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Reviews for In Your Dreams

By : CrimsonTide

From XxChiChixX on April 07, 2008
That was incredible. *�* VERY nicely done.

Everything you described.. from the way they started making out against the wall, to how the clothes gradually came off and the mirror scene...it all flowed perfectly all the way to the end! X3

I'm really looking forward to what happens next. They're bonded: what now? Hehe.

Unfortunately, even if I wanted to draw doodles for this chapter, I couldn't post them on DA, obviously. :D But on April 26th, my ban from Y1gallery SHOULD be over with and I'll be able to post lots of good stuff on that website! ^^

... I have to read this again. XD CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT UPDATE!!
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From ANON - Abel on April 03, 2008
Chapter 25
Aw- Hell no!
I don't want Vegeta ta' separate from Goku.
that probably isn't whats going ta happen but n' any
case it is makin' me nervous.
fantastic story girl- don't stop goin' it's got
me to hooked to have it stop.

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From ANON - Chuquita on April 03, 2008
Well I'm glad Bulma was able to explain things out; Vegeta jumps to conclusions way too quickly. XD
Poor Goku though, I hope he'll feel better, though I don't know how he's going to react to Vegeta once he wakes up. O_O
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From Zofo on April 02, 2008
Oh 2 new chapters, wonderful.

Really like the explanation that Bulma came up with, made a lot of sense.

Vegeta's temper finally got the better of him, he was doing so well, but I guess the sense of betrayal was too much for him to to control. How can he think of letting Goku go though, after the conversation with Bulma, doesn't he realise how much pain that would cause him especially in his weakened state.

Poor Goku, hasn't he suffered enough *snuggles Goku*. All he needs is his prince.
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From VChan on April 02, 2008
The Story is going well so far. I think the only thing that bothers me is that Goku is a little more out of character than I would have liked. Over all, I am enjoying where the story is going. The idea is original and fresh. Keep up the good work.
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From Gnome on April 02, 2008
�third class science experiment�

�a date with his toothbrush�

I adore your word choice in these two moments.

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From ANON - saiyajinxyz on April 01, 2008
Ah! Two new chapters. You made my day! And so much angst and emotion. I was thinking things were going to be going smoother between the two of them, but I see quite a few major roadblocks have come in the way. I feel badly for both of them. Vegeta, being emotionally retarded, as you say, and Goku feeling rejected and hurt in such a personal way. I hope they work things out. They need each other, that much is clear. And I have a feeling, since Goku has had such a tempering on Vegeta's more ostentatious character traits, that when they finally form a committed, bonded relationship, those things that Vegeta fears about himself (his possessiveness, jealousy, etc.) will be reduced considerably.
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From Azmidia on April 01, 2008
Great story, I just love it. One of your best I'd say. It's Cute, comedic, angsty, hot and exciting all rolled into one, and weirdly enough everyone seems incharacter. Also love your speedy updates! Excellent work!
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From ANON - Simone on April 01, 2008
Oh no! What did you do?!
Poor Saiyans ... *sniff* ... having to suffer so much because of a cruel author ... *sniff* ...
The last chapters it really looked like they would be happy now, but nooooo ... quite frustrating, I can tell you.
Well, keeps up the tension (is this the rigth word to use) ... whatever, what I wanted to express is that every week I'm looking forward to tuesday morning - first thing I do at work is check at aff.net to read your new chapter *g* ... evil me *g*

Well, I hope you don't let our babies suffer for too much longer ... and ... most important point of all: When will there be sex?!!

Oh, I know I'm rotten to the core. *gg*
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From XxChiChixX on April 01, 2008
Thank you so much for posting that second chapter. I was personally reaaaalllllyy hoping that you would do what you did last week and keep going after I read 24 before I had dinner. XD And you did! Love you, love you, love you~~

Goku's poor little heart! D: I literally lurched when I read that scene. It really caught me off guard, although, considering everything he'd been through, it made sense.

I can't believe their partly bonded--and that Vegeta's going to try to break that bond! O_O He's going to kill Goku! Ever since he came back from Villa's lab, Goku's been spiritually leashed to the man. If they're not lovers, I see Goku looking up to Vegeta as a big brother, maybe even father--the role of his protector and guardian, ya know? Vegeta can't let him go!

You always manage to sneak at least one line that makes me burst out into laughter when I read it and this time it was the line about Vegeta's 'Emotional Retardation'. XD Amazing!

I don't know if I'll have any doodles for this part just because I have some other drawings I'm working on right now butttt...don't put it past me, I may get a couple scribbles down if I really have to. >>; I have Goku's heart attack scene replaying in my head over and over...it wants to be drawn..but we'll see.

Keep updating! I want more story! More, more, more, more! -:: Bounces up and down like a little girl listening to her bedtime fairytale. ::-

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From Tyrana on March 31, 2008
Man, it�s been forever since I last reviewed, it�s going to take me a while to keep my comments up to date. ^^;;

Chapter 16:

First, I have a question. You said they won�t be allowed to use again the dragon balls. What about the Namekian balls? Would they be able to use them to return Goku to his former shape or are you going to leave him in this new body/age? I particularly would prefer him in this younger body. I think this form incite further the sense of protectiveness on Vegeta, which to me is a rather appealing trait. But I will like whatever your choice about this is, I�m just curious about it lol

Anyway, this chapter is full of wonderful details I�ve so enjoyed. The edgy Goku at the beginning was priceless. I could not stop smiling when I read the bit about Vegeta thinking over how their children would look like, and the same when they woke up the morning after, the way they act so relaxed and comfortable around each other, like a real couple enjoying their time together, the way they care for each other, Goku�s empathy, all worried about Vegeta�s pain and his need to alliviate the other man (the massage as so great! ) and Vegeta�s need to protect Goku. It�s like as if when they are together, just for a moment they got to forget the ordeal they are going through,. Thanks for giving us this delightful glimpse about how their day-to-day relationship will be; sweet touch. Until the irruption of the obnoxious Villa and then all of a sudden the cruel reality strikes, and he angst returns, I like how you take us through this rollercoaster of emotions.

I�m totally impressed with the way you described all the process of the heat, the physical changes of Goku, the mixed emotions as Vegeta�s sense of guilt and his growing desire, and Goku�s despair at his hard but fruitless fight against it and at the frightening prospect to -maybe-lose Vegeta�s friendship when all is over. And the best of it all is the way Vegeta behaved through it, just tending to Goku�s welfare, just thinking of what the other needed, forgetting his own needs. And how he cleaned him after. As much as I love the wicked and bastard side of Vegeta, this chivalry, this gentleness he shows around Goku is simply delicious. You really thought about all the implications of this situation and handled all perfectly. Top notch work.

The sex was so full of angst and so hot all in one, ahaha after this I cannot wait for the good one when all is over ^.^
Vegeta is so resourceful, the tail thing was just incredible. Saiyan tails can be employed in very kinky ways but it�s something you rarely see in a story, which is a pity. So thank you, thank you, thank you for this.

Sorry again for my lateness in reviewing. I just have very few time for myself and employed most of it on working on my fic because I�m so slow I would never end, so that�s why I so rarely read anything as of late Damn how I envy how fast you can write.
(BTW, I have to post this on the club, but this chapter can�t go on DA -damn stupid rules- it�s OK with you if I skip this one and post from chapter 17? I could link to this one on the club�s journal . ) ^^;

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From ANON - darkserapha on March 29, 2008
Mhh.. okay, this is what I call serious wooing. But.. um.. *sweatdrops* This may sound strange, but can we get some more angst, too? *is an uncurable angst-addict* Please, don't hit me!
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From Gnome on March 29, 2008
You know I've never been comfortable with this pairing. But don't worry; this isn't going to be one of those 'you can't write about this' or 'this would never happen' reviews. Instead I want to congratulate you. Because between you, your story and the situations presented in it you have made this pairing work. I have followed your story for a little while now and been pleasantly surprised. This chapter (23) in particular made me laugh out loud.

The biting for one. This line:

�Eight bruises, four head wounds, ten volley balls, and one Namekian later��

was hilarious.

And yet though there was humour, there was also feeling. The ending of chapter 23 was a culmination yet also a beginning that composed many more questions.

I think the later chapters are better quality as far as the writing is concerned, but that is only natural. You have grown as a writer as the story has progressed. Perhaps one day you might consider returning to the beginning for some revising and rewriting.

I also wanted to mention head-hopping. For the most part you choose one POV for a scene and stick with it. There are however, instances in which you use two POVs within one scene without a scene break to signify this change. The rubber ring scene in chapter 22 is an example of this. The majority of the scene is from Vegeta�s POV, but there is an instance where Goku worries about others seeing this display. I don�t think you need to go back and change these instances throughout the story; I just wanted to make you aware that you were doing it. It can be harder for a reader to follow several POV in a scene, as it�s hard to conceive of leaping from one head to another. Hence the term head-hopping. It can be frowned upon should you ever consider submitting work for publication. In your case I�ll admit I found the hopping fairly smooth, as the characters are so familiar.

There is of course omniscient POV, which is an all-knowing narrator who tends to have his or her own POV as well as being able to invade those of others. However, I would pin your story more as a third person limited.

I hope this was helpful. I don�t review often because I like to have something useful to say.

Keep up the good work. I look forward to the next chapter.

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From ANON - Chuquita on March 28, 2008
YES! I finally caught up! X3
The last two times I tried to visit, AFF was down. The entire thing with Goku and Vegeta getting colds was hilarious; and Goku giving him the cough syrup just to shut him up. XD That stuff really does knock you out fast.

I really am enjoying the beach scenes (especially as outside its still barely in the 50's) and I loved the whole idea of Vegeta getting Goku drunk and Goku not being able to hold the alcohol. The water-ride part was fun to read. :3

I have this favorite'd on FireFox so I don't miss any future updates like I did last time. Wonderful story, I can't wait for more.
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From saiyajinxyz on March 28, 2008
I think he'll have a bad hangover too. The first time you get drunk is the worst. But I liked how you threaded his drunkenness in with revealing certain thoughts about his relationship with Vegeta, which would have been more uncomfortable if not impossible to reveal under normal circumstances. And the whole beach scene with the water fight and violent volley ball match were hilarious.
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