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Reviews for Wild Thing

By : Gokumum
  • From liz on January 12, 2008
    You know, the first problem with this is assumed attraction. You gave me no reason to see why they are attracted to each other beyond muscles and the usual *squee omg they'd be hawt and aren't I clever for putting them together.** Strange pairing alone makes a good fic, NOT. And songfics are so bad. you did nothing to change my mind here. And if you must make a bad songfic, I suppose a moldy oldy makes it almost camp. If you went all out and actually realized you had a badfic in the works and just went with it you would have had something FUN here. Instead you thought it was terribly clever (why?) and you thought you were terribly adept (again, why?)

    now to your writing style. Or lack of it. What can I say? You write like thw words are getting in the way and you dont' care which ones you use as long as you can move along to copy and paste your next set of lyrics.

    It's easy to see people've been lying to you about your (lack of) talent. Look at this abused set of words, here: //He sighed again, shifting the weight from one leg to the other, carefully avoiding any rise of ki and unnecessary noise, nearly holding his breathing.// Nearly holding his breathing? Do you realize how bad that phrasing is? Do you even care?


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