Adult-FanFiction.org : Gundam, Beyblade, DBZ, FMA

Reviews for Desecrate

By : immatureimp

From ANON - LaRieaux on April 10, 2005
I feel I must apologize...you see that flame on your review board is for me. I know that sounds crazy but it is. Excuse her, she's STUPID.
Your stories are the best and ignore anyone that tells you otherwise.
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From ANON - Camaro on April 02, 2005
::looks at Android22's review::

::shakes head::

ExFUCKINGcuse me?! Ohhhhhhh It's on now bitch.

Camaro
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From ANON - LaRieaux on March 18, 2005
Very beautifully written, a little hard to follow though but very good nonetheless.
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From ANON - Anon on March 12, 2005
Wow this IS good!
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From ANON - Jess on March 12, 2005
Well, I don't think there's anything left to say after Camaro's enormous review! Camaro was actualy the one who made me want to read this. What do I think? Fantastic. It is just sooo deep I felt like I was being sucked into the character. I could see it all like I was actualy living it, see, feel, hear, smell it all clearly in my head, it was amazing! This is one of those fics, like I think Camaro said, that leaves you thinking about it for hours afterwards. At some points in your fic I had to pull away just to get it all to sink in. I love your style of writing, and the unique characters you've created within Trunks and Gohan. And... I can't think of anything else to say. Simply; this is one HELL of a story, you're one HELL of a writer and... I love it!
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From ANON - Camaro on March 11, 2005
Ok, I've been putting this off for a while since I've actually read over this about 6 times now and find something new that I like everytime. Am I obsessive? Quite. But wow, this has instantaneously beome my very favorite fanfiction (if you want to refer to it like that, I for one almost gag at the thought of throwing this into the same category, but hey!) I like to think of this as one of the most psychologically indepth stories I've ever come across and I was almost sexually aroused simply because it was written so fucking well!

::is still rendered nearly speechless from her first reading::

Gah, do you KNOW how hard it has been to figure out how to word this? Seriously, it's been days and no matter how many people I recommend this to and no matter how many conversations I have about it, the details I want to portray in my review just seem... lacking? Stupid? Petty? Christ, it's like having to follow up behind Celine Dion in a karaoke contest! haha, how the hell am I suppose to do this justice?!! And I'm pretty good with words but lord!

Ew, and before I even get to the review, I just want to say what a fucking tragedy it is that so many people have obviously read this (from the hit count) and been so rude as to not review... but then, I'm honest to God thinking they were intimidated because I SURE AS HELL AM. And it's unfortunately true as well that because this is titled "ADULTfanfiction.net" the more 'popular' stories contain absolutely no content and revolve around "oh fuck me you big sweaty man bitch". haha... so true talent and raw writing skills are often overlooked... though not by me and with your permission, I'd like to link this on my website.

Ahem* Without further dicking around, I'd like to tell you WHY I am so in love with your story. And if this sucks, forgive me but at least I'm giving this a try unlike SOME UNMENTIONABLE JACK ASSES.

I LOVE the detailing... let me tell you specifically some that I've memorized and fallen in love with. (and yes, this will be a marathon review.. just work with me haha)

"Places covered in hideous pastel, cheap paint chipping off stucco walls and poorly tiled roofs. Neon signs with various letters missing."

It's just the little details that you truly slapped the reader in the face with your writing skills. I was blown away by how intricate some of the descriptions are, like everything is a metaphor, every little word has a deeper meaning. There IS no skimming over the paragraphs as I have the tendency to do and I found myself constantly just being sucked into the story. As the cursor bar to the right went lower and lower, signally the approaching end, I dreaded having to click downwards! I was cursed with this inability to let it end, so enthralled and engulfed by the world you had created. So help me God, I am obsessed!

These lines struck me instantly and I felt so inclined to actually save them so as to later let you know how powerful they were...

"Isn't pain the deepest touch of all? It's been so long since anyone has cared enough to hurt me."

This phrase immediately became a favorite, drawing me in and almost shocking me with how INTENSE it was... How metaphoric and how true to every day life... You always hurt the ones you love and I found that this was just another, more original way, of portraying that truth. Why do your sentences shock me so much?!

""I'm just as much to blame as he is, can't resist the power and the danger. Because everyone is drawn to something stronger than themselves."

Again, you've blown me away by how strong you write, everything in its place. And while obviously, every paragraph held some sort of fascinating content, certain sentences seemed to pop from the page, forcing me to read them over and over again. You make me THINK and that's a sign of a great author.. when you have to ponder over what they write and find yourself thinking about it long after the page has been closed.

This is only safe in the darkness, the light of day makes it too clear, gives it a meaning it shouldn't have.

I think sometimes this is true of many relationships, or more specifically in my case, sexual encounters that mean virtually nothing to at least one of the participants. It's almost like he's saying, that as soon as he woke up from the hunger and the raw, primal need, the light was cast on it, bright enough to display the horror and the filth of the act. And although he IS using the words darkness and "light of day" in a literal sense, I think it can be taken metaphorically as well... man, how amazing huh?

And imagine my surprise as I continued into Trunk's POV only to see the sentences that I had saved to praise you for later, were used again in different context, by a different character! I was yours completely by that point, grabbing random morons on my buddylist and shoving the link down their throats. How incredible that not only had you written these phrases once, but had ultimately a whole new purpose for them later! Am I making any sense? haha

I also appreciated how you seemed to alter your writing style for Trunks, giving both characters stronger, more noticeable personality by making the two vary from each other in thinking aspects. Trunks is more laid back, his manner of thinking more akin to my own, so you can imagine I understood his reasoning and took it personal...

::is now your willing slave::

You are so fucking phenomenal it blows my mind! And when I later read your other depictions of Trunks in other stories you've authored (I've read them all by the way. ::bows:: ) I notice that you have your own characteristic style of writing him.. how very interesting and trademark of you. Don't all authors put their own preferences into their characters, at least in the way of making them their own?

"Oh, for fuck's sake. Let's call it what it is, shall we? It's hunger. All of it, it's all... just... hunger. And I hate to call it that because food is something I can't live without, yes, food is something I need, but damn it, he shouldn�t be. "

The way you write his point of view is so personable, (especially in your story "What You Need" where he addresses the reader as if he were writing in a diary) and I fall instantly in love with him.

The dialogue is cold and detached, something very real and realistic to our world. It wasn't laced with a lot of feeling but the emotions were very subtly there. Man, you have captivated me so completely.. You've captured the numbness and yet, have also embraced the raw desire, both in the same story. Like ice turning suddenly to a blazing fire, freezing once more at the end of the tale.

The religious undertones were something I could appreciate and respect, as I find that for some reason, religion in fanfiction is a taboo not to be messed with. Well, I think you broke all the unspoken rules with this one and forced to compliment you on it. I don't think I've ever been so enthralled with something like this.. not a fanfiction. I just wish I could bring out even more points that I was thrilled with, only unable to do so since I'd basically be pasting your entire story into a review and commenting like a schmuck on every sentence.

So please forgive me if I've left anything out (and I know I have) and let me know if there would be ANY WAY I could link this story on my website.

Camaro

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From ANON - macha on May 09, 2004
Ahhhh, this was written VERY, VERY well! I can't say that it was 'good' in the sense of 'holy' or 'nice', so I say written well. You had my heart ripped up for both of them, but now I need closure. Please say that you are going to continue with this fic. Who hasn't finished the bonding?

"Get your head out of your a$$ Gohan, and leave Videl!" Sorry, if Trunks won't say it, then I will!
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