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Reviews for Jaded

By : Robyn

From ANON - Webtester01 on April 02, 2007
I wonder what further repercussions will follow Goku's actions. Especially when he stole what he did. I look forward to more. :)
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From Katiefoolery on April 02, 2007
This has to be one of the most emotionally-engaging pieces I've read in a long time - and I mean that out of everything I read, both fanfic and published fic. I spent most of the first part of the chapter glued way too close to my monitor and I was so involved in it that I could all but feel the coldness of the rain towards the end. The whole chapter forms an amazing turning point for both of the characters and I'm looking forward to seeing the consequences of everything in the next chapter.
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From ANON - Irol on March 23, 2007
holy crap! is it just me? or did goku just kill vegeta?!?! wierdness!
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From Dragon7 on March 23, 2007
Great chapter!!!! I can�t wait to read the next chapter so please keep on writing and UPDATE SOON.

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From ANON - Anon on March 23, 2007
Ok...I'm back...and with a better review this time. Well...I loved the build up to this situation. I was very surprised that Vegeta was so nonchalant about the whole thing. It seemed very unlike the arrogant prince to just allow Goku to take him over...like he didn't know what to do anymore. I thought the whole thing was going to turn out safe and calm...but...I was wrong. The chain work and knife stuff was very surprising, mainly because it was plain old Goku doing it! The whole scene was pretty disturbing....and it made me so happy! This whole scenario really makes you see how messed up Vegeta is. His confusion is evident as he struggles with the control Goku has over him. And you really make Vegeta appear a confused, angsty character. And the sad part is that Goku is being sucked into his madness, too. The poor guy is going to turn into Frieza some day. I was also surprised by Goku's not wanting to stop when Vegeta told him to. The anxiety the prince must have been feeling is so intense. Would he stop, would he keep going? I wonder what would have happened if Goku didn't stop. Strangely, he really seemed to want to keep going. Goku is loosing himself and turning exactly into what Vegeta hypnotised him to be-Kakarotto.

I loved Goku's anger...and I loved his vicious way of leaving torment on Vegeta. Your details of pain and agony are amazing and it truly shows how freakin powerful Vegeta is. Ripping your hand through a knife would be quite painful I believe. Basically, everything that led up to the end was so disturbing and violent I had to run out into my dorm hallway and tell everyone about how amazing it was. Really...my brain is buzzing after this and people who don't even watch the show listened to me rant about the extreme awesomeness of this fanfiction. So...basically, Goku's anger toward Vegeta was so wonderfully written, I couldn't believe it. The end was so...ah! I can't get over it. Like I said earlier, it was abrupt and so...violent...and I read it about three times. And the thing that really gets me, is that Goku never wanted to do this. He didn't want Vegeta to hypnotise him and have control over him. He didn't want his Kakarotto side to kill Vegeta. And after this whole build up, this situation that was supposed to be purely discovery and release...turned out terribly. So terribly! This horrid death was just so well-written and so horrifying, one can actually feel Goku's panic. that moment of freezing numbess as he looked at Vegeta's lifeless body was so well-written and detailed that i will have to read it again and again. And the horrible sadness is that Goku volunteered to do this for Vegeta, so his Kakarotto side would not kill Vegeta. Yet it was Goku's harshness and saiyajin anger that ended up killing him anyway! How...horrible...and amazing...and you're a genius. So...this is such a great story and I really can't wait to see what happens next. i may die....just like Vegeta. Great great stuff!
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From VeggieSlave on March 23, 2007
Intense. Well-written.
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From ANON - Anon on March 23, 2007
Oh-oohhh.....my god....:0 This is just too amazing, too astounding....I want to scream and cry! I am so in shock right now..I don't even know if I can leave a proper review! This isn't over..right? I just have to say that this ending of this chapter is so abrupt and actually horrifying that I am totally left speechless. Wow...intense, insane, so awesome...so terrifying and violent. AH! I love it so much.
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From chibihoshi on March 07, 2007
I very much enjoyed this chapter, Macha. Love the parallels you set between Vegeta and the bonsai trees-that was very poignant, and yet, subtle at the same time. Perhaps Goku's time, love, and patience will allow our crooked little Saiyan Prince to grow straight again? And, as Bra pointed out, our prince is actually very young, and so perhaps will be acclimated to once again growing tall and strong without constant attention or assistance, or the need for a highly controlled environment. Again, I loved this chapter. Good work, as always, Macha!! *hugs*

~Hoshi
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From ANON - Anon on March 06, 2007
Wow...amazing chapter! I love how you can make simple dialogues and casual converstaions so entertaining and deep. "He had his own ideas about what meditation was supposed to entail, and something about this offended him�greatly." I really loved that line. Vegeta, the ruthless, cold-blooded killer truly does have a soft and easily hurt side to him, and I think the whole tree thing was amazingly written. I think this whole chapter was amazingly written and I love the relationship between Bra and Vegeta! So good. She's so cute and sweet, yet clever, smart, and curious, and I love that. The thing I really like about this whole story is how great of a dad Vegeta is to his daughter. He loves her, hugs her, and converses with her like a normal loving father. Then he runs into Goku and it's all suddenly back to the old, wild, seemingly out of control Vegeta that we're so used to. His drives are maddening and I love how you make him such a believable and round character. There truly are many different plots and character changes in this story and it makes me even more anxious to read future chapters and see how the characters develop, Vegeta especially. So...awesome chapter, great writings, I love it!
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From ANON - Irol on March 06, 2007
its good that vegeta seems to be showing more interest in bra's life. i did expect him to not allow her to pet his tail though, he's mellowed.
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From Katiefoolery on March 06, 2007
That was such a fascinating chapter - I think I need to read it again to pick up all the details I'm sure I missed the first time through.
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From ANON - Chloe on February 26, 2007
Just thought I'd stop by and leave a new and improved opinion.
I like it. =)
So nevermind whatever the hell it was I was grumbling about before, keep it up!
And this new tail should put an interesting spin on things. I'm very glad you've brought Vegeta back into the story, now we can look at their twisted "relationship" some more.
Hopefully you'll see fit to add another chapter sometime soon, I'll be looking forward to it.
^^
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From ANON - Anon on February 20, 2007
Wow...really nice chapter. I like how you look into Goten and Trunks's relationship. I like how we get to see Goku's lack of parenting and its affects on Goten. It really hasn't been fair that the boy hasn't had a father for most of his life and the show, as well as many fanfictions, tend to overlook that. Good thing Trunks is a good friend to him.

I LOVED the whole Bra/Vegeta relationship there. She...is SO cute...and you make her have her own special powers that make her such an interesting character. And Vegeta is so adorable with her. AWWWW! I loved the carrier that he puts on his back for her. I think his reactions to the unfamiliar warmth on his back is so...ah...I don't know, cute, sweet, and moving. Cute, insightful chapter. I love it.
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From ANON - Webtester01 on February 20, 2007
Chapter 6

This chapter is a nice change of scenery. The point of view really shows Vegeta's other side. Also I liked how we get to see the close friendship between Goten and Trunks.

I look forward to the next chapter. Great job to you and your beta. :)

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From ANON - Anon on February 06, 2007
Excellent! This chapter was so suspenseful. When Vegeta yelled out Repent, my heart almost leapt out of my chest! I'm interested in Vegeta's sudden change of attitude. His confusion toward the "goodness" he's feeling if very intriguing. I also loved how he wanted all the pain, as if he felt for guilty "disappointing" those around him. So much angst! And now he has his tail back! I'm very excited. I'l be anxiously awaiting the next chapter. :)
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