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Reviews for Jaded

By : Robyn
  • From ANON - Camaro on December 18, 2006
    Hey hey hey! I'm finally up and at em' again! SO glad I got to this. I have to say, your wording has only seemed to get better, the flow of sentences smooth and comfortable to read. I find that you really go with the tactic "less is more" when it comes to descriptions, leaving just enough that the reader can use their imagination where it's fitting.

    The content is... amazing. Very unique and such an interesting turn in events from where the story was last. I have to say, you have a talent for always impressing me when I read your stuff.

    The discussion of subs and doms was interesting to me since I've never explored the world of that fetish myself. The idea that really, in the end, subs are the ones in control, really took me off guard and I caught myself really thinking about a lot of the aspects in your story.

    Goku is... pleasantly himself, interestingly not at the same time. He's still somewhat clueless, he's still at heart a good and kind person, but you've made him your own.

    “You are more than just a dom to him. Only guessing from years and ages you’ve given me, this is more than just a fetish. It is a life circumstance, and you destroyed his master, leaving an empty void he didn’t know how to fill…until he decided you were capable of filling that role for him. Most likely, he hasn’t known any thing else.”

    This paragraph really stopped me in my tracks and I had to go back and reread it a couple times just to be sure I got the basic idea of it. It's really insightful Macha. You've really taken the simple points of DBZ and dissected them into amazing amounts of information we've never even thought of!

    Awesome job so far!

    Camaro

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  • From ANON - Chibi Hoshi on December 17, 2006
    Holy SHIT, Macha! When do I get more of THAT luciousness?? *wipes the drool off her chin* You teased me as much as that dom teased poor Goku, and then you left us hanging! Evil Woman!! Write more, SOON!! *brandishes Spork*
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  • From xerosky on December 14, 2006
    “How could I have?,” he exclaimed, frustrated. He didn’t even know what he would have done if he had known. “I thought we were sparring. I thought I was straight.”

    I love this. I love the way the discussion is woven into the scene. I love that Goku doesn't understand what's going on and is going through the most hands-on way possible to find out; Gohan, for instance, would probably be up all night on the internet, looking up BDSM and psychology. *grins* I love that he's still giving Vegeta what he needs, even though it's still a mystery to him.

    And I absolutely LOVE that you took the time to explain how Goku could feel any kind of pain in that situation, given how tough he is. Assuming that our mystery professional is human, there's no way he could inflict any kind of damage Goku didn't agree to, but so many ficcers seem to forget little details like that; it totally kills a scene when that happens!

    It looks like Vegeta needs retraining, if he and Goku are to continue their relationship. I wonder what Vegeta will think of that? He's apparently the pushiest sub in existence!

    I can't wait for more of this!
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  • From ANON - SonSofia on December 14, 2006
    Holy shit, this chapter is SMOKING! I didn't think you'd make with a sequel, but I sure am gald you did. Wow, I love your writing, you're one of the best. Oh...I can't wait to see what Goku does next, please update as soon as possible!
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  • From on December 13, 2006
    That last part was just wonderful XD
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  • From Katiefoolery on December 13, 2006
    This is fascinating so far. I like the way you're really getting into the characters and examining what makes them tick in all kinds of situations.
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  • From ANON - Vegetachik7 on December 13, 2006
    Oooo...what an infomative first chapter. I loved Spiral and I can tell I'm going to love this one, too. The fact that Goku is going through this to better understand Vegeta truly shows the bond they have. He doesn't want to hurt the prince, but is a great enough friend to go to these limits to please the confused Vegeta. I loved all the details...and all the perfect explanations of the sub/dom relationship...quite educational! ^__^ I am very excited to see what will happen next...because this is really really great.
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