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Reviews for Peep Show

By : akuseru
  • From gokusgirl on July 02, 2008
    This would have been a very steamy story for the lack of poor puncuation. It just went downhill towards the end, and that was a shame.
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  • From Rezalda on November 18, 2006
    It was a pretty good story. I don't think there's anything wrong with well-written PWP. The biggest problem, I'd say, was the lack of capitalization. It's very difficult to read a story without capitalization at the beginning of sentences and names. Lack of capitalization will make your story look sloppy.

    But it was well-written. I've always thought stories with voyeurism and masturbation to be very sexy. The ending seemed a bit rushed, but as you said, this was your first FMA fic, and I'm sure they'll get better.

    I also liked how you put a bit of WAFF near the end, and managed to fit it into the timeline, as well as giving a reason for them acting like they're not boyfriend and girlfriend during the course of the story. A good one-shot overall.
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  • From on October 21, 2006
    Well, the only thing I could really see that needs adjusting is the capitalization at the beginning of each sentence, so it doesn't seem like the sentences are running together with various punctuation. Maybe some of the grammar needs work, but there is a definate story here. I think I read it before, just never reviewed ::sweat drop::. Gomen ne! Well, here's your review, have a pleasant day! ^^
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  • From on October 21, 2006
    Dammit, why does it do that?! >< Okay... to 1st reviewer: LEARN THE USE OF PROPER CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM BECAUSE FLAMING IS NOT CONSTRUCTIVE, IT'S JUST RUDE! Put as bluntly as possible. To author, I will read and review. ^^
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  • From on October 21, 2006
    (continued)...
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  • From on October 21, 2006
    Hey, first reviewer: just because it's not a perfect story doesn't give you the right to call it inexperienced. Oh yeah, and do learn how to spell that, won't you? It would make you seem as if you weren't a huge ass and that you actually know something. Damn, that was mean...
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  • From Shadowfan20 on October 20, 2005
    Nice! I liked it, EdxWin are too cool:)
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  • From ANON - DragonsLore on September 22, 2005
    That was great, very well done, and very hot! Keep it up!
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  • From on June 09, 2005
    Possibly the best het lemon in the FMA section. Kudos to you! Excellent peice of work here. A yummy solo....Mmm
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  • From ANON - Linsang on April 12, 2005
    Yeah, you need to work on Your Punctuation. Nice Story though, but you should have made the sex scene longer and more romantic....
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  • From ANON - DarkMystic on March 09, 2005
    Sex scene could of been slower, and written longer for romantic perposes, but all in all I think it was a very good short story, and I liked it, hope you write more in the future.
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  • From shadowsamuri on January 07, 2005
    Its a good story and i like the way you put sum of the detail in your writting....... i just cant see ed do that i dont know i just cant see him do that
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  • From ANON - Lady Kari on December 26, 2004
    Very good, except for one thing that slightly annoyed me...the capital letters. Other than that, great. You should continue it and add more lemons. I might be able to give you some ideas if you need any help, just e-mail me.

    Luv+Hugz~~Lady Kari

    Who is more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?
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  • From on December 11, 2004
    not bad, but couldn;t you have been a bit more descriptive?
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  • From Mic123 on November 25, 2004
    Man too good to miss, loved it, short but sweet., not rushed at all, well mabey just a little here and there, but still a-ok in my books lol, very nicly done
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