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Reviews for Primal Urges

By : janaleigh

From ANON - Camaro on June 07, 2005
I was SOOOO excited when I saw that you had updated and of course, you never let me down. It's so back and forth with Gohan. There are times when I feel so much compassion for him, when I truly understand where he's coming from. Then at other times, it takes Trunks for me to realize that yeah, Gohan IS using revenge to get back at his father, being immature and embittered. It's even more wishy washy with Goku since I understand where he's is coming from as well. He's Saiyan, he needs freedom yet at the same time, why make a family, why take on that responsibility when you have every intention of leaving them?

And how unfair of him to leave that responsibility in Gohan's hands? But again, I do think of Chi Chi and although you make her mildly personable in this story, I can DEFINETLY sympathize with his wanting to leave.

Gohan sometimes seems so old to me, like he's gone through so much pain and what not. Then at other times, he's a teenager again, playing rude tricks on Trunks and making an asshole of himself. Very human how you make your characters.

The only thing that seems more soap opera than human is that you make the characters cry so often. You know me! haha.. I can't really feel sympathy for characters when they cry so often... it makes it more special and more touching when they don't sob like women in damn near every chapter ya know? Plus, they're men! They're Saiyans! Yet they bawl so often I find them pitiable and weak...

Other than that, amazing chapter as always.

Camaro
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From ANON - Rayne on June 06, 2005
Wow. Just wow. I mean, wow. This chapter was everything I needed today. I swear, I hyperventilate every time I see an update for this fic. ^_~ I wish I could comment on just everything that made this chapter one of my very favorites...but I'm just...blown away. *grin* I really love this fic; it's undoubtedly one of my favorites EVER! I understand, though, that you've got other fics to concentrate on. You can't possibly do it all at the same time and still balance real life (or at least, I know I can't ^^), so I'll be forgiving...this time...lol. Anyway, I wouldn't want you to compromise the quality of a chapter just to please us fans. So you keep right on doing what you do, and I'll most definitely be here until the end!
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From ANON - YaminoBaku on June 06, 2005
Wow. Ok, this is the first time I've ever commented twice on someone's story. It's just THAT GOOD!

The end of chapter 13 really fucking hit me. In fact, to be perfectly honest, I cried. I loved the fight scene between them. Because even though their emotions are so totally human, you reminded us in that scene that they are also half Saiyan. With them turning SSJ, and the building about to give out.

I really liked the scene with Vegeta talking to Trunks too. I'm a huge Vegeta fan, and you've kept him so perfectly..him! I knew that the moment Vegeta mentioned entering the speical Budokai tournament that he wasn't joking, even though Trunks was laughing at the comment. Wonderful.

And why the end scene made me cry, was because I could so totally feel Trunks' pain. Even the physical. I myself have gotten in a fierce fight with someone I love, and the emotional and physical pain you feel afterwards just makes you cave in completely.

You really do seem to be aware of how people think and act in any situation. That's what makes the story so totally real. As if you've really bought the characters to life.

Again, looking forward to your updates.
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From ANON - Macha on June 06, 2005
O.O...... O.O.... I think I need to blink sometime soon. The first two thrids of this chapter got lost in the drama of the third part. OMG.... How embarassing for Trunks in the first place, and then to have Gohan play that kind of game with him... AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Of course, I think Gohan knows that it wasn't a very nice game to play now. Sucks that hind sight is 20/20 doesn't it?

The confrontation by Vegeta went better than I had thought it would. Of course, I didn't even see the blackmail thing coming. LOL, ah, I think Vegeta was going to ask Trunks to participate in the tournement anyway, how nice to have some leverage, Hm?

Thanks for the update on why your updates are so sparatic. Just know that I am always keeping an eye out for your stories!!! :)
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From ANON - Legolas19 on May 31, 2005
OMG!!! U have to update! Like NOW!!!
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From YaminoBaku on May 30, 2005
I've been reading this fic for a while now, and am just now managing to give you a review! ^.~

I'm truly amazed at your ability to keep the characters such as themselves, but, for Gohan's part, give them a whole new light. You've kept me, and no doubt others also, on the edge of my chair, even in the middle of a chapter, and cliff-hangers are usually at ends of chapters! ;) Heh.

The way you've built up Gohan's character in this story is wonderfuly.. WONDERFULY done. I love how Trunks is handling the situation though. You've kept his modesty, but added some more human emotions to him, like jealously over the picture of Videl. The emotion of jealously can strike even the best of us, and you've shown that. I also admire how you've kept the characters such under control. Some writers make characters crack and break too easily, which in turn, ruins the the story in my opinion. And even when the characters get angry in your story, it doesn't make you think 'Whatever, he/she would never do that.' Which goes back to my comment about keeping the characters as themselves. It's almost as if you've reached inside the TV screen, taken a fair few characters from the dragon ball world, and put them into a whole new world, and they're just reacting to how things have gone.

Again, beautifuly writen. I sincerly wish to read more of this story, and your others, in which I've just started reading.

Great work.
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From ANON - Xero Sky on May 09, 2005
I've really enjoyed this story so far. I have a couple of small quibbles, though. If you are going to make the saiyajins powerful enough to go super saiyajin and to ascend, you might want to reconsider whether Gohan could *ever* be injured by an ex-boyfriend, and whether STDs and such are likely to be a problem for his demi-saiyajin immune system.

Trunks seems a bit too tentative, but Gohan is dead sexy.

I hope that you get through the flashbacks soon, actually, because I'm interested in seeing what Trunks' reaction is to Gohan's story.
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From ANON - Rayne on May 04, 2005
I love the way this is fleshing out. The pace isn't too fast or too slow (even though I wish you'd UPDATE a whole lot sooner...^_~), and the portrayal of emotions is fantastic. The fact that Gohan broke down into tears when Piccolo left was a fabulous touch, showing that Gohan still cares about the people he left behind. And in this chapter you can see signs of the person he is to become...and I can't wait for more!!!! MUST HAVE MORE!!!!! *squeals* I absolutely ADORE this fic, and I really do check everyday to see if you've updated. O_O Please update soon!
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From ANON - Webtester01 on May 03, 2005
Wow. Good thing Gohan switched to wearing the mask. Unruly crowds are no good during an event.

You do a great job portraying the emtions of the characters. Keep it up.

~Webtester01~
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From ANON - T- on April 16, 2005
Very powerful. I'm close to heart-broken now...
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From ANON - hayam on April 15, 2005
longer!!!!!!!!!!!!! The chapters must be longer

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From ANON - Rayne on April 15, 2005
I just about fell outta my chair when I saw this was updated! I've been waiting for what seems like forever...!! Don't make us wait so long next time! ^_^ But yeah, this fic is amazing and I sit eagerly waiting for more of Gohan's story. We're getting to the good part. Always love a nekkie Gohan. ^_~
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From ANON - Camaro on April 15, 2005
Well, I know I already reviewed this on mediaminer but I wanted to make sure you got one here as well so that everyone knows what terrific fic I find this. (Plus, we ALL know how rarely those come along) So here ya go!

Great chapter. I will have you know that when he walked in on Chi Chi looking at his pictures, I quite literally said "Oh my GOD!" out loud! I covered my mouth and just read on. You've got this amazing shock appeal that just blows my mind Dharma. And to think, I was afraid this story would end up mushy gushy.. yet look how amazingly far you've taken it.

Absolutely ASTOUNDING! I'm still reeling from all the shocks and how incredibly you've developed the storyline. Truly interesting and I found most of the details completely balanced, yet crucial to the plot where they were. Hard to describe, I know.

Videl's and Gohan's interaction was so real and human, I could almost feel the shame he must have indured yet I also completely went along with his reasonings, even using his father's own faults as an excuse never to make the same mistakes. I also loved that Videl didn't go ape shit on him and start calling him names like "Faggot" and "queer" and what not like other stories do. And that she questioned her own adequacy in bed with him. Very sad, yet she admitted to understanding, despite the very real love she must have had for him.

Truly heart wrenching and in depth. I positively LOVE this story now. You've won me over. Like I've said, I'm a groupie now and I cannot wait until you update this. You do realize I'm always checking right? Yours is the only story that can ever do that to me. And I have limited words now, so I gotta end this with AWESOME!

Also, since MediaMiner cuts off reviews, I just wanted to elaborate more thoroughly on a few points that I specifically (do you know how tired I am? It took me about 10 tries just to remember how to spell that word! haha) appreciated.

He dressed and then flew to her house, the sky still dark blue and studded with fading stars.

It's like you're setting the mood for us in this sentence, using the surroundings as metaphorical images to effect the setting and the emotion of the characters. Like... the love is still there, still holding on slightly, but inevitably, it will fade with time, erupting in a new day, a new life. Absolutely gorgeous! You see how crazy I am when I'm tired?!

I loved how thoroughly Gohan had thought it through, admiting (probably most regretfully) that while his father may have been marrying for the WRONG reasons, he had NOBLE reasons at least. And now, in a different scenario, Gohan is using nobility to admit to himself and to the woman he loves the inevitable decline that would be their relationship together. He uses his mind to sort out his own emotions, laying to the wayside attachments and indeed, following the truth in his heart. (Do I still know what I'm talking about? Probably not, I'm rambling but it made sense at the time). Regardless!

I think the most unique thing about this story is the love between Gohan and Videl. THE GUY IS GAY! Yet, it doesn't effect the natural love between him and this woman. I find it so unique because most yaois (admittedly, including my own) have the character very quickly detach themselves emotional from their "frigid" wives. But you really broke the mold, letting Gohan's love for her remain thriving, yet still admitting that there would be a part of himself he could never truly surrender to her. Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

And again, I'm going with her reaction because I didn't have time to expound on it on mediaminer (or rather, space to elaborate). She first thinks of her own possible inadequacies in bed. What woman WOULDN'T think that once their boyfriend told them he was gay!? It'd be like my first reaction! "Oh my God, he was picturing me with a penis! Good LORD!" Or... maybe I'd say something like "Hey, there ain't nothin' on no man that I can't strap on sweetie".. or well, let's just chalk that one up to my being deliriously tired.

But wow, how humane of her to put aside her own pain and recognize the sheer nobleness (is that a word) in his actions. Her love for him is SO strong that even the barrier of sexual preference can't stand in the way of her respect and affection for him. Maybe it's her love that keeps her civil, her respect for his honoring her.

Amazing. I really do have so much more to say. I wanted to comment more on how uncharacteristic Chi Chi was and how cool it was that you pointed it out when you did, to let the reader know that YEAH! That IS OOC but hey, there's a damn good reason for it. And I wanted to point out how selfish Goku seems, yet there is always the strange underlining love and even respect that I imagine still plagues Gohan since he can understand his father's reasons for marrying Chi Chi, while stupid, were noble.

I also wanted to point out how phenomenal the dialogue was, not one word thrown in there without reason, every swear stinging the story with shock appeal. Every word was SO strong and meaningful, even me as a reader going "God damn Gohan!" And his parent's reaction, albeit a BIT different from what MINE would be if they found cock suckin' pictures (can I get a "Good Lord" for that one?) was very appropriate and tied into the storyline well. Awesome awesome job if I haven't stressed it enough.

But bed calls and I think I've quite thoroughly hogged your review board. Oh well, I can do that since it's pretty rare now days that it isn't a comical flame or just an all out "This sucks and I'm gonna tell ya why" review. This was great and I want people to know it, especially you. I always keep an eyeout for updates I'll have you know (though I'm pretty sure I just said that and am still rambling like a psycho with terrets but hey!)

mediocre job. BAH! JK.. Great job, I'm gonna be uncreative and end this with a delightfully cliche "plz update soon!"

Camaro

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From ANON - Macha on April 15, 2005
AH, Beautiful... well, at least the last part was. Gohan's determination,
will and 'bod' landing him a stripper job. I really did like the way the
club manager/owner(?) handled the situation. I am glad that Rick was
willing to give the new-be the chance.

Now, you may ask 'Why?' I am happy about this. Gohan may have turned out as
a badass, and he may have ran away from home, but there are certainly much
worse things that could have happened to him (at this point in his life). I
have a feeling that those things may have happened eventually, but he was at
least a little more prepaired to handle them.

Secondly, if Gohan had been put to shame and had to go home at a time that
his pride demanded that he do something else, well, he may very well have
been a whipped puppy for the rest of his life, and I don't like to see most
people as whipped puppies (there are exceptions... -_-... and a recent one
at that), but Gohan isn't one I would like to see as a whipped puppy.

ANYWAY, I am glad you continued with Gohan's story, and it doesn't seem as
though it is going to end soon.

Is Goten a possible key to getting Gohan on track? What happenes if Goten
follows Gohan's example? O.O

Excellent chapter,

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From ANON - Rayne on March 28, 2005
I LOVED the exchange between the angry Gohan and Goku, and how Gohan is so caring when it comes to his little brother. (Goten is just too cute, I swear...^^) You MUST update this NOW or else I WILL go mad....

*grins* Hope to see more soon! ^_^
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