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Reviews for The Broken Road

By : Tru6768

From catgirl26 on July 12, 2009
I'm loving the interaction between Gohan and Trunks. I especially loved Trunks' realization about his childhood crush/hero worship of Gohan. Adds kind of an interesting twist to the relationship. Also, watching Gohan flounder at all of Trunks' double entendres is endlessly amusing.
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From catgirl26 on July 11, 2009
Very good first chapter! I liked the promise of what's to come between Gohan and Trunks. Not too obvious, but the hints are there. Can't wait to read more!
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From glasseyeviolet on July 11, 2009
Wow, this chapter had so many emotions going on it was
fantastic. Again the Father and Son deal with Trunks and Vegeta
is just too sweet. I really like how you portray Vegeta differently
around people, especially at this moment of time when his son needs him.

I also feel bad for Goten and Goku's relationship. Poor Goku can
be oblivious at times, and I like the fact that you make him aware
but yet not able to say what he needs to say.

Absolutly wonderful, I cannot wait for the next chapter.
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From inuyoukaigirl1984 on July 11, 2009
Tender moment!!!! *cries* I never thought I'd see the day when a moment between Vegeta and Trunks would be written. I'm sure that it has been before, but I have never read one!! That it was in this story is just the whipped cream on my frappacino! Vegeta is a wonderful father. Part of me wants to laugh and giggle and another part wants to cry at the sentimentality of it. It's so wonderful. Once again, a great chapter. I love your style of writing. It's very fluid and smoothe. So enjoyable!! I can't wait to read the next chapter. And as much as I want Trunks and Goten to be friends again, I would like the relationship between Gohan and Trunks to develop more. They make such a cute couple. Could have something to do with the fact that I'm not much of a Goten fan. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that he does look so much like Goku, and I'm not much of a Goku fan. Vegeta all the way for me!!
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From Robyn on July 11, 2009
Well, this was quite the roller coaster.

I guess Gohan would consider the Lookout to be a good refuge. He's lucky he can go there and be welcome any time.

I noticed how Goku didn't answer Goten's direct question. Wonder if he ever will. At least Goten was able to tell Goku what he was thinking/how he felt.

The dream sequence in the tank was nice. Good way to get background information to the reader. :)

You're Bulma is IC. :P

Vegeta....interesting how he's analyzed and come up with this to say to Trunks. He has changed over the years.

Now to ponder what demi it is he's seeking.

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From MoonFace on July 11, 2009
I think towards the end made me sad considering the beginning was rather fluffy and not as awkward as I thought it would be. As for Goten I would feel sorry for him but I can't manage it XP probably because in some ways he brought this all upon himself even if that doesn't sound logical lol.
To be honest I think Trunks should just go for holiday....get away from the drama lmao but I know realistically he has to explain his actions to both Goten and Gohan.

Cynergy
x
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From ANON - avril27 on July 10, 2009
I love this story the more I read it! The flashbacks really show the friendship Trunks and Goten had but how it became more. Goten needs talk to Goku about how he felt abandoned so he could save the world(the snotty comment really hurt poor Goku). I like Vegeta in this story so must (I know you were gay before you born. LOL) I hope Gohan and Trunks are together when the story end. The have a lot of baggage to work though.
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From IuvenesL on July 10, 2009
Okay, now for a real review. :D

Chapter 1 - I think what I like most about this chapter is the way you portrayed Trunks. In most fics, the Goten-Trunks angst comes from the fact that Goten is dependent on Trunks while Trunks is not dependent on Goten (or is to a lesser extent). And I can see how the canon would lead some to that conclusion, because Trunks does seem to be a bit more independent than Goten, because he's the leader. But in reality, that doesn't make Trunks any more independent than Goten, because in the end, they're both peerless. They are the only people in the world like them, not counting their fathers and Gohan (and the whole time they were kids, the age gap was enough to put Gohan in an entirely different league). Trunks was more confident than Goten as a kid, and probably remained so as they became adults, but I think that your Trunks, willing to sacrifice his education to be with Goten, is much more believable than a Trunks who all of a sudden decides that Goten isn't what he wants. Unless, of course, you're of the mindset that all is at it seems and Trunks is not gay (yeah right), or if you're going the denial route. But Goten has much more reason to be insecure in their relationship than Trunks does (not least the way Trunks runs a bit roughshod over him). Also, even though you make it seem as though Goten's insecurities might be curable in this chapter (since, as Trunks points out later, he could have said something then if he knew he wanted to break things off), it's easy to see how Trunks's (thanks marc) decision would be another weight on Goten's shoulders that led him to finally do something about his insecurities.

Also, even though I admit I have a thing for a seriously oddball Gohan (which yours is decidedly not), I really like the way you write him (it's honestly more IC than oddball Gohan - oddball Gohan is just supported by his fucked up childhood and his Super Saiyaman crap, which I just now realized you have not even mentioned once - don't blame you! - but beyond that Gohan is a fairly normal and nice guy, and he does have a sense of humor)....and I love that you started the flirting in this chapter. :D And it's an awkward and unintended flirting, because Gohan still sees Trunks as a kid. But he's a grown up kid now (old enough to be checking out Gohan's ass!) and the dynamic between them in that short scene, while innocent enough, is really nice. ;)

Chapter 2 - And of course all of the things I mentioned continue in this chapter. Gohan sees them as kids still, and Goten is relaxing for the moment, still able to forget about his insecurities most of the time. The flirting steps up again, still relatively innocent. Trunks blows off Tiffany and Kim, not the slightest bit interested in them (why would he be?). Gohan faking Vegeta was my favorite bit, though. :)

Also - yay for seme Goten! lol...NO ONE writes him that way all the time (at least, not that I have ever seen), and I don't think I would like it if anyone did, but at least you managed it to where the only Truten lemon was Goten's turn to be on top, and I love that we get his point of view during the sex, and that you chose that moment to unveil the details of his insecurities. In any other context, they might have seemed more childish. :)

And finally, I like that you write them as having experimented from an early age. I find most of the Trunks/Goten 'first time' fics to be a bit on the unbelievable side, just because every kid experiments sexually, and I'd guess many do it at a VERY young age (playing doctor, or whatever), so it's difficult to imagine Trunks and Goten making it even to puberty without having gone there in some way or another. Is it just me? Cause my first sexual experimenting that I can recall was at about age 5 or so, and I can recall several more incidents before puberty, with a bunch of different kids (male and female, though I turned out pretty much straight), but who the hell else are Goten and Trunks going to experiment with?

Chapter 3 - I love the way Trunks is completely and totally secure about letting everyone know (even if they thought he was joking) that Goten had worn his ass out the night before. Again, that confidence is more IC to me than the idea that Trunks would be worried about his image (which is what I see in a lot of fics). Trunks is a trendsetter, so why would he care?

Also, the binge in the bar was a really appropriate way to express the depth of feeling that Trunks has for Goten. And Trunks taking care of the hoodlums was a nice touch - I hate it when authors seem to forget altogether that the fighting is part of what makes DBZ awesome. It might have been plot device just to get Trunks to OD properly, but at least it was a creative way to accomplish that.

Chapter 4 - Yay for more innocent and accidental flirting! :D And then the not-so-innocent flirting on Trunks's part... And yay for Gohan staying home to take care of Trunks, keeping a lid on it, and having a not-so-generous reason for doing so. Details like this matter!

Also, yay for training and Gohan kicking Trunks's ass! "...Gohan...you're making it so hard!" lmao... but really... I'm not so sure Saiyan armor would do much to protect Trunks from a ki blast, lol. Unless it's super-improved Saiyan armor? Super-weak blast?

Chapter 5 - The best bit here (besides making fun of the dumb girl) is how you emphasize again how much difficulty Goten is having to tear himself away from Trunks. How he's not doing it because he wants to, but because he feels like he has no choice. Like he said "now or never" in chapter 2, he knows that if he goes inside, he'll lose his resolve. I haven't read your pages of reviews, but judging from the comments, more people feel sorry for Trunks than for Goten? Sympathy for Trunks is understandable, certainly, but it's hard not to sympathize with your Goten. I really hope you do something nice for him later down the Road. :p

Also, I like that Gohan gets to see the depth of feeling that Trunks has for Goten. It does seem sort of odd that he misinterpreted what he saw, though, and didn't think he needed to ask questions. But I suppose that was necessary for the angst later on...

Chapter 6 - What is up with WCU's outdated registration system? They need online registrar! lol...but you depicted the average freshman class pretty well. I'm a music major, and we tend to put off core classes later than most majors, so I was sitting in both required comp classes last summer, thinking similar thoughts. :D "It seemed that, as he had a basic grasp of language and grammar, he was already far ahead of the curve." -- indeed!

Trunks has the adoration of everyone, but he only wants the adoration of Goten. Perfect! I hate shopping, but I luv Saiyans in hot clothes! And I will love you forever if you make Goku wear something sexy instead of his orange gi! Even jeans will do! Also, I love Gohan's casual acceptance of Trunks's arrogant words as simple truth. :)

Chapter 7 - And now our first clue that Kim has more brains than Tiffany!

I was really hoping Trunks would strip Goten down in the schoolyard. But alas, no naked Saiyans in this chapter...and no spooning either. :( I love Bulma's thoughts about Vegeta. Who WOULD trade that for the world? lol...

Chapter 8 - Yay for Vegeta the maniacal, sadistic father! I can't believe he let it go so long...

I love Gohan's rejection of Trunks's gift, something Goten didn't seem capable of. Or maybe Gohan was just having visions of Trunks getting pissed at him while he was wearing it? *sigh* Another naked Saiyan opportunity wasted...

I wonder about Goku's meaningful look. Maybe he and Chichi have had the Vegeta conversation before? :D

And yay for Trunks being a little slut! And his cheesy seduction lines! lol...they're funny enough when he's joking...even funnier when he's being serious!

Chapter 9 - lol..."daddy didn't hug me enough" - perfect! Also, the dance in the kitchen was nice. ;)

Chapter 10 - wtf kind of girl would resent a Saiyan in her bed at 3am?? And yay for quickening pulses!

Chapter 11 - Two awesome things in this chapter (besides the end):

1) - the wrong hole! hehehe

2) - �If you must know, Gohan,� he admitted quietly, �the only time I feel truly alive is when I�m doubled over at his feet, gasping for air and choking on my own blood.� Trunks closed his eyes and leaned his head back. �Father. He knows how to make it hurt so good.� --- haaahahahahaha, oh wait that's hot...

Oh, and squeeeeeeeee for the first kiss, and more cheesy pick-up lines from Trunks! Nevermind...just squee for the kissing. :p

Chapter 12 - squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Fucking, finally! jeez...and yay for the satisfaction of my cum fetish, lol. And come-on-demand. I've always been fond of that one.

Also, I like fics where someone other than Goku learns instant transmission. :)

Chapter 13 - ahhhhhh, angst! See, if you were into Sex That Destroys Stuff, Trunks would have had a better reason to give Goten as to why he went to Gohan when he got dumped. :D But then, that would make Goten's decision a bit irrational...

Yay for flirting purebloods! Oh, and "Really, Trunks, both of them?" lol...too bad that's not what he actually meant...

Chapter 14 - Boo for homophobic Vegeta! Oh wait! That means he's really gay and in denial! :D Yay for sensitive, caring father Vegeta! *wonders which demi he's visiting* Probably Gohan...

Okay, I'm done now. Looking forward to the next chapter. :D

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From ANON - Jocelyn on July 10, 2009
Oh lovely! I love how you described Goku as almost sociopathic in his indifference. When I would watch the anime I would always notice that no matter how dramatic a moment, and despite how jovial Goku always was, nothing could really shake him to his core, whether it be in a good way or bad way. So to see you touch on that with Goten's estrangement from his father was really satisfying to read!

Flashbacks always make me nervous because I've sensed in other stories I've read that they were a device to camouflage the fact that the author wasn't quite sure how to move forward with the story. But I didn't see that here, so well done.

At this point, I'm getting a sense that Goten realizes he doesn't have to sacrifice his identity to be in love with Trunks. Despite all the talk and thoughts focused on Goten/Trunks, I still think Trunks is beginning to understand that Gohan is the person for him.

Both are growing up and becoming more mature. But I think Trunks is growing more quickly.

And I have to throw in some love for Vegeta. I love the way you write him in this story. He is so much more satisfying to read when he isn't typically written as the heartless father. It's also a pleasant change to see that Vegeta and Bulma's relationship is not dysfunctional. I can't tell you how many Trunks/Goten or Gohan/Trunks stories are written where they throw in Goku/Vegeta just for the heck of it and turn Bulma into a b**** for plot purposes.

Ok, done. I cannot WAIT to see how this resolves :)

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From IuvenesL on July 10, 2009
*glomps*

Poor Trunks, isn't going to get any for a while is he? :(
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From ANON - Tisha. on July 09, 2009
... Gohan! Thats who I want him to be with. That would not be an easy desision to make. I love your writeing. Im counting the days to the next update. Hummmm goten is confuseing and selfish. Then again so is trunks. WItch is why I think you will put them together in the end. Gohan is too selfless... Hehe. Imma stop type.

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From ANON - Tisha on June 28, 2009
Im going to cry if you don't update soon. This story has been haunting my dreams!
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From LadyWolf on June 10, 2009
That was one HUGE Fan with a whole lotta shit! I just want to pimp smack all three of them!!! Geez I swear it's like watching dumb and dumber...and stupid! Why didn't Gohan just faint??? huh? He should have known that trunks wouldn't just sleep with him just to get back at Goten, yea he is a little prick most of the time, but he wouldn't do something like that....

Goten's just a little bitch.... and I quote,,,,"Who is he trunks! Where is he!" Why don't I just get him some lipstick and some heels...!

**taking a deep breath** Sorry...sorry, I just get so riled up when I here somebody whining and blaming what they did on someone else.... whew! I'm better now...

Please post soon :o)
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From ANON - Yaoiandcoffeeaddict on June 09, 2009
I love how Vegeta supports his son. But I wonder how Goku will take it when he realizes what Vegeta was implying and that it was true.
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From VixenzxMasqueradex on June 07, 2009
As a girl who has come from a long line of 'Drama-Llamas' I give this chapter a solid 10 on the drama meter. I LOVED IT! I had soo many ideas of how you were going to handle the infamous 'morning after' and you trumped them ALL!! my absolute favorite part (and the part I'm looking forward to the most) is how Goku handled Goten and I can't wait to see the next installment between the two of them! I am dying for the next chapter! Don't ask how many more times I am going to reread this AMAZING fanfic this time. . . I'm already in the double digets! keep up the damn good work!!!
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