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Reviews for Third Wheel

By : AwesomeIncarnate

From Solo on February 27, 2010
Super! I enjoyed this thoroughly--very entertaining. Haha, Goten is going to have such a complex when he grows up! But I knew he was enjoying it! Silly Goten, pretending that he doesn't...lol. Also, I particularly loved the dialogue in this chapter. Great job all around!
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From ANON - Veronica on February 15, 2010
Well, of course I'm going to review. It's in my nature. Please, you couldn't get me to stop spewing my opinion everywhere if you tried :-P

Oh, but I'm not on my own laptop so I'm not signed into AFF and I forget my password so I can't sign in but...it's really me.

Anyway, here goes...

But he couldn�t give up. His precious ability to sit down was at stake here. Not to mention his dignity and self respect and stuff.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, Goten.

Ha, monkey sex. Because they were Saiyans. He would have to write that down; but then, who would he tell it too?

Another moment of laugh-out-loud Goten gold.

The younger half-Saiyan glared in what he hoped was a fierce and menacing way. Obviously he didn�t quite pull it off, judging by the way Gohan laughed.

Of course, it came out as a pout!

"I washed it off, Goten." The implied 'duh' was very loud at the end of the sentence. Goten realized that he probably should know by now that Trunks thought of everything. But still...

Hahaha, between this and the ice cream demand, I thought Trunks was just perfect ^_^

He supposed it must just be experience, or something, because he could never so much as string three words together whenever he was being molested.

LOL I love how Goten casually refers to his "being molested" all through this narrative. Like it's the same as brushing his teeth, or eating breakfast.

Goten couldn't help but think he was up to something. Because he always was.

Mwahaha. I really enjoy how evil your Gohan is. Certainly gives Trunks a run for his money.

Gohan, Trunks, Gohan, Trunks, Gohan...Trunks was still kissing him, stopping only at one point for a brief moment with his brother instead; when they broke off, Gohan turned Goten's head and kissed him instead for a minute while Trunks concentrated on giving him what would later be a hickey on his neck. Then Trunks took him mouth back and Gohan moved down on the other side of his neck to create some symmetry. Trunks, Gohan, Trunks, Gohan, Trunks...Both.

Mmmmmmmmmmm, now that's just good writing.... Damn good. Damn.

I was also glad that Goten got some nice treatment :) When they were kissing him, you know, not in the "take off your clothes" way, hehe. It was sweet.

I'm sad it's over! But like you (and George Costanza) say, best to go out on a high note. Lovely story!

PS, the captcha? "Mr implying" If you can come up with something even 1/2 as good as Mumbling Iowans....LOLOL I'll just leave it at that. Heeheeheeeeee.
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From Tru6768 on February 06, 2010
So while all the hot fucking was going on in this chapter, and poor, pouty Goten was being banged senseless by his beloved best friend, all I could think of was what would've happened if Goten hadn't fallen asleep that night after the hand job. Actually, I'd been thinking about that since the last chapter when Trunks mentioned it. But Trunks just kinda shrugged it off here, and I tried to do the same. I promise one of these days I'll stop trying to read plots into your stories. But as much as you swear you don't do plot, all those little details you throw in really matter. They get me thinking...about more than just the sex ;) And I really like that about your stuff. Nice work. Can't wait til v-day!

Oh and I know I fucked up the alphabet :-P It's from a movie where they do that...i think maybe zoolander? But I can't remember anymore...

By the way, the captcha this time is "mumbling iowans." Where the hell do they come up with this stuff?
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From Solo on February 02, 2010
Ha! This story is so entertaining! I love how you just nonchalantly speckle humor in the narrative. I especially liked this part here:

"Goten rolled his eyes and pressed his head deeper into the mattress, but said nothing. Trunks smiled and continued the very important work of pounding his friend until he could make himself believe that they were both parts of one body. Again."

Don't know why, but the 'very important work' part kills me! XD But alas, poor Goten. I suppose I can't feel too bad for the boy. Seems like he's getting a relatively sweet end of the deal there (you know, physically speaking), despite being caught in between Trunks and Gohan's little tiff. He'll come around, though...as soon as he realizes he's totally into the hot man-sex...ohohohoho!

PS: I have to say, super job on the frequent updating. *squints eyes at her own work that's doing a terrible job of writing itself* How do you do it??? ^o^
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From Lunamaru on February 01, 2010
I read the first sentence of this chapter and started laughing. I just knew from that first sentence that all was going to be awesome and great, and I wasn't disappointed! THANK YOU! You actually make me want to type some more Vanilla ice cream... XD Sorry, inside joke, but in other words Gk/Gh shota, among other things *ninja* "He would be fine". Poor Goten, evil Trunks is here to make you feel guilty and manipulate you into doing sexual things with him! :O Wouldn't have it any other way! LOL. Ahh, made my week start out good after such a long week of school last week and many mishaps along the way.
Til you post of Valentine's Day (AND YOU BETTER D
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From Tru6768 on January 31, 2010
Ok, so I promised you a "real review" at some point and I'm finally making good on that! But I guess all that I really wanted to say was that Goten is adorable.

I loved how his suggestion for fixing the whole situation was just to talk to Trunks cuz they were best friends and surely he would understand. Oh, sweetheart, how endearingly naive you are. Well, were....lol. Then the way Gohan manipulated him into thinking it was all his fault was totally sage. It's just so easy to confuse poor Goten, especially when two manipulative brainiacs like his brother and best friend gang up on him.

The hottest parts, IMHO, were when Gohan was whispering to Goten - and making him say all sorts of things he didn't want to ;) - while staring at Trunks through the window. It's going to make me blush to say this, but hell, while we're on the shameless topic of incestuous sodomy, I'm just going to tell you that was change-of-underwear material right there.

I freakin' laughed out loud (and I say that a lot, but rarely mean it--in this case, I actually did one of those spitting things you do when your lips are closed and you suddenly bust out laughing) when, although Trunks couldn't see Goten's face, he was sure that he was pouting. First of all, Goten is fucking adorable when he pouts (I think we can all agree, the face he made when he lost the World Tournament cuz Trunks cheated was perhaps the cutest thing ever drawn into cartoon in the history of the world). And throughout this whole entire thing he was so freaking deliciously pouty. The best was how, even though he was enjoying it, he kept calling Gohan a pervert. And Trunks read my mind when he suddenly found himself thinking how cute the damned kid is.

Speaking of being a perv, though, I liked how Gohan threw in that little bit where he made Goten beg for it like he was asking for a second helping of dessert from Chichi or something. "I want you to say please. You're supposed to say it when you ask for something, remember, Goten?" LOL!

Goooooood stuff. Good, good stuff :D

OMG...... you're not going to believe this but the Captcha I have to type in order to submit this review is "the drilling"...lol how appropriate.

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From Solo on January 26, 2010
Nice! That was very steamy. *nods* And Goten is just so adorable, even when he's trying to be resistant. *coy smile* You know you like it, Goten. I'm excited about the next chapter; I hope to see it soon!
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From Lunamaru on January 25, 2010
Muahahahaha! What a way to take your mind off things, in my case, auditions in about 40 minutes. XD I do like how you portray Gohan, and as always Trunks is evil :D Poor Goten getting caught in the middle! The thought of Goku mindlessly raging after a frightened Gohan made me laugh the hardest though!
As always, thanks for the awesome sex
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From Tru6768 on January 25, 2010
Something more important to do?!?!

NO!

There is nothing more important! I NEED to read the next chapter. Like NOW.

I'll leave you a real review within the next few days. But I just had to write, very in-eloquently right now, to tell you that this is (a) the HOTTEST chapter of this story so far, (2) perhaps the hottest GohanxGoten I've ever read, and (d) fucking hot.

Holy shit.

I love you.
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From Tru6768 on January 23, 2010
First of all, you did it! You successfully avoided the grammar issue! And it didn't sound weird at all. Bravo, my good man.

Second, I loved Trunks in this chapter ^_^ At first I felt really bad for him. He seemed really upset, and understandably so. But then I started to think, "wait a minute, he's enjoying this...." And I laughed out loud when Gohan thought, "give an asshole an inch...." I loved the dialogue and banter between them, too. It was clever and I thought Gohan was rather good at trying to appease Trunks with the I Love Yous and all (btw, does he really? i thought it was just about sex! you said so!) though it didn't work at all. And I really enjoyed Gohan's thought processes, esp. when he was imagining all the ways he could kill/fuck-to-death his beloved bf, but could only grit his teeth and say, "yes, Trunks, whatever you say, Trunks." Man he is whipped! Lovely, just lovey ^_^

But poor, poor virginal Goten.... He has no idea what he's in for. Trunks really is a sadistic little brat - winding Gohan up like that and then setting him loose on Goten. Looks like he will get his revenge on both of them after all. Though something tells me they're going to like it.

Looking forward to more!
-V
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From Solo on January 18, 2010
XD I laughed heartily throughout this entire chapter. I especially liked Gohan's thoughts, ending with some variation of "as soon as Trunks lets me..." Oh...*wipes tear* Very nice. Oh Trunks, little devil you. I can't wait for the next chapter; I want to see how Goten reacts to all of this. Especially when Gohan gets home all deprived and whatnot, and is pretty much like, "On your knees, little brother." Tee hee, Gohan with his rape face on... ^o^
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From Lunamaru on December 23, 2009
AHAHAHAHAHA! I knew the older male was Gohan and the guy who snuck in was Goten, but Trunks was kind of iffy. XD
But omg! :O I love mansex
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From Tru6768 on December 22, 2009
Oh yeah, and I suggest he makes it up to him with a threesome.

:D~
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From Tru6768 on December 22, 2009
Hahahaha. Ok, I was pretty sure that's what was going to happen, but . . . I still totally gasped when it did. YAY!! I love this pairing! The accidental pairing, that is. Not as much as I love the pairing that was supposed to be, but every once in a while, one just has a craving for a little. . . Well, you know. It was a nice surprise because, while I knew from your profile that you were writing the intended pairing, I had no idea this little prelude would be include :D I love when you get two for the price of one like that.

So why did he let him do it? Was that part of his plan? Or did it just happen before he could stop it?

Gah! It's hard to write a review with no names in it. Can't even imagine a chapter.

Also, I've never read anything that ended with the word "fuckdammit," which was excellent :)
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From ANON - Yuurei on December 21, 2009
Nice. First chapter was amazing. Keep it up.
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