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Reviews for Atavism

By : ctsama

From Cara9001 on April 10, 2016
Damn Vegeta is really good at giving oral! And I really like how Vegeta is slowly starting to see how things like that can be pleasurable and good. I also really liked how you described Vegeta's state of mind. Him having panic attacks, the marks he made from scrubbing his skin to hard, and how he had everything as 'part of the drill' were nice to see, it makes him feel more real because anyone that has been through what he has will have these things. A lot of writers like to have Vegeta mate with Goku and have all of his troubles just magically vanish so it's nice to see him written as an actual person with complex thoughts and emotions. I also liked how Whis has grown attached to Vegeta and Goku and wants to help Vegeta control when he can conceive, he seems like a good parental figure for them to turn to when they need help. The part with Vegeta, Goten, Trunks, and the babies playing together was so sweet I could hardly bare it.
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From Ulrike on April 09, 2016
I love Whis. I love him. And I love that he is in this story!!! Ahhh! Anyway, excellent chapter. I like how everyone is pretty accepting of the little twins and Goku and Vegeta's special relationship. It's the DBZ world, so they're just kind of like 'whatev.' I am super interested to see how Beerus and Vegeta interact. As we see in DragonBall Super, Beerus is pretty disrespectful toward Vegeta and demanding of him. I have a feeling, with your skill of writing, things may not go well for the prince when it comes to interacting with the God of Destruction. Also, yay for Bulma! I love that she is supportive. I love that she and Vegeta still very much care for each other. Now onto Videl's part of the story. What are the other DBZ guys going to find out? I hope that Videl doesn't tell a bunch of lies that make everyone turn against Vegeta! Goku protect him!
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From ANON - b-chan on April 07, 2016
Well that was an evil cliff hanger. Just what did Gohan tell her to make her mad at Vegeta?
Are you still being evil Gohan or just a coward unable to confess the truth to your wife (which makes sense because just 'how' do you tell your wife you became evil and cheated on her with a reluctant Vegeta? And surprise we have kids together. Videl would totally beat the snot out of him.)
Like how you explained Whis's, that something 'new' was what made life worth living.
Goku�s request of Whis was rather interesting, just how would you� �train� someone not to conceive? Now Vegeta don�t Ovate understand�. (sweat drop). Would think asking Bulma to make a super saiyan birth control pill would be easier, potentially less embarrassing, but not nearly as entertaining. Rather curious what Whis is going to do.
Once again thanks for the read. Looking forward to what you have installed for us next.
Ja ne
b-chan
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From CandyYugiohFan on April 02, 2016
Can't wait till next chapter :)!
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From ANON - Kitkat on March 31, 2016
Wow, it's been such a long time since I visited aff.net. The site even changed name. Hehehe. I'm so happy to have read this fic, because now I know the fandom isn't dead yet, despite lot's of good talented writers disapearing on us.
So I've read your answer to one of your reviwers and I too know (it's a fact) that Goku is much smarter than what he likes to show. It's proven in those chapters before cell games, it's proven in the way he fought all his adversaries in the original DB series, it was proven in the chapters right before arriving in namek and fighting freeza. He's just not too much interested in the things that seem important to civilized people, he doesn't feel the need to.
Thanks for sharing this fic. And thanks for hearing me talk about my favourite character. Hehehe, you didn't really need to.
Hugs.
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From Ulrike on March 24, 2016
Intense! Man, poor Vegeta! He has been through hell! Now that Gohan's human side is back in control, I wonder if he'll be able to ever forgive himself for what he has done. He must still feel some desire for Vegeta, but will he fall back into that crazed lust or will he just feel disgust in himself. I love angsty Vegeta. I really do. Even when he's powerless and helpless and crying like he is in this last chapter, I just love him. I'm up-to-date with all the Dragon ball Super stuff. I think it would be interesting to include some of the new characters somehow! Great stuff!
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From Cara9001 on March 23, 2016
More beautifully written chapters! I liked how Vegeta got his revenge in a way, and how Goku presented Gohan to him to do what he wanted with him. Gohan is lucky to be alive but his punishment is going to eat at him forever. That and Gohan has soiled just about all of his relationships with everyone. Things are probably going to be really hard for a lot of the characters now, especially Vegeta and Goku. Vegeta will need time to heal mentally and physically, even with Goku's help he'll most likely still have some issues from all of this. That kind of torment doesn't really disappear but at least Goku will be with him to help now, haha and Piccolo is a good friend/support system too. I loved how you captured Piccolo's sass btw, I like thinking of Vegeta and Piccolo as sarcastic sassy besties when things aren't as serious hahaha. As for the authors note I've seen Resurrection �F� and most of Dragon Ball Super so you wouldn't need to do any introductions or rehashings for me at least.
Overall I loved how you ripped my heart out with these chapters and I'm excited to see what other amazing stuff you have in store!
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From ANON - b-chan on March 23, 2016
Hi B here Sorry I didn�t write this review sooner, both my sister-in-laws had babies this month so I�ve been crazy busy.
Well we got our conclusion with evil Gohan, seriously thought you were going to have to kill him there. So if I understand this correctly it�s the awakening of his saiyan side that made him so aggressive or more exactly the fact the he never took steps to embrace and control it, so once it was forcefully brought to the surface he wanted to prove himself the strongest alpha male, or something like that; plus a whole lot of pent up feelings for both his father and Vegeta.
It was Kind of sad that you made him want to break Vegeta when it appears he did have some feelings for the older man before all this happen. I mean you wrote places where he was acting all nice and caring telling Vegeta he�d be a good mate only to have Vegeta discover it was all lies. You really made him evil, evil till the end there.
Felt a little sorry for him that he didn�t have the courage to admit his attraction to Vegeta when he was younger; poor nerd Gohan if he didn�t need therapy before he sure does now. Wondering if Piccolo will be willing to help him? I mean Piccolo is a father figure to him, plus he didn�t see Gohan acting like a megalomaniac; knows all the details, but didn�t see any of it himself. But then, Piccolo has the twin girls so I don�t know if Piccolo�s willing to risk them to help Gohan or if Gohan will be able to go near them without guilt or maybe even mental attacks from the pair. You did say attacking was easier then defending. That punishment might indeed be a lot harsher then it first seems.
Anyway the whole Gohan thing was nicely tied up.
Still waiting for Goku and Vegeta to talk, they seriously have some things that need to be addressed. You did state that Goku was mad when he talked to Bulma and yes I get your point about helping people first then pointing out how stupid it was that they ended up in such a situation. I suppose I�m just more on Bulma�s boat pointing out what a �proud, stubborn asshole� he can be. I�m sure it will be an interesting conversation to say the least.
Wondering what Goku�s response to seeing the kids will be, if he�ll want to take them from their foster parents? Personally think he won�t be able to handle so many kids. Wondering if he�ll want to put a stop to the whole repopulate project?
As always still very curious where you�re going with this.
Thanks for the read, may your muse be good to you.
Ja ne
b-chan
P.S. yah I do a lot of Dragon scans, unfortunately the sections down for the time being, but hopefully not for good.
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From ANON - Becky on March 21, 2016
Alas, I think the day has finally come when I have become an old woman :P I'm not a huge fan of the new DBZ movies or the continuation of the series. It's perfectly fine if others do like them, but I'm starting to feel like my parents back in the day when they said they did not understand what my fascination was with Dragon Ball or Dragon Ball Z. So if you wanted to include an explanation of the new characters, I would be most appreciative because I would not know half of them
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From TristaML on March 19, 2016
Firstly, in an answer to your question, I think it's always a good idea to have some sort of brief explanation of the new characters, even though they may be well known, not only because some of your readers may not know them, but because it'll flow into the story easier.

Now, as for what I said last time, I hope you didn't take me harshly. I have noticed a growth in the story, even as far as the "mushy stuff." You've done an excellent job in working with the characters and explaining so fully what's really going on. I saw a lot more depth in all of them in these last chapters. I can't believe I missed all these updates, it takes me a while to catch up sometimes.

"Were they human, it might have been flowers and candy, but they were made of harder stuff."

I loved that. It used a very human description to explain their very un-human nature, and what's better is that there was no explanation given, because we lack the understanding of it to do it justice. That's partially why I enjoy the show so much and what makes this fanfiction possible. It's realistic in a weird kind of way to me.
I am more curious now to know what'll happen than I have been before. I actually thought for a moment that this chapter might be wrapping it up, but I'm glad it's not, I would have been disappointed.

I want to point out to that I liked how you used Goku's fighting intellect in this most recent chapter. (I like stories that keep the characters in character) He has a dual personality, in my opinion, and you showed that a little bit. He does have intelligence that goes deeper than "I feel," and your explanation of why he let Gohan remember was brilliant.

Thank you so much for writing,

TristaML
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From Cara9001 on March 15, 2016
I love how Piccolo and Vegeta are pretty close friends, and it was nice to see how Piccolo's heart kind of broke a bit when he figured out that Vegeta blamed himself for being raped and that it had happened before. I also loved Piccolo and Goku's talk, I thought it was funny how Goku's finally figuring out that Vegeta loves him and Piccolo's sitting there waiting for the light bulb to flip on in his head.
Vegeta seems to have a trick up his sleeve but things don't look good for him T~T
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From ANON - b-chan on March 12, 2016
Damn, three chapters nearly back to back; I am one happy camper. And oh the angst, it�s like you�ve ripped my heart out of my chest. I feel so much for Vegeta and once you think it can�t possibly get worst you somehow make it happen� what an evil, evil talent you�ve got there.
I�m really enjoying your portrayal of Piccolo (hell I like you�re portrayal of everyone, even to a small degree evil Gohan� at least he�s far more interesting then Dragon Ball Super Nerd Gohan with no muscles� Such wasted potential�, but I digress). So many yaoi fics just slop him together with Gohan like an afterthought, I like the more active mature fatherly roll you�re giving him. He�s like the voice of reason, understanding Vegeta�s want to repopulate his race without putting emotions into the equation. Of course, he�s asexual so maybe he just can�t relate or contemplate things like marriage or love; pretty sure he understand the concept of family thou. I just like how you�re making him puzzle stuff out. I like how he�s the back up in Vegeta�s plans and that he�s taking it so serious.
Although, I do think perhaps you�re making the characters a wee bit too understanding. Like Vegeta has all these fears of people finding out and once it happens they�re like �oh no worries man we cool�. I feel like there should have been some �Gohan would never� or they just couldn�t believe it without seeing it for themselves. It�s nice that Vegeta has that kind of support, but it feels a little too convenient.
I also feel like there should be some gut spilling and a loud shouting match or something along the lines of �What do you mean I have kids?! Why wasn�t I told?!� in regarding Goku. I suppose that can�t happen with Vegeta unconscious and Gohan on the prowl, and maybe Vegeta�s too mentally fragile at the moment to handle that kind of confrontation but god I would think Goku would be a little more distraught that all this happened without his knowledge. He cares about Vegeta enough to push it aside when things are the way they are, but I think there should be some inner monologue or something on the matter. Basically I want Goku�s feelings, not just his regrets revolving around Gohan�s current state of being.
Love all the saiyan babies and how you�re making each set specialize in one way or another. They don�t feel like the cookie cutter all powerful Mary Sue offspring many fics have. Even without names you get a pretty good feel for them and once Vegeta turns them over to their foster parents you kind of miss them and wonder how they�re doing.
Okay, evil Gohan� were to start�. What a shock, seriously. Mild manner Gohan Turning that bad; I get a serious Broli vibe from him. Like gentle one moment, crazy the next only he�s more stable, he�s bad because he�s enjoying it, because he�s never felt so free. I like that you�re trying to explain it, like it�s something he just has no control over, but he seriously does seem to have control. It�s weird I�m baffled how you�re going to go about resolving this�. But, he�s coming off as such an evil character, like there�s nothing he won�t do bad, bad. I wonder what he�ll be like if he gets his way, if he breaks Vegeta totally; would that satisfy him? Would that make him possessive and protective of his �mate�? Would that �fix� him? So many puzzles, I can�t say if I�m over thinking it or going off on weird tangents, this fic is just making me ponder and wonder too much.
Anyway thanks for the read. Hope you�re writing streak keeps up and you have plenty of time and energy to feed the fans. Till then I�ll be checking for updates every couple hours like an idiot.
Ja ne
b-chan
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From CandyYugiohFan on March 11, 2016
Great chapter once again (it's CandyYugiohFan but with a name change). Gohan is such a dickhead, I hope Goku finds him in time to kick his ass. How come Vegeta didn't use the bit of power he had to warn Goku he was distressed. Probably saiyan pride. Anyway, I can't wait for the next chapter! ^_^
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From CandyYugiohFan on March 09, 2016
I love this story when is the next chapter! :)
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From Cara9001 on March 08, 2016
Fuck I love this fic so much! It's so sad that Vegeta felt that he was completely on his own with fighting off Gohan but he was right, Gohan had already set things up in his favor. And it was bad enough that he raped Vegeta but to add on the violation of his mind kills me. As soon as my heart felt like it was ripped out it was shoved back in and gushing over how the babies protected Vegeta from Gohans assault, especially when he called them his 'lovely ladies' ugh just destroy me with all of this! His baby girls playing mental games with Vegeta was so sweet to, they're his saving grace and it's just too perfect for words. My absolute favorite thing about this chapter was when Vegeta went to Piccolo for help. How Piccolo was there to support him and calm some of his anxiety was brilliant, and it was funny but sweet how he encouraged Vegeta to squeeze his arms if he needed to. I just loved the support/encouragement Piccolo gave him during the birth and how Piccolo was so amazed by Vegeta and the birth that he teared up was fantastic. Haha even when Vegeta is exhausted he finds the energy to joke with Piccolo about being soft! The second birth really had me in an emotional jumble! Vegeta was at his most vulnerable but Piccolo was supportive, understanding, and comforting through it all. I was literally feeling what they were feeling when the baby wasn't breathing, that was truly some fantastic writing. Then I was slammed with Vegeta almost dying and that was pure perfection too, god it was all perfect, I mean it was horribly sad but it was great! Now that the truth is out about Vegeta's pregnancies and Gohan's attack I'm excited to see what will happen. Gohan is planning something and Vegeta is even weaker now than he was before so he'll need to rely on the others to help him. Gah I knew I was going to love this story when I saw it was titled Atavism! I'm a huge conservation genetics nerd and I help with genetics projects for threatened/endangered species at my university, that and I completely love mpreg Vegeta so you have me hooked 100% on this! (Idk why AFF keeps messing up my review, sorry for spamming the comments section trying to get it to work)
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