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Reviews for Under Duress

By : Solo
  • From AwesomeIncarnate on January 04, 2010
    Yes, the pacing is much, much better in this chapter. I do hope I didn't sound too critical last time, I try to avoid being mean.

    Anyway, I liked this one quite a bit. I like the way Trunks and Goten's relationship apparently works here; it's not something I've come across before. I wonder: Are they hooking each other up as a way of avoiding their own feelings? Or am I just overanalyzing?

    And I can tell you right now that I'm going to like the Trunks/Mirai dynamic here, with poor Goten in the middle. So much anticipation.

    Also, kudos on using the word 'exigency,' which I've never seen before. It's a very short list of people who can force me to look up a word these days.

    Oh, and I lol'ed at the toenail fetish. Keep it up (I mean the whole thing...not just that).
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  • From wickedlady4180 on December 23, 2009
    Loving it! Can't wait to read more :)
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  • From AwesomeIncarnate on December 23, 2009
    Well, you have my attention.

    Firstly, I like pretty much any story that has Goten in it; he's just so much fun to read about. Plus it seems like you're planning interesting things with the old Goten/Trunks scenario, so I look forward to seeing all of the developments there. Then there's the whole Gohan angle... and the other Trunks: I'm excited already. It's gonna be a good ride.

    I will, however, make one small criticism: The whole thing felt just a tiny bit rushed. The arrival of Trunks, his interaction with Vegeta, the conversation with Goten, all seemed to be happening and over before I could really get into them. Not that it's a major detriment or anything, just something I noticed. If I had to choose, I would rather that than something that was unnecessarily long.

    Also, lackadaisical is one of my favourite words too. :D I'm going to find it hilarious every time I see it, now.

    I shall await chapter 2 with bated breath (whatever the hell that means)!
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