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  • 1

Reviews for Children of the League

By : Pangel
  • From ANON - morning fey on December 30, 2004
    The story is interesting. Good thoughts behind it. The one thing that sticks out is the flow.
    It's hard to read. Partly this is because of sentence structure, partly because other words
    word simple sound better. I won't grumble about a few spelling errors. I would suggest you
    read and re-read, alot. Re-phraze and move things around until it's smooth and easy to
    understand. Perhaps, more use of imagery, more desriptive terms about the people and
    places would make it seem more real. Feel free to e-mail me if you need anything.
    Shelly
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  • From on December 29, 2004
    Your crap. quit writing and delete your account. give the valuable bandwidth space to someone with talent.
    Report Review

  • 1
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