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Reviews for Spiral

By : Robyn
  • From ANON - Chloe on August 03, 2006
    Is there more? There must be more! Please please update?? I just *knew* Kakarott would stop him from being able to talk... Anyway, I am enjoying this (more than I should be, perhaps... O.o) Anyhow, I still want to see them talk about it and see how Vegeta explains himself. You are an awesome writer, please update this soon!
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  • From Tyrana on July 24, 2006
    I think it's brilliant how you describe this obsession of Vegeta, this sick masochist inside of him.
    Though I have a problem every time I read a story about this duality Goku-Kakarot, the dissociation of one personality from another. It's difficult to believe that after all his experiences and having developing his own strong personality, this other side, 'Kakarot' the real saiyan could remain inside of him. Certainly everybody has a dark side that can resurface from time to time,but I can't agree with the idea that this personality, 'Kakarot', is fully intact and can split so easily from the real Goku. And, besides, I don't know if the real Kakarot would have been such a monster.
    Anyway, I can accept it as an excuse to develop such a brilliant story.
    But now Goku has an unpleasant dilemma. How can he cope knowing that there's such a twisted, wicked being inside of him? And how will that change his relation with Vegeta knowing that the prince has awaken the beast? I want to know how you will solve this, cause it's very interesting.
    (Sorry if what I have written doesn't make sense, english isn't my native language and I don't know if you have understand what I've wanted to express)
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  • From ANON - Anon on July 22, 2006
    Ok....oh...my...GOD, this story is soooooooo amazing, I am totally in love with it. Wow...just wow...I just need to get some adjectives to explain this story out of the way and then I can normally review...ok: Brilliant, amazing, perfect, heart-pounding, moving, gripping, sheer awesomeness!! Well...now that that's out of the way, I really love this story. Your writing style is great and you make so the reader is totally in the story and feeling all the anxiety and fear the characters are experiencing. I loved the hypnotist scene. One truly realizes how clever Vegeta is...but then again not, because he had no idea what he was getting himself into. Trust it to Vegeta to truly want something badly and then have everything go wrong. Kakarotto...wow...evil evil guy. And you explained the torture and pain so well! Thank you for that. I loved the details and descriptions of Vegeta's building panic, his struggle, and realization that his idea wasn't the greatest one. I am also amazed by the way you kept the characters so...in character, haha. Vegeta was perfect and you kept him so in character. Rational thinking never left him and he tried to hide his pain. Such a strong character. Poor Vegeta, I felt so bad for him. Poor Goku, too. How confusing to wake up and find Vegeta in that condition. How awful to find out that he was the one who did it! o.O So yes, I can go on and on. Details, descriptions, and altogether writing style was great and I'm definitely watching out for the next update. Wonderful, great stuff!
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  • From ANON - Webtester01 on July 20, 2006

    Wonderful! *spork* Get another chapter out.


    Everything was so well described and visually enticing. Keep it up.


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  • From on July 13, 2006
    So interested in this. So interested.

    Update soon!
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  • From chibihoshi on June 22, 2006
    Okay, where's the REST of it? More, Woman! NOW!! And why havne't you posted this in SJS?? too Gory?? Anyway, I want you to know that I LOVE it, and you better let me know when you post the next chapter!! I mean it!!
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  • From ANON - chayron on June 19, 2006
    Hey,
    So the little princy is masochistic. Was this his plan? – To get himself a new playmate? Now I wonder how he is going to stop that his playmate from killing him… Though, probably there will be a two-sided connection: Kakarott does seem to like subdue the other. Though, Kakarott probably would get bored soon – I didn’t notice that Vegeta would have been a worthy opponent for him. Though, yeah, on the other hand – where would he get a worthier one?
    Anyways, the fighting scene was cool!

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  • From BrucesGirl on June 18, 2006
    Macha! What a great start to a story that's going to shock the world. I'm totally enjoying the way that you are chracterizing the split personalities of the Saiya-jin life on Earth. It seems to me that Vegeta is always looking for someone who is like him. I guess it's his ultimate goal to find someone that is just as ruthless as he is, and we all know that no matter how GOOD Vegeta seems to be, we all know he can be a dangerous, brutal bastard in the end.

    I'm looking forward to the updates, my dear. ^_^ Oh, yeah, I'm updating Breath of Sorrow again. Yay!
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  • From ANON - chayron on June 05, 2006
    At first, Goku was surprised, and then he laughed, “Ah, that’s the part I’ve been neglecting. It’s sort of like a physical command. If all it took were to think about someone strongly enough, then I’d be instantly transmitting every time I searched out a ki. I’ve trained myself to respond to the touching of my forehead: sort of like a trigger or button I guess. I don’t go until the trigger has been pulled.”

    Finally, finally some explanation why Goku puts his fingers on his forehead. I truly liked it! My earnest compliments!

    He didn’t have to wait long before he received an answer. “So, if I could manipulate a ball of my ki to be independent and sustainable for say…5 minutes, you’d be able to teleport to it?” [...] Goku scratched his head, thinking about it, “I don’t know. I suppose I could…I’ve just never tried it. What would happen if I were able to detect both you and the ki ball? I don’t know if I would be able to teleport at all, or even worse, I’d try to go in both directions, and be pulled apart in the process.”

    The imagination of this! Loved it, it’s a wonderful dwelling on the problem. I’m amazed by how you thought out the technical details and went through all the trouble while trying to make Goku look at the ki-ball. It’s great!

    So Vegeta has called Kakarott out? Tsk, tsk, tsk… O.o I smell trouble...

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  • From ANON - Camaro on June 03, 2006
    Terrific writing style. It's obvious you really took your time with this chapter and really put yourself into Vegeta's character. He's very indepth, almost to the point of making the reader feel uncomfortable with how much we can relate to his more.... masochistic desires.

    Yeah, that's a good way to word it. This story is very uncomfortable to read, really revealing to the reader, even about themselves.

    I like that Vegeta also thinks about Bulma, as rare as this is, understanding that he really is rather selfish, that he ought to be fucking grateful to have her... yet isn't completely.

    He really appeals to the more humane side of all of us, accepting our vanity and cruelty, yet continuing to strive towards them regardless.

    He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he lowered himself to anyone’s level in order to feed this neurotic craving. Especially not to someone he could kill in a heartbeat. Even the thought brought a bitter taste to his mouth.


    I liked this line... It really struck me as interesting, the length towards which we all strive for an equal. Especially at this point in my life, I understand the virtue of intelligence and strength in another person and know that without that, at least on a most basic level, they aren't worth the time it takes to waste breath on them. Vegeta grasps this as no other being does, an it is a cruel fate considering there are so few people in the galaxy that could match his strength either mentally or physically.

    So much to think about in this story. Truly, its a gem.

    Camaro
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  • From ANON - Robin on May 27, 2006
    Excellent story! Intriguing plot and very intense - cannot wait to read more.
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