is very cool in this fic. I love his cocky yet cool personality. Like he has always got everything under control. I wonder if he is expected everyone on this ship not to live...but when and if they do...I wonder what he will do then. All I can say is that yeah Bardock definately knows what he is doing at least he thinks he does and had this planned for awhile. I just want to know why!?!?!? and man that is driving me crazy...that is why I love it so much.

Oh and another interesting point someone said the aching Vegeta has will go away in a week but it will not go away for ever...that is strange. So then Goku is still living with thate fee feeling I suppose...the same need as Vegeta's... anywho I look forward to your very awesome writing skills everyday...

This fic is like beyond amazing.

�American Beauty� --ssaw that movie and I remember that plastic bag seen it made me laugh...I liked that movie...never watched it again but I did like it a little... you didn't? aww...but yeah that guy with the camcorder was always creeping me out.

*grabs Squall from ff8 as he tries to run away after dropping a Phoenix down and hugs him until he passes out. *--*laughs then dies for no reason*
*gets up moments later only to see Sephiroth, Cloud, and Zell* Oh yeah 3 hot guys saved me...*turns to see Selphi smiling and holding and empty container of phoenix down* UGH!!! she saved me!!! *pukes* I never get any luck...
hehe I love FF7 and 8...and metal gear..not that metal gear had anything to do with anything.

But still� Chichi?!--oh yeah, on DBZ I hate her guts, but in this fic she is so beyond cool. I was telling my brothers and b/f about her. I talk about fanfics to them ALL the time...it's great. Although my b/f and my twin are sometimes like -_- but my brother Lucas doesn't mind hearing it.

*Bardock accepts his award, and when MB turns her back and attempts to stab her; only to have Trunks step in the way and stop him. Then he hands the knife to the boy and starts proclaiming that Trunks tried to kill MB. * Yeah, Bardock is a great actor.--ROFL!!! oh gosh...*glares at Trunks* How could he try and kill me!!!!??? And if it weren't for Bardock, here...I would be *gulps* dead... *sobs and leans on Bardocks shoulder*

^.*

-MB-

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From ANON - macha on April 28, 2004
Fine then *crosses arms and pouts* take all the questions I wanted to ask and see what kind of revi....

......Oh yeah, this is about reviewing, not a Q and A session. (sorry, I love the fact you respond to reviews.)

I liked Chi Chi's reaction to Gohan's blood. Uh, oh, this brings about a question...How long inbetween her feeding times? And, I think it KrilKrillin, when someone thought about the fact Chi Chi had actually spun a web, LOL.

I liked Bulma's retractable claws.

And Goku's ability to come out of his daze with just a blink. Also his noble gesture to try to block everyone's view of the Prince.

Krillin was about to think of Goku as Kakarott and stopped himself. Ah, yes, this has me confused and curious.
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From ANON - setharo07 on April 28, 2004
Hm, Trunks and Vegeta, brothers? Strange. What if there's a very powerful telekinetic person who was able to shut the door to the engine room, and bend the doors on the ship? Wouldn' t they have to kill that person as well if they were under Bardock? Unless that person really was Bardock? Can that person also have enough power to get inside their heads and take control, or is this a power that Vegeta doesn't know he has? Hope not, for he'd have to learn how to control it, somehow. Wow, Saiyan father and cold-spider mother, Trunks has got to have some weird powers, and strong hate as well for Bardock. I guess I would as weknowknowing that I was part of the plot that he has brewing.

I'm glad to see that you made some lemons for the other stories all in the same day. I felt so happy to read them all. Don't worry, you're not so insane that you can't write excellent stories. We all need that little bit of insanity to keep us going. I sure know that I need some insanity, or at least I know that I'm slightly insane to be working the job I am right now, but I like it. If only I could go to school too. Oh well, whatever. *Jumps excitedly.* YEAH FOR LEMONS!!! Thanks, Card.
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From ANON - jaygoose on April 28, 2004
Oh my, Drama, Drama, Drama! I love a good fic full of lies and decite and intrigue. I love it!

I had to read the beginning more than once to make sure that I understood wwas was going on. No that is not a bad thing. I love complicated plot lines. Your readers should definitely have to think while reading a ficy. At least I think so.

I am wondering what is up with Bulma though. Is it just her that is hearing these thoughts and are they hers. I am so interested. I like Bulma and I actually like ChiChi too. She's cool in this one too. Poor Krillin, I get a headache just trying to ustanstand what he's goning through. All those jumbled up minds to sift thur.

And Trunks is a mix breed with ChiChi's race, am I understanding correctly? If I am right then he just might be the coolest character in this fic. Looks wise anyway.

And to keep you updated on Kalika, it looks like I am actually going to make the Friday deadline. Yes! Chapter 13 is almost finished and 14 is 3/4ths done.
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From ANON - Mechanical Butterfly on April 28, 2004
I love how everyone in this fic has some sort of special power. It is so rad! I am gonna have to say I think ChiChi's is the coolest. And if this was made into a movie I would want to be her!

�Hobble us,� she said, �What will we eat? What will we do as we sit out here and rot?---Loved everything after this line in her wise little ch. ch. She is SO cool! And yes just because someone speaks the future doesnt mean they are speaking the truth of it. You would think saiyajins would be the least trusting creatures...but then again it's amazing who ppl will follow. I mean if we had a leader that spoke of seeing the future, had visions...I bet quite a lot of ppl would follow him/her...

Great. Just. Fucking. Great. Something was ticking and lingering, his father was trying to kill them, and the princess was signing their death warrants. --LoL, loved how that was summarized.

trying to see where he hid that horrible, horrible part of himself so efficiently that nobody had ever seen it. ---Sad, that he has to look at his father in such a way. And how intriguing it is to know that ppl are masters at their own performances showing what they want for a particular audience...and it is disturbing also..disturbing he can look at his son and talk normally...scary...he is indeed the star of his own play...*hands Bardock an award*

The knowledge that nobody had ever opposed Bardock and lived to tell of it. --O_O hehe wow Bardock really is a ruthless leader...Never read a fic like this, where Bardock is so seemingly evil and cruel. Oh gosh...I just want to know why, why he did all of this. Why did he even have Goku save the Prince??? Unless he wanted them all together so he could attempt to kill them all...then no evidence or no retaliation..but whatever it is...I love this fic!

�What�s happening?� Krillin asked--DUH!!! the door is bending! *shakes head* Idiot...
Anywho, I too would loe to know what is happening..it sounds scary...and sounds like Bardock does want everyone on that ship together to die...so many thoughts I am thinking!

Vegeta: WHY the HELL am I WATCHING the stupid DOOR?!--ROFL!!!!!

Mostly I tell plot lines to folks and they tell me where the holes are, or whatever, but they don�t actually read. --hehe, I have told many a folk my plots and they have done the same thing to me. Or, this one time I told my friend this idea I had for a fic, and she just stared at me...didn't even answer. So I took that as she didn't really like the idea. I wrote it anyway...and it became Malicious...

(Why are you reading then? Hmm?)--Oh because...I am weird. I listen to music, watch t.v., read fics, attempt to write my fics, and do homework all at the same time...its so frustrating to do and that's why I love doing it. But when I start reading fics...I usually stop doing everything else..-_- Then when I finish I'm like what was I doing? Oh yeah....

^.*
-MB-
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From ANON - Ginia on April 28, 2004
Why stand against the King? Well I sorta have two theories... the first is that the King knew where the Prince was and did nothing, perhaps was the origin of the decision to retrieve the future Super Saiyan - ok, its unlikely but possible. There is even support for this in the current chapter. Bardock handles the King's dirty work - if the Prince was openly opposing the King, the King might have wanted him out of the way but not killed. He probably did not expect his death to come for many, many years and a humbled Prince could be retrieved when needed.

My other theory is actually pro King Vegeta - The King only knows his son is missing but not who is responsible. That info can't be made public without inviting political disaster. Bardock (the all powerful that no one stands against) and confidant of the King got rid of the Prinfreefreed his own son, and continued for the 10 years the prince was missing to make himself indispensable to the King and government. Why? To take the throne, supported by his powerful son, after the King died. Why retrieve the Prince? Well it would be a bit embarrassing if the Ice-jin showed up with the REAL King after Bardock took the crown.

As to what is going on now... Chichi has my vote for accuracy. Delay but not prevent Goku's return while getting rid of as many witness as possible sounds good to me. I hope that Gohan decides to be as helpful as possible to our guys and goes against whatever Bardocks purpose is.

Why is Vegeta watching a door become modern art? Well, he 'is' tied up facing the door - and that is the only visible evidence of the hell that seems to have broken out on the ship. His mind is fogging over - where are those thoughts of how pretty Goku is coming from? - and seeing a door bend in half might be quite entertaining at that point... *ahem* did I really just say that?

I think its time for ending this commentary - I seem to be slightly out of my mind.

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From ANON - macha on April 27, 2004
Okay, so my biggest question has been answered! Now I am as clueless, and that's the way I like it. Keep me guessing, and you'll keep me reading. (You'd keep me reading anyway. I like your stories.)

Chi knows something, but it seems the warning has come to late, or has it? Gohan's a problem? I thought he didn't like Bardock.

I didn't understand what Goku wasing ing at the end about plastic bags. I guess it's alright though, cause he said it was.

Tremors in a spaceship? That's interesting; now I have to try to think of reasons why there would be tremors.

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From ANON - setharo07 on April 27, 2004
I don't ever think that I would have seen something lurking in the shadows in this story, but that's to be expected in this story. Truths come to light, and lies are are revealed, even if it's after ten years. This other person who openly opposes Bardock has to be slightly obvious, like maybe Radditz. Dunno, just guessing. I keep telling myself that cliffies are good, but I just can't wait to see what will happen. Oh, and the part where Vegeta randomly starts thinking about Goku being pretty, even when the attacks/tremors start, it startled me for a minute, but that was a great way to stop Vegeta from going too much farther in that direction. I actually wonder what it is that's supposed to hobble the ship, and I wonder how they're going to deal with it. Hm, is the 'plastic bags' a clue, if so, you're sneaky, and scary Card. But in a good way. For the nice twists and turns, and all the stories you do, here's a basket FULL of lemons, so you can make plenty of lemonade.
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From ANON - Getarian on April 27, 2004
Hello Card.
Well, this feels about as awkward as it gets, I almost didn't post after all. Felt a huge case of apprehension. Decided to write a huge post, explaining in detaiy I y I responded the way I did, but came to the conclusion that I was wasting my time. I thought I had made my feelings perfectly clear, but apparently none of this was taken into consideration by those that condemned my actions. So I figured it was pointless to try to explain further. I am gla glad that we got to talk things through, though.

Howeverwoulwould like to take this moment to defend myself about these points, which I was accused of... hope you don't mind.
I need you to know these things, although I hope that you already do, but in case they made you wonder...

I was not making it personal, nor was I flaming.

Was it personal? Yes, but not in the way it was implied. It was personal for me, because I felt that I had been led into the very thing which distressed me, so sure, I was deeply upset and felt that I needed to get away from all of your fics for a while, in fact I had no joy for any of the fics at that moment and just wanted to get away from it all. I felt that my trust had been betrayed, and yeah, I thought that was obvious in what I said, without saying the actual word. Please bear in mind Card, that I now know this is not true, but I'm attempting to explain why my goodbye review was based on emotion, yet was in no way an attack on you personally.

Never once did I abuse you, r onr once did I abuse your writing style or storytelling skills, never once did I make a personal attack on you, the only thing I did say that wasn't positive re: your story was that I didn't like your interpretation of Vegeta, and believing what I did at the time, I truly didn't.

All I ever wanted, was to know whether I could cope with what was coming up. Really not too unfair of me. Therefore my reaction was emotion based, but it was never a flame.

I was told that I was not offering constructive criticism and I should be ashamed of myself.

I couldn't offer constructive citicism, there was nothing about your actual storytelling to criticise, the only problem I had was Vegeta's dignity being stripped from him (and this I had already stated).

As I have repeatedly stated, I think that you are a wonderful writer, a great storyteller andove ove your worlds. What's to criticise?

Did I disagree with the idea that Vegeta would ignore his personal pr and and settle for the life of a whore over death?

Hell, yeah.

What could I do about that? Nothing. It's not my story, and it would be incredibly wrong of me to suggest that you change that, and it would have been incredibly insipid of you to do so if it would affect the actual flow of your story. I know that you wouldn't do that, and I would hope that yoow Iow I would not ask that. However, for me, it wasn't something that I could read.

Yes, I freely acknowledge that I was wrong about that line. But as I hope you realise, there was no way for me to visualise that, the line didn't mean what it said, I assumed, based on that line, that the story had taken a turn and there was a reason for this attitude of Vegeta's, one that would be fine for most people, but one that I simply couldn't accept.

I also freely admit that it is not up to you to have to explain your reasons behind your work. But, *sigh* I never once asked you too. I'm human, I have faults, I have fears and yes,ave ave emotions, I reacted, based on the belief that the water was fine, when at that point, it wasn't.

I will say this. A good author should evoke emotions, some, so strong that some people have no choice but to put the book away, never to be read again. If I wrote a story and didn't affect anyone at all, I'd be pretty damn disappointed. However; for people to expect someone to 'leave their feelings at the door', shrug, and mumble about it 'just being a story' is not what storytelling is about. I'm not saying that this was said, or even thought, may not have, but I wouldne the the least bit surprised if it was.

One final point I really feel I mak make...

I have no idea where the implication that I was your beta, came in. But I would like to make it perfectly clear that I can't beta anything. For starters, I'm not totally happy with my grammar, I sometimes get incredibly lazy about it. Also, I can't use my e-mail. , th, the only time I can review at fanfiction net, is when I make it to the internet cafe, and that is not as often as I would like. So, I just want to make it clear to anybody who thinks so, that I am not your beta.

Going to start reading your fics now Card, it's going to take a while to catch up, and I will post my reviews once I've completed them, this gives you time to re-think about whether you even want me back in your world, let me know if you feel that it may be better if I don't, I realise that my opinion is not respected too much out there, so it's fine with me if you feel that it will be better to keep the waters calm.

You can try e-mailing me at Getarian@yahoo.com.au. I have received mail before, just can't post out.

Anyone else wishes to tell me how wrong I was, please understand that I have no intention of answering you, but go ahead. I'm tired of this, but I'm not backing away from it, unless it becomes the right thing to do for Card.

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From ANON - jaygoose on April 27, 2004
Hmm...I had been wondering about Bardock from the beginning of this fic. He seemed a little suspicious, now I know why. I had always liked the guy it's good to see him in a new light.

Guess what...Friday is my last day of school...Yes...Writing galore!
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From ANON - macha on April 27, 2004
oh, one more thing, I have this feeling 'My son is a prisoner, please go free him,' isn't all that was said between Bardock and Vegeta.
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From ANON - macha on April 27, 2004
*sigh* You didn't say whether or not Bardock was capable of seeing the future. So......there are many things running through my head. If he is, did he send his own son to Frieza in order to learn how to help someone getting over the drugs so that later on he could help the Prince?

I like your take on Vegeta going to try to free Goku. That was a twist(I like twists)

Back to the Bardock thing. (You'll have to keep reading this if you don't answer me, even with an 'I can't answer that righw')w') Being preminicent isn't always an easy thing. People ask, 'how could you', and the only answer is, 'I knew where/what it would lead to.'

I would have to agree with Goku, 'No sex?' Ah....but of course I really want it to be healthy, rational sex. Not addiction sex, so I may have to wait a little longer.
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From ANON - setharo07 on April 26, 2004
Cool! Two chapters in one day.
"(Ah, the many uses of breasts.)" Loved this line. Glad to know that even in the midst of all the dark and angst, there is some humor. Oh dear, Gohan, even slightly good, and having Bulma attracted to him, definitely strange, but I may be able to like that. But Bardock, evil, I can see. What a horrible father, to lie to his own son, and to allow Krillin into his mind knowing where he is at all times. He should die for his treason. Will Goku or 'Geta do the deed? I'd love to see that. I can understand about Krillin being a prince, now, and I kinda feel sorry about that ending of the chapter, what with Krillin being ashamed, but at least now he knows the truth. Charm City loves you, Card, eve I' I'm the only one from here. Bai-Bai! o.O' *mutters to self* OKAY, gotta go to sleep soon. 'Night!
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From ANON - Mechanical Butterfly on April 26, 2004
Loving it more and more...

Reminded him that it was the Prince�s duty to save his people. And Vegeta had been foolish, had been blind, so he blithely told Bardock they would save Goku.--How very selfless of him. and foolish and blind...but selfless. Because even being the Prince and knowing saving his ppl is his duty..he could have said no. Could have let fall to the wayside, but he went...not knowing he was being lied too. Just shows me what an incredibley un-selfish person he is. To do all he can for his ppl...and even if it wasn't the wisest of choices...no one is perfect.

Swore to kill him, to annihilate the basta-Goo-Good and he should. I knew ever since I read that thought of Vegeta's when he said what else didn't Bardock tell Goku...I knew something was amiss...

It makesso mso mad. And I never thought I would say this because I love Bardock...but I hate him! Iknow a parent can get psycho for their kid...I know because I am one...But I can not help the anger that I feel toward him. To trick his own Prince...but as wicked as that plan was I can see it wasbablbably the only thingeza eza would ever trade him for.

It's horrible...and at the same time brilliant...playing with Vegeta's Princely status making him feel as if it is his duty...(and it is in a way) but to lie like that...I do...I want Bardock to suffer...but then again...I dont know if I do... It is very complicated to me. To save a child but...but to treat your Prince in such a manner...yeah a price should be paid...

Was tired and hurting, and hating everything around him bhis his idiot that hung his head and promised that if that was all true�if it was true�that he would help. He would take down his own father. --That must be very hard for Goku...and loved how the if it was true part was repeated. just wow, being able to say that if it is true he will bring down his own father...this get's better and better every chapter.

Also loved all the questions Vegeta posed in his mind especially the question of why would Bardock save his son knowing that if and when the Prince was saved he would tell on him...or maybe Bardock though no one believe the Prince or maybe alot of things...I can understand why Vegeta didn't think aboutany any further...it is alot to absorb.

They thought those ears were just so cute that they could gag and die.--ROFL! Well I hope she doesn't cause any deaths...hehe

What a beautiful world they lived in, where icejins tried to kill them, and they helped out by killing each other.---LoL
it is touching...just like a hallmark card.

Because he could not bear the thought of going before the Saiyan Prince and asking for that forgiveness. He would. Would offer his life for the pain he had not prevented. ---good...and he should. and I am so ugh! *shakes fist* Bardock! he is just, words can not explain. He is so horrible and cruel...and what is his plan...what is behind all of this. And also having access to Goku's thoughts...*shakes head* I am at a loss for words abbout Bardock.

Thanks for thera cra chappie.
Love this fic...more than life...hehe ok not that much or I would be dead...but I love it alot.
^.*
-MB-

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From ANON - jaygoose on April 26, 2004
I love you ficcy. It is so dark and wonderful. I am a twisted little something aren't I?

Hmm...about Kalika. I am trying. I really am. *looks sheepish and hopes that she will be forgiven for her slacking* I got two chapters going now. I will post them both at the same time. I am aiming for Friday. Ok?
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