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Reviews for I Can Hear a Bell Ring

By : Alima8314
  • From kurahieiritrJIO on August 17, 2013
    You have a very nicely written chapter here. Switching from a dream sequence into journal entries is a nice touch to evolve the actual content causing the previous chapter's nightmare sequences. I would have liked to see more details of the room and the train station, but otherwise this was a very enjoyable read. Thanks for all your efforts and sharing this story with others. Good luck and keep writing.
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  • From kurahieiritrJIO on August 17, 2013
    You have written an interesting and poetic piece with this dream sequence. I like how you toss things around and jar the scenery as it is true to many people's dreams. However, I would suggest adding a few touches to the hallway to increase the sense of placement. Hallways can be brightly lit, or dark and sinister in example. Such focus can increase the overall feeling of the dream content to make it feel more like a nightmare and increase the reader's feeling of immediacy when reading. Overall, I like how you have set up the pace of this first chapter. By keeping the feel of your writing pace true to a dream, you have done a good job of bringing to the surface the sense of a dream scape. I hope you continue writing.
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  • From aleeusha on June 08, 2012
    your an excellent writer i loved shower of affection the mosugh, i couldn't finish reading this particular story made me feel quite guilty. but nonethe less you are an excellent writer i hope you do more soon
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  • From ANON - ogremaru on January 07, 2008
    I haven't read a fic that is so well-written without explicit porno scenes.
    I don't think it is so OOC? Is it?
    Thank you for such a good fic. (though Mustang becomes the bad guy this time, well...)


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