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Reviews for Lucid

By : chayron

From ANON - Webtester01 on January 12, 2006
Wow. What a wild discussion. I think Gohan will be more accepting now that he knows about his father.

I look forward to more.
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From ANON - Camaro on January 12, 2006
Excellent chapter. I honestly don't see what you're talking about. Yes, Gohan is a tad submissive, but it's your story and I believe it works out well with the plot. I still like him immensely, maybe BECAUSE he's a bit more "human" and I can relate to his confusion and frustration.

And he HAS been through a lot, even enough that perhaps a Saiyan mind would struggle. Keep in mind, the unbreakable GOKU was out of it for days... I see Gohan's recent "weakness" as just a gathering of all the struggles he's been through. It seems as though maybe he isn't really coping as well as he wants to think he has been and it all just came crashing down around him as a result.

That's a lot of stress he carries around and I think in this chapter, more so than perhaps the last, he's being more honest about NOT having all the answers and NOT having everything around him in check.

I felt the confrontation with him and Mirai was necessary and done extremely well. Mirai is quite the enigma in this story yet I'm very drawn towards his character because we don't always see what he's thinking or planning and that makes his personality very unpredictable and intriguing. I honestly don't ever know what he's going to say or even what his intentions. And I enjoy that.

This story thusfar is in my mind, perfect really. It's very indepth and I think makes every reader question what they think they know about themselves. Gohan thought he had everything sexually understood about himself until that kiss. But I think the more he figures he has everything (including himself) under control, the more things prove him wrong.

It's just such an entertaining and interesting story. Very intense, very soulful and just.. excellent.

Camaro
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From ANON - Highlanddragon on January 08, 2006
poor Gohan! oh well at least Goku and Trunks rescued him. But how are they going to explain Eraiva's rather violent death without getting into too much trouble?
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From ANON - BballAnimeLover89 on December 27, 2005
GO TRUNKS!!! UPDATE SOON!!!
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From ANON - Roya on December 23, 2005
I Love this story!! Please update more soon!
~Roya~
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From BrucesGirl on December 23, 2005
Hello! I'm a friend of Camaro's and she told me to read your fiction.

I noticed that you're from Slavic Europe. I lived in Moscow, Russia for nearly ten years, and I speak Russian fluently. One of the things that was the hardest for me in Russia was learning to write in Russian. You have a wonderful, delicate talent that you've crafted into a beautiful story. Your descriptions are beautiful, and your stream of consciousness first person point of view is fantastic.

I'm very impressed with your skills, and I just want to let you know that you are one of the absolute best writers out there. Right up there with Camaro. *bright smile* You're very talented. Great job!
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From ANON - ~anz~ ^_~ on December 21, 2005
Splattered brains! Love it!

Seems Trunks got there just in the nick of time!

Gohan came soo close to having his salad tossed!!!

What a lunch!

Instead of tossed salad, we have splattered brains!

CAN'T WAIT FOR CHAPTER SIX!!!
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From ANON - Foxxy Jones on December 21, 2005
Another well written excellent chapter. KEEPUP the GOOD WORK
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From ANON - Camaro on December 21, 2005
Terrific. Just FUCKING amazing. So often I read stories where the first chapter blows my mind and then the rest is just a steady glide downhill. Yours stayed incredible the entire way. Nothing ever seems rushed, nothing ever fails to connect . You really have taken your time with this and I know that when I write out stories before I post them, they often turn out better because other people's opinions don't effect me or make me feel rushed.

I respect that you give nothing away about Vegeta, though I do admit I'm very curious about that part of the story. But all the more for us to decipher and discover later on.

I'm really blown away by how awesome this story is... it hasn't changed a bit from the beginning. I thought for sure there was no way to outdo the first chapter but you have steadily kept up everything up to par. How does it feel to know your only competition is yourself in this story? Living up to your own ingenious creations?

Truly Chayron, I'd never deny your talent but this? This is like a gem, a rare stone that hasn't even been discovered in the world of men yet. I think this has to be one of my absolute favorite stories of all time. The sense of survival and the mood that you create keeps me so ingulfed in the storyline that I feel as though I'm there.

The characters are wonderful, very loveable to me. Mirai is forever the charming, intelligent man who keeps his sorts about him even under the worst of pressure. I imagine his ability to handle this with his head held high is because of his lifetime of dealing with this sort of thing. He isn't new to loss or pain or death.

Gohan is my favorite because I love even his flaws. He is as self conscious as any human, as bitchy and complainy as I would be in such a situation, but you also notice through your incredible subtleties that he's growing more and more into a very strong man. Through his support and compassion towards his father, we forgive his humane selfishness that is displayed at times.

Goku confuses me and puts me on edge. I understand him sometimes, but I also feel that he is something of an eerie enigma in this story. I get uneasy when he comes around Trunks and his affections for his son (while understandable) sometimes put me on edge a tad.

I love that you do this though... you've created a mystery with in a mystery.

I could go on forever but already, you've made me late for work. You'll see that this story along with only one other is on my favorites list. It's there for a reason Chayron, not because I like you as a person (even though I do) but because your story has simply taken my breath away.

I commend you and I love you for writing this. I only hope that more people can see and experience this IMMACULATE tale... I certainly will be recommending it.

Camaro
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From ANON - Webtester01 on December 21, 2005
Wow that was intense.

I am glad Eriava got what he deserved. But I am concerned about those papers....

I could write my suspicions here, but I want someone else to figure it out too.
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From ANON - Camaro on December 21, 2005
OH my God. WOW. HOLY SHIT! WHY WHY WHY have you not told me about this story sooner?! It's positively amazing Chayron.. amazing. In fact, I can't stress it enough. I'm so in love with this story that it's almost pushed me to the point of speechless. I really don't know what to point out first.

It's SO psychological and written SO well that MY thoughts as a reader were completely entangled with Gohan's. What I'm saying is that despite how bizarre and crude Gohan was acting in this first chapter, I understood his reasonings. I felt like bashing Mirai's head in, however unnecessary. Gohan was redirecting his confusion and anger and yet I understood perfectly, like I would have reacted exactly the same.

This sentence in particular really caught my attention and I wanted to comment on how awesome it was.

Various emotions are floating around me as colorful balloons, but I can�t manage to grasp any of their strands. I sense that it would be better if I could.

It's just that Gohan's reactions to everything are so numb! And that's perfect. Sometimes I feel as authors, we are tempted and pressured to make EVERYTHING dramatic. But Gohan's dull, dizzying reaction to the news of dead friends is almost more of an emotional impact because we aren't told EXACTLY what he's feeling. We can only sympathize and accept how WE would feel.

Your wording so far is absolutely ingenious. That's right, I said it.. ingenious. Slowly but surely, everything is subtle. The subtle ways that we begin to see that Gohan is getting sick with a fever. The subtleties that make us understand that the real reason he's throwing up isn't the scent of the cherries, but because of the memories the smell induces.

Goku in this story pulls my heartstrings every time his name is even mentioned. A man so proud, so good and so strong, losing his mind to grief, entirely incapable of caring for himself. As much as sometimes Gohan's actions and thoughts seem a mystery, the horrors going through Goku's mind must be worse. It truly almost made me cry when Gohan learned the news...

But despite all that, I must say, this is INCREDIBLE. Shockingly so. I wish you would have told me about it so that I might have read it sooner. Truly, horrifying yet morbidly beautiful. I must continue to the next chapter.
Camaro
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From ANON - Flidar on December 16, 2005
Poor, poor Eriava... I wonder, who will hit him first... Gohan, Goku or Trunks? Well, it�s his own fault.

I really hope, that Vegeta is still alive. I mean, common, if Gohan survived it then Vegeta should have as well. ^^ You could pair him and Goku of!

And there�s only enough space for one person in the time-travel-machine? Solution found: The Fusion!! Goten and Trunks managed it, so I don�t see a reason why Gohan and Trunks wouldn�t. Please tell me whether or not I�m right with my idea of them fusing and fighting together!
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From ANON - Tsami on December 13, 2005
This story is great. I wonder how you manage to keep such a tension and, till recently with only three characters... Although you had them together interacting they were somehow completely disconected from each other... it was craaaazy... an intense and very likely consequence of the trauma they all suffered. At some point i started to wonder who was the LUCID one! none of them is lucid right now, at least till now... who will it be? *crosses fingers* Geta?
Still, there's something i didn't like... and i'm pretty sure you know it, as you made clear this is not a mpreg story... yet, i think the mention of it was really really not necessary... but, that's just my opinion.
please keep the good work and update soon!
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From ANON - HighLandDragon on December 10, 2005
Yeah, I can see it's not a darkfic now, It's definrtly Angsty. This is still good! I hope you update soon
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From ANON - ~anz~ on December 10, 2005
So what's really going on with Gohan and that guy Eriva...seems pretty steamy to me...hmm...

"And if you managed to organize the tests to ascertain Mr. Briefs Vegeta Trunks� identity for today, I would be grateful forever.�

What's up with that?.... Is he begging for it or something...?

And what of Trunks and Goku...? Do they even see this fool...?

Can't wait to see the rest of the story...

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