Reviews for PrologueBy : Herpb4uDerp |
Oh my gosh. And you talk about my cliff hangers. Holy hell. Oh my gosh.
I literally have nothing else to say!
Except I wish it was next Saturday...
TristaML
Yessss!!!! I loved that Goten was showing so much vulnerability here, we got to see more out of him than just anger and scheming and I am loving the change of direction! Very interested to see what else Bra's part to play in this is... my favorite part was when Vegeta told Goten that he would approve, Gotens response was hilarious, and his retorting kiss was epic. Love it.
Im excited to read more as usual!
mmmm, my favorite chapter. Not counting the extra one. Maybe even counting the extra one. I suck at reviews so I'm struggling to explain how much I love it. You even warned us ahead of time that it would be the end (for a while, anyway). And of all the places to run to when Goku finally lost it, of course he went to the place where he had the happiest day of his life. This chapter is the bedrock of this entire story and it's perfect.
I had this whole long review written out and then somehow it all got deleted, so I'll make this short and sweet. Goten is absolutely nuts, Vegeta is surely going to find out, and/or be that much more upset in the long run which is not a good thing. I love the foreshadowing from previous chapters coming into play in these recent ones (like the information about Bra's conception and why she can do nothing wrong in Vegeta's eyes), I was so surprised by how Bulma handled the situation, threatening Goku like that, which also speaks to why he may have left and leaves me even more curious about everything to begin with, I'm glad to see Gohan in this, I hope to see more of him, and I am eagerly awaiting what's to come next! EEK!
Sincerely,
Trista ML
I could not be fucking happier to hear that about the chapters! Not necessarily that they'll take a while but that there's so much more to happen! These last two chapters were incredible! I have not been so enthralled in a story in so long :) I could not put my phone down...
Goten fucked up so bad! I can honestly say I was not expecting that to go down in such a way, and I wonder so badly at what's to come next... Your creativity needs to be applauded, so cheers to you. I have much more to say but I'm pressed for time, I will try to write a more in depth view at a later date but for now, I am just so happy to see these updates!
-TristaML
I'm excited for the next few chapters! Its kind of funny to me that Goten was hesitant to try Vegeta in the first place, maybe he didn't want to be rejected, so he waited until he knew he wouldn't be. We shall see :) A little sad that Goku and Vegeta's first time was spurred on by an aphrodisiac but I get more why they're so at odds with their "relationship". I want to know more about that relationship, so many things are yet to be explained...
I will say, too, that I like that you update multiple chapters, although there is a downside to doing that. One, it creates a lack of anticipation, and hits on your story, and two, sometimes it seems rushed. I've done it before on one of my favorite stories and it wasn't received very well on this particular sight since some people only read stories on here based off of hits, which is ridiculous but true.
Plus, make sure you reread what you're about to post a few times before posting it, in this last chapter in particular, there were a lot of grammatical errors that could easily be fixed. Don't rush it, unless you are just dying to get it out, in which case I understand, and do go on... it just throws off the flow and emotion of the story when the reader has to mentally correct a sentence. It happens to all of us, I'm just putting it out there so you can fine tune the overall mood of your story, which will make the impact on the reader that much better.
TristaML
I really want to know how you're going to satiate their burning desire! And Goku is always such a dick for leaving- I want to know when he'll come back, damn it! That's one thing I never understood: why he can just leave and think that no one else will be bothered.
I enjoy the monologues, they seem practical, but mistaken, which is part of life. The conversation between Vegeta and Goku, Trunks and Goten, so... to the point, like familiar relations, never fully labelled... Goten is in denial, and Vegeta must have already known about him, too, but he's in denial as well. It's exciting to watch it all play out. But I itch for more.
I love PWP, BUT, porn WITH plot give you so much more to think of...
Trista ML
I love this. I know you said you posted this before in a different site, under a different name, and I feel like it rings some bells, BUT I am so wholly excited to reread, if that is the case, everything, including the changes you have made. Please continue...
Please?
Trista ML
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