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Reviews for Imaginary Legacy

By : Skydark1
  • From ZaKai on February 07, 2007
    This was really very good. The tone was dark and quite depressing. I think you did an excellent job showing Alfons’s emotions and how he felt about Ed’s obsession to get back to a place that Alfons doesn’t believe exists as well as how he wants to leave something behind that is him and him alone. There is more, of course, but this is what stuck out to me the most.

    I liked how Ed became resigned to what happened and had a ‘fuck you’ attitude after even though he seemed to be hurting (both physically and emotionally?) from the experience. I think this story had a very realistic touch to it. They’re both obviously trying to cope with their problems in their own way and it’s interesting to see how their personalities could clash. I also really liked Ed’s crude attitude when Alfons asked him if he had the rent money.

    As for the technical stuff, your grammar and spelling is superb. There was one typo (a random ‘e’ somewhere) and a couple of things that stuck out to me. 18th paragraph down, second sentence should be: Alfons is too tired and too sore to care. 32nd paragraph, first sentence should be ‘an opportunistic’. (I’m not pointing these out to be rude; I just know that I appreciate it when people point things like that out so that I can fix them.) These are really minor. The story, and your spelling and grammar over all, were so good that these didn’t detract from the story at all.

    Again, very good story. I’m glad I read it.

    - Z

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  • From milky on February 01, 2007
    Nuuuuuu my poor little otp XDD This is so intense though. Alfons does have some anger to him; you brought it out brilliantly, if horrifically :(
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  • From TrulyWished on February 01, 2007
    It was strangely sad, Alfons ony wanting to be remembered, not for being a lunatic, for being strange, but for DOING something, and the only one to blame is Ed, even when it isn't his fault. As always, fantastic.
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