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Reviews for Iserlohnn - continued

By : RealRoyMustang
  • From ANON - animecrazd on January 16, 2006
    OOPS i sent you a blank review by accident forgive me.
    any way i just wanted to tell you have imagineitive this is.
    I love Redux and this is even better. jst wanted to say thanks
    for all the hard work you put into this!
    now i just wanted to know you said that you pay this game with friends
    is that like a role playing game and if so is this story based on your adventures.
    Because i have played alot of role playing games like D&D and star wars and such!
    If this is a game you made up or is existing i like to know about it.
    P.S. I caught the hole Star Wars scene and loved it." aren't you short for a alchemist" LOL
    and the Tenshi Mayo scene with the ring of flowers and the promise that mustang would marry her.


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  • From IrisHeart on September 28, 2005
    Longest FMA fic here O_O;; ((At least until I post mine in the Winter when Im done *lol*)) I had to read the long one though!! Whew...

    It's great keep going!

    Just a couple of pointers- 1) FullMetal may be a Japanese anime but the country they are in is not Japan, nor are they Asian. The closest thing is Xing and that is Chinese not Japanese. In the case of an FMA fic you should avoid using Japanese suffixes and words. Stick to English >^_^< Using Japanese like that just makes you look like a fangirl. (And base don your mature writing style you are NOT a wannabe fangirl) 2) Envy doesn't talk like that. His sentences are sually very choppy, energetic and don't make much sense. When writing with Envy think of the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland. That's sort of how he is like. 3) Keep an eye on the time period. Make sure any technology is canon for 1912.

    It's a really great fic! Keep going! Spam my Lj some time it's Black_Iris

    UPDATE SOON PLEASE!
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  • From ANON - Angel of Sunshine (too tired to sign in) on September 28, 2005
    It's rather interesting. I'm surprised this isn't up on Fanfiction.net with the rest of the fics from the Sue Gate. And people never ceased to amaze me...Most Sues are female or self insertations but you got a MALE Sue? ~is amazed~ I'm known to be rather harsh on fics on regular fanfiction.net, especially on Gate-Crosser ones. But it's all good criticism.

    Lucky for you, you only crossed the Sue Gate. I've read some of your other, OC-free fics and there is no Canon Rape. Go you! :)

    Not all of the OCs in this fic are Sues. The bad guy is borderline, the doctor most likely not (since she resembles just a random oficer assigned to look after the boys). The Princess girl is what I call a broad-sue. Random babe just there. I'm shocked you haven't done anything with her yet. The little boy, I hate to say is a Sue. A Yaoi-Sue :P

    What makes him a Sue? (figures I'd explain since male characters are hardly ever considered Sue-ish)

    -He has a direct relation to a main character (Ed's "student")
    -He has what seems to be a tragic past
    -He immediately sought interest in canons.
    -Canons sought interest in return (Roy ~coughs~)


    Had none of the above occurred he would not be a Sue. It's basically the love interests and the fact all the guys are fawning all over him that give away his Sue-ism.


    A bonus point for your fic is that, unlike other Sue-Crossers, Winry and Riza were in it but were not there as love rivals. They were actually part of the plot.

    And your fic has a REAL plot. Another bonus.

    Alphonse is actually involved in the story ~chuckle~

    I'm not bashing you or your fic, I was just pointing out the obvious ^^ Though I'd avoid posting this on fanfic.net just because that's where all the Spork Hunters go and I'd hate to see your fic actually do get heavily bashed.

    I love the plot though and look forward to the next update!

    -Sunny
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  • From on September 02, 2005
    like the new chapter, now,back to Ed if you please...^_^
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  • From on July 29, 2005
    good job as always. might want to work on your tenses just a little bit, but very, very engaging otherwise! please continue!
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  • From ANON - Juna on July 22, 2005
    OMG! Cliffy! You gotta update! Yeah I know you barely put this chapter up but omg! update! So good!
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  • From on July 20, 2005
    just finished chap 10.it just keeps getting better!but unless i'm not mistaken, in addition to star wars, i think i detect a little fushigi yuugi fandom going on...^_^
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  • From on July 20, 2005
    I love this fic! It is very well written and it has a very good story line. I was happy to see that it was updated and I hope you can keep updating relatively soon. Thanks for the great story.
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  • From ANON - Anon on July 19, 2005
    this story is soo good update soon please
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  • From ANON - Anon on July 13, 2005
    im so happy u updated after sooo long ive been goin crazy waitin for more of the story
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  • From ANON - tell on June 08, 2005
    Please tell me you haven't given up on this, or Desert for that matter. There both awesome. If I have to I will beg for an update on both of them.
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  • From ANON - elriconeechan on June 07, 2005
    love the star wars ref...but then, you already know that. catch my fic yet?
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  • From ANON - Zenith Wonder on May 16, 2005
    Wow.........Long story.....
    Very long story....
    Um....

    Where to begin...

    Um...

    First of all, I'm not a very big fan of yaoi, so I appreciate you at least kept it down to a minimum. And you had some normal hetero stuff in there too.

    I like your writing style. It shows you have skill, talent, patience, intelligence, and the will to write more than just one paragraph of smut (like certain other people).

    OCs annoy me....Then again, I just hate OCs in general. It's one thing if the story is completely original, but it's another if it's fanfic. OCs just sound to fan wannabe-ish. Kinda reminds me of those bajillion stories I keep finding with "Nekoyasha the girl cat hanyou who Inuyasha dumps Kagome and Kikyo for and falls in love with instead" bleh!

    But I like your story! Keep writing! ^-^ :)

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  • From ANON - Fuhrer Roy on May 13, 2005
    I skimmed through the enitre thing....Then reread it skipping all the gay bits of course...

    I loved FVSFMR (yes we gave the story an acronym XD) up until the gay sex...made me and my male ganglia twitch and want to hide in the closet.

    I like the story, and I must agree with most people Roy is very out of character. I DO NOT RAPE EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. Especially if they're lying sick in the hospital... Roy has his morals and his values.... Seriously he does. I mean damn, poor Tenshi guy....

    btw, Where is Hawkeye? Where is my Riza? Grr damn it Grrr! (is a RoyXRiza fan)

    Good story, keep writing. Gotta go for now. Al is IMing me.... first it's kitties with him now it's camels....
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  • From ANON - Yaoi 4 Ever on May 13, 2005
    I love yaoi! Yaoi is good! But I only have 1 prob and that's.... WHY YOU TRYIN TO MAKE ED N ROY BREAK UP??? I dont think many people really care about ur OCs here enough to imagine them bangin the main guys *shivers* Ed and Roy 4 ever! Ed and Roy together 4 ever! They r meant 2 be!!!!!
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