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Reviews for .:: The punishment for 1321184518 ::.

By : darkcrimson

From ANON - nashia on August 29, 2006
I forbid you to get rei raped or molested or even get his first kiss stolen by those assholes.besides garland's and brooklyn's rep is shitty.if rei screams rape (which he wont coz he is my baby and you can have anyone BUT rei raped )they will get expelled.rei may have crappy parents but their rich and i dont think his ma would be too happy .also the school is crowded so yeah.

that said your grammar/spellings have really improved although it could have been better.i liked the dream sequence and the flashbacks a lot but this chapter was so long and the story is already onto chapter ten but there is no murder let alone a punishment.considering the gap between updates this story could take a long time. could you pick up the pace.i like the length but in some places the contents drag.

is tala a drug dealer or an addict. he wouldnt sink that low for dealing but he hasnt displayed any effects in the little he has appeared in the story.also some drugs can have a harmful effect on the voice after an extended period so im not syre tala would risk that

whatever happened to neko jin balance .cats have great balance and speed not to mention their timing does not suck crap and they can calculate distane pretty accurately(i think) .besides rei knows martial arts so he is not entirely defenceless.

i am still hoping for a kairei coz i love it but their is no serious smut as yet XD

sorry to hear about your family problems hope you clear them soon and good luck with the next chapter .
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From ANON - Incessant_Darkness on August 18, 2006
Sorry I didn't review this earlier but I haven't been checking the Beyblade section lately. But I've read the latest chapter and I must say I enjoyed it very much. Mostly cause of Kai and I can't wait for the next chapter. So keep up the great work and update soon.

oh and I would help with the grammer but a) I'm only decent myself so you'd be better off with someone else and b)I would change too much, sentence structure wise and then I would hate myself for it cause this is your story. So I hope you find a wonderful beta or in the least keep this story going cause I'll keep reading either way.
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From ANON - Yaoilover on August 03, 2006
I thought you add another chapter because it was at the top.UPDATE SOON OK.I just love this story.
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From ANON - Ash on July 17, 2006
update soon.one ? what does the title name mean i'm confused help me out.PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE UPDATE SOON.OH YEAH MORE ACTION FOR RAY AND KAI IF THERE THE ONE THAT'S A COUPLE
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From ANON - nashia on July 13, 2006
hey im glad to see you've updated although i was hoping for the chapter to be longer and out sooner.oh well hope the party will be next chapter.this chapter does have less mistakes than the others although there are still some glitches. the tall things with leafy branches are trees not threes. im guessing u meant 1am not 1pm when they went shopping. was miguel jealous. other than that why was rei so scared because kai was on top of him was it simple fear or bad memories. and it has been a while since he joined college shouldnt he be in some relationship considering his looks and single status. at the end i thought u were talking about tyson since u mentioned navy eyes talas are ice blue.
besides i have offered to help with ur grammar/spelling in answer to your ad.
hope u update sooner and i do have the gall to ask for longer chapters. good luck.

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From ANON - Anon on July 13, 2006
hey you
i really love your story!!
please update it soon!!!!!

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From ANON - nashia on July 07, 2006
punishment for murder thats the title isnt it. it was actually so simple once i started thinking about it which was five minutes ago XD. please udate soon
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From ANON - Incessant_Darkness on July 05, 2006
wow I was reading your reviews cause I wanted to see when I last reviewed and then I read the last review you had and it mentioned the title. I didn't even notice it before but it intrigued me. Once I saw the numbers it was easy to figure out so I just had to. It only took me a minute once I realized the numbers were even there. And then I got so excited I just had to leave another review telling you I figured it out.

The title says 'The Punishment for Murder'. Simple really once you think about it, though I never really paid it any attention before. Split the numbers right? 13=M, 21=U, 18=R, 4=D, 5=E, 18=R. The number coresponds to it's position in the alphabet. D for example is the fourth letter in the alphabet. I know I'm right its just to perfect for me not to be. Anyways thats cool and inovative. And I'm still hoping you update.
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From ANON - ash on July 02, 2006
This is a great story and I positively love the storyline but your grammar and spellings make it so hard to read. Could you apply spell-check or get a beta. And please, rei is a human not a disembodied mass of raven hair so could add �boy� at the end instead of referring to him as raven hair. Second, if rei is intended to take over a company then won�t a business education be better than medical? Please update soon and bring on some kairei action (the things that can happen at a partyXD)I still haven�t been able to figure out the title.
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From ANON - Incessant_Darkness on June 18, 2006
Nice. cept for the cliffy. I would have forgiven you if Kai had been in the chapter but as of now I am caught between being dissappointed at the lack of Kai and being exceptionally kind in order to convince you to update faster and with more Kai. I was kind of hoping Rei would turn the light on to find Kai sitting center stage without a shirt, handcuffed and seemingly helpless only to jump up and completely strip Rei of his innocence but then again that is just my wild imagination getting way ahead of my literate mind. In other words the lack of Kai caused my mind to wander. Still I liked the whole thing with Brooklyn and Garland, I thought it was a nice touch. What is that the second time Rei's walked in on them doing something? If they were pissed at him interupting thier little snog session one can only wonder what they'll do to Rei for interupting them the way he did. Of course Rei can't be completely destroyed cause we know there still has to be some Rei/Kai action, Right? RIGHT?! Anyways, you want to know something weird when you describing the part about Rei being utterly shocked at what he saw and the image being burned into his mind and I still didn't know what he was seeing, I began to think he had walked in on a crime scene. For some reason I thought it would be blood and gore and what not. I was really worried for a second there but the scene pulled through brilliantly. Anyways I'm just rambling now, so I shall end this review. I hope that by making it as long as I did I have in some way influenced you to write faster. Looking forward to the next chapter, great work with this one. Update soon.
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From ANON - mizzGina on June 16, 2006
I just love this fiction... :D please update soon! it's so good.. :D
but i feel sorry for Rei.:P
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From ANON - forgottenlove on May 16, 2006
great story~I wish I could write as good as you. well good writeing skills goes to the lucky one I guess. well anywho nice story and Im SO loving it. plz contuine! I will give you cookie and an invtaion to the darkn side for blood.....wait tea. yes tea. *sneak away*
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From Might on May 09, 2006
Hey decided to review, even though we chat on line but still just wanted to say that you are doing good so far. Your story is going well and interesting. So please keep on writing and come to me if you wish for any help ya? ^^ Keep on going!
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From ANON - KamiaKotai on April 25, 2006
Hey,

Yea you updated! A quite a bit at that! I just love this story for some reason. But I was wondering about the er...unique title. Does it stand for anything? Anyway thanx for the great read. Catcha' later.

-Kami
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From ANON - Incessant_Darkness on April 23, 2006
Love the fic but your grammer sucks.
I love the plotline but it's really hard to read when the grammer is so bad, I don't know how I would have gotten through it if the plot line wasn't so interesting.
If you would like [I never make this offer but I really do like your concept] I'd be willing to help you out a little with the grammer and phrasing and spelling. If you would like my help look up my email on my author's page [same as the name I reviewed under] and email me. If you feel that you like the fic the way it is just keep writing, I'll keep reading either way.

PS. sorry it seems kinda short, it's just aff wouldn't let me review like 3 time already and so this is my 4th time typing this out and i'm running out of patience.
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