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Reviews for The Broken Road

By : Tru6768

From Robyn on January 22, 2010
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I couldn't have asked for a better chapter. Goku's alive, things are resolving. Gohan's happy. Yep. Is there more or was this the last chapter? I could be happy either way. I can still hear ocean waves and palm leaves in the background while writing this comment.
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From marccram on January 22, 2010
You're right. I do want to kill you! Especially because I sense a conclusion on the horizon... I don't want it to end. D:

Grats on finally finishing and bringing me out of the deep abyss of apathy. Maybe I'll get there some day, too.
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From ANON - The Drooj on December 20, 2009
A lovely story but your OCs somewhat detract from an otherwise fine piece of narrative. Still better than 99 percent of everthing else on this site and in any case you do have some great talent when it comes to pacing and copy editing. As far as slash fanfiction goes I would rate your story a great success and I look foreward to reading your future stories.
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From AwesomeIncarnate on December 12, 2009
Okay, I suppose that, having now read it for the third time, I could probably stop being a lazy ass and review.

First and foremost: You have a fantastic writing style. The narrative 'voice' is wonderfully done, lending that much more thrill to the reading. When you switch between character points of view, it's quite seamless, because I can tell, just from the way something worded, that now we're looking at Gohan, or Trunks, or anyone, actually.

Which brings me to point number two: Characterization. Everyone is spot on, the characters clearly recognizable from the source, and added onto in a believable way, so that it makes sense that, yes, I can see how the differences from the original DBZ are realistic in context of the fact that these people have grown up and had lives, and so on.

On to point number three, which builds off of the above: The relationships are so well crafted, every single interaction is intriguing. And I'm not just referring to the ones with the sex in them, lol. Goten's relationship with his father, for example, has got me on edge, wondering what's going to transpire, as well as Vegeta's with Trunks, and... well, actually all of them. That adds up the make the conflict all the more real, because I can understand the characters, plus you've gone and made me care about them. Damn you.

Now. I know it's Trunks and Gohan. I know that. But I must confess, I've been hoping that he'll get back together with Goten the whole time. Because, and I know I'm sort of repeating myself, but I love the way you've told their story so much that I just can't help but feel sorry for them. Basically, I love Gohan, but not as much as I love Goten and Trunks. They're both so fucked-up without each other, I just want them to work it out and put it all back together. The flashbacks in Chapter 15 did a lot to shed light on their relationship, making me even more hopelessly in love with them.

Which is why Chapter 16 made me jump (literally) for joy the first time I read it. There's hope, I told myself, allowing my desires to cloud logic for just a moment. It's possible! (Again, I know. Trunks and Gohan. I like my little world of denial, thank you. I will continue to live there as long as possible.)

And incidentally, although it has no bearing on anything, I think you should know that I burst into fucking tears when I read Chapter 13. Once near the start of the chapter, when I saw what was coming (Goten, why did you have to come THAT morning!) and then again at the end. Oh, and then again the other two times I read it. Thanks a lot.

Anyway, so. Laziness over. Keep up the good work. And I really don't want to be one of those annoying people who asks for you to write faster, that being impossible, but...you know. I really don't want to have to reread the whole thing again (in one day, no less) in order to get my fix here. Please?

Awesomeincarnate
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From ANON - Rayne on November 29, 2009
Oh, this fic is most precious, haha. To be honest, I had been putting off this story for a while, simply because I wasn't in the mood for present Trunks and Gohan together for the moment (I've been extremely partial to the future wonderboy recently). I had read the first chapter a while ago and was thoroughly impressed with your skill. So I put it aside and said I would come back to it later...but then, you know, life and everything. Also, I forgot. ^-^ Anyway, now that I've put off a few papers and whatnot to finish this, I can say sincerely that this is possibly one of the most enjoyable fics I've read in a very, very long time. Your attention to detail is what gets me the most. You seem informed about pretty much all aspects of your story, and I'm always impressed by that. The plot flowed by nicely, and nothing ever seemed rushed, but I never really seemed to get bored either. The way you've developed each main character is great; I can see Trunks's growth clearly, and even Goten's growth, while subtle, is still well-implied. Actually, the troubled, over-worked Gohan has been my favorite character this entire time, and I'm totally a Trunks fan, haha! While reading, I was so...engrossed in the story. Their stress became my stress; I could feel what they felt. *nods* I love that in a story. Now, I can't wait for an update, because I'm pretty sure there's another one of these coming (*insert motivating Vegeta threat here*). Did Goku IT back to Earth and leave the little pumpkins to work out their problems? Because that would be just fantastic, haaa. =D I mean, really, the whole ship can't just...suck so completely, all of a sudden, without somebody having tampered with it. Bulma, I see you. ^o^

Oh, and lol @ venture capital project. I virtually high-five you on your awesomeness. Good luck on your report.
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From nivell on October 28, 2009
Aww, how I was hoping that Gohan and Goten could share Trunks...lol, when Goten suggested that Trunks bunks with Goku and make it a trifecta, I almost died laughing. If only that happened!
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From ANON - Camui on October 26, 2009
D'awww. What a sappy sweet totally appropriate ending to that chapter. Only, I'd be a little more concerned about where Goku went, tbh.

... My reviews aren't schizophrenic. They're... full of personality! (lots of them) O_o;; *coughs*

Anyway, I always wander over to the DBZ section and am like "I know I'm looking for something...", cuz you know, you don't update all that frequently (that's not a complaint, I'd rather you update when everything's all perfect and dandy) so when I finally see your story I'm like "OH YEAH. *click*"

Uhhh. Anyway. Goten is, in my predictions, gonna become a bit supportive of our dear Trunks and his infatuation with Gohan. Maybe. Maybe? Perhaps. Uhhhhh?? I totally lost my train of thought.

I'm flattered you look forward to my reviews though, that pleases me :D Happy writing~~~

♥
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From TheAngryBuddha on October 26, 2009
It's about time that Goten and Trunks decided to rid themselves of their individual baggages and fix their rift once and for all. I really like the fact that it was Trunks who took the initiative; it shows that he has matured over the course of the story. It's almost as though he's slowly becoming his future counterpart (though he still has waaayyyys to go before attaining that level of maturity :p).

Where, oh where is Goku? Like his television counterpart, now you see him, now you don't :p.

What's up with Trunks's defeatist behavior where Gohan is concerned? For the love of everything that's yaoi and smut, he needs to grow some and continue the battle!

Update soon, you must :p.

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From ANON - Krissy on October 17, 2009
So, yeah! Goten and Trunks are just friends now? That's good!!

Alright, so, I read this entire story last night (all sixteen chapters) and I didn't get the chance to review because I really needed to go to bed. So I decided to put it off until tonight! Let me tell you, this story is one of the best DBZ fics I've ever read. It's so paralyzing, really!! I've felt so many freakin' emotions, much love and confusion and anger and trust and hurt! It's amazing beyond belief because it seems so real-like, though the Z fighters are anything but. THIS is how I pictured Gohan would end up, not like the way Toriyama decided to push him. Gohan is my absolute favorite character in DBZ and I love that you really captured the essence of the real Gohan. I know Gohan would be firm and fatherly, but in a way that was endearing and sexy. I pictured him humorous and calm and everything you've made him and for that I am so grateful!!! Finally, a soul who understands! TAT

Trunks, given his spoiled circumstances came out great as well! It was weird how Toriyama showed Trunks being completely spoiled as a child, but when GT came around, he was more like Mirai Trunks without any explanation. I like the progression that you showed in Trunk's personality. It was a great growth. I think Gohan made him understand. Gohan IS very self-sacrificing, like his Dad. Whom, btw, I hope is alright. Ya know, no hurt in the explosion? Or maybe he did that on purpose too...

Anywahoo, God, I feel so bad for Gohan!! He just needs love because he never really got the correct kind of love! He was always giving the love...

Please, PLEASE update soon! And when you do, could you e-mail me at shitake_shroomz@yahoo.com?

LOTS of love,
Krissy
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From glasseyeviolet on October 12, 2009
This chapter is too sweet for words. I especially love the tender moment between Goten and Trunks. And yes...The food part with Goku made me giggle XD.

I hope you update soon ^^
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From Lunamaru on October 10, 2009
Nooooo, where'd Goku go?!?!?!?! That's all I could think of when Goten and Trunks were having their epic moment XD Yeah, I love Goku XD
Awww, the always self-sacrificing Gohan. Poor baby *pets him*. Really liked his scene, though, and Goku playing a part in the "mission" was cute. XD
Oh and though I'm a Soncest fan, I'm also a lover of fatherson bonding XD I'm just usually more yaoi-oriented XDDDD I just like Goku and Gohan in the same room kind of thing, 'cause they have such a complex relationship. I mean, Gohan could have been depressed, or angry with Goku for dying and leaving him fatherless, but he took it in stride, and grew from it. D'awww... Anyway, done ranting XD
But seriously....Trunks... I ADORE him. XD I love how you do Gohan's reactions too, they are very... conscious and restrained. Of all the emotions I want to see of Gohan, I think sadness or anger is top right now XD I can't believe how much Trunks has grown up too, he just radiates responsibility! Him saying that he and Gohan will never be together again kind of illustrates how he's accepted how Gohan feels about their relationship affecting his baby brother, and it leaves me feeling all warm and fuzzy XDDDDD SO THANK YOU! You are an amazing writer, oh and thanks for reading my stories XDDD
Much love and luck,
oh, and UPDATE SOON PLEASE
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From Robyn on October 09, 2009
O.o Feeling a little lost here - I guess it has been a while since this was updated.

So, you found a reasonable way to get Goten and Trunks speaking again.

Now I'm concerned for Goku! What'd you do with him? Huh?

YAY! And update! :D Looking forward to more.
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From marccram on October 09, 2009
RE: Ch. 16

Amazing. "You know you can use your energy as a shield?"

One of the things I love most about your writing is how you pull seemingly innocuous sentences like this from previous chapters and turn them into significant plot devices. It gives a really holistic feeling of completeness to the whole story that I can only dream of replicating.

You know what? There's not a damned thing I'd change about this. I'm really not saying that just because this gave you trouble. Another thing that sets these chapters of yours apart is that when I get to the end I don't have any sort of list of things I didn't like that have room for improvement because I'm too absorbed in the plights and plots of the characters. Congratulations, you've made Goten a ~sympathetic~ character for me. :P

Simply perfect. You ought to have made it abysmal because now I'm going to harass you for 17.
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From MoonFace on October 08, 2009
Sequel!!! Wow can't wait!!!!:D I absolutely love this story....actually I think I'm a official addict haha gotta love the Gohan and Trunks drama ;)
I'm so glad your using my Ibiza suggestion (: can't wait for the drunken fun ;) oh right I didn't realise that :P now that I think about it I'd probably think he's nuts too if I were Kim :P
Enough of my rambling lets get on to the review......

I didn't think I would but I actually liked the Goten and Trunks reunion (reunited and it feels so good....lol ignore my bad attempt at singing) because it really put things back in to perspective for both of them and they resolved their issues with eachother which was nice to see considering all the previous chapters were full of angst lol. I hope Goten gets to make up with his father considering he never really got the chance to know him as well as the other Z members did.
All in all wonderful chapter (:
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From ANON - Tisha on September 22, 2009

So ive had really bad luck the last few weeks and nothing would make me happier then you updateing.
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