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Reviews for Letting Go

By : marccram
  • From IuvenesL on February 17, 2010
    Hey Marc. I am not normally one to review until a fic is at least half-done...probably because I'm sort of like you in that I think that the story is the most important bit, and I like to see a little more of the story than this before I make up my mind on whether or not I like it. However, it's been months since your last chapter, so I figured I would offer up some encouragement. I really like the way you write; I know I don't have to tell you that you're better at it than most people who post here. So, I'm looking forward to whatever comes next. I am a G/V girl, but I love all the Earth Saiyans. :)

    Mirai is a tough nut to crack, but I think you are doing a good job so far, not making him overly cheesy and uninteresting most fanfic authors tend to do. Same goes for Gohan. I am especially looking forward to Gohan figuring it all out. :D
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  • From AwesomeIncarnate on February 06, 2010
    Where to start, where to start...

    I like what I'm seeing. I mean, I really like what I'm seeing. I like a screwed-up protagonist, and Trunks seems to be the epitome of that at this point, so I expect interesting times as he tries to work though his many and varied issues. With Gohan's help, of course.

    And Gohan, who is delightfully peppy and naive; very in-character. I hope he's going to be able to retain that as the story progresses, when he will undoubtedly have problems of his own to deal with.

    Not just them, everybody who's shown up so far has been spot-on, now that I think about it.

    You have a good narrative 'voice,' which makes it very easy to read. I know some other people were, but the length didn't bother me at all here; it really gave room to flesh out everything that was going on, so that a reader really understood the situation.

    Oh, one tiny inconsequential thing, which seriously could not be more insignificant, but I have to bring it up, because everybody likes the guy who's always correcting their grammar: You capitalized 'summer.' That is, in fact, incorrect. Like I said, it couldn't possibly matter less, but just thought I'd point it out.

    All in all, this seems solid so far. I'm certainly interested to see where you plan to go with this (a trip to the future to stop Buu again? Or will it purely be a romance in the present timeline?), and will most assuredly be keeping an eye out for future chapters.
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  • From Solo on August 05, 2009
    This is very good. The pacing is fantastic. I'm very used to reading the plot in which Trunks comes back from the future and suddenly they realize their undying love for each other. However, you've written two lengthy chapters without rushing into some sort of love affair. I appreciate that. :D The last chapter I mentioned that you were being a bit wordy. You've corrected that very well this time around! Descriptions flowed much better in this chapter. I eagerly await the next one, ready to read how the story develops!
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  • From Tru6768 on August 01, 2009
    Haha, well, I *am* pretty awesome…. :-P

    But let’s talk about *your* awesomeness. So many good bits in this chapter! First of all, Little Trunks is ADORABLE and I just want to eat him up! I love his interaction with Vegeta. There’s something about hearing the Saiyan prince growl, “Drink your milk!” that I find very heartwarming, heheh. But I think you’ve perfectly captured their family dynamic. And I love the whole part about milk tasting like feet, heheh. A lot of people focus on the differences between Present and Mirai Trunks. But here you highlight their similarities. It’s sweet to see that Mirai, despite how unfortunately quickly he had to grow up in his time, still has a bit of that endearingly-bratty little kid in him :) Along those lines, there’s that bit at the end, where Trunks goes all one-syllable on Gohan. It’s immature, but Mirai’s not perfect. He’s compassionate and driven – the consummate conquering hero – but he’s still…Trunks :) I think you’ve done a great job with his character.

    As far as Gohan, well, he’s characteristically oblivious! Poor Trunks and all those innuendos Gohan doesn’t even know he’s throwing around! LOL. It’s just like the Sons to think naked swimming is pure playful innocence *slaps forehead*! And that khaki and yellow outfit? Good god, if I was Trunks I wouldn’t be able to wait to get him out of his clothes either. They’re so hideous! :-P

    Now, as far as action, there was a lot in this (oh so long) chapter, but the thing I liked best was how Trunks can’t bring himself to say Gohan’s name and how he sort of mentally flinches when anyone else does it. I’m glad that Gohan called him on it and that Trunks told him how he was feeling. I hope that they will continue to open up to each other.

    And OMG THE DRAMA! Does Majin Buu exist in the future? Is Bulma in danger?? What will become of Trunks’s world now that he’s gone and can’t go back?? And omg can’t things just go well for Mirai for ONCE? :-P Hopefully we’ll learn more about all of it in the next chapter!
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  • From Solo on July 11, 2009
    Interesting! This is very well done. I like the way you've done Trunks' character--very realistic. I've seen several authors fall into a lot of stereotypes for their characters, and while you've kept with the characterization of the show, you've added your own sort of spin that works well with his personality. I enjoyed the description on the whole; however, there were times where it was a bit much. I noticed myself skimming around those times, and I don't really think it took away from the story. I suppose what I'm getting at is try not to be too wordy. Other than that, though, I think you have a really promising story on your hands. I can't wait for the next chapter! ;)
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  • From blackinky on July 09, 2009
    Amazing!!!You are a very talent writer, i almost could feel that i was inside the story!
    Good choice too, Mirai Trunks/Gohan are a very unique pair.
    I can't wait to read the next cap!
    Update soon please *-*!

    BlackInk
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  • From Camui on July 09, 2009
    Don't poke my eyes out eh? :]

    Overall this is devastatingly good, even though it was quite lengthy and almost had me skipping over paragraphs just to get to the point. It's definitely a story that I will be watching out for, so I can follow along; Mirai Trunks is hard to write about, given his past (future?), and the horrible emotional trauma that he's gone through. This is very believable - Bulma going through the motions to send her son back to where he was happy. I like this concept very much indeed, and you pull it off extremely well.

    So, kudos for you~ can't wait to see how Trunks reacts when he figures out what Bulma's done to him. :]

    ♥
    Camui
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  • From quatreofdoom on July 08, 2009
    I do not typically like stories about Mirai Trunks. I do not typically like stories with Trunks x Gohan. That said, I'm really enjoying this fic. It's exceptionally well written and I find the characters relatable and realistic. Please keep up the great work! I hope you update frequently. :)
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  • From Tru6768 on July 08, 2009
    Ah, Marc :)

    Congrats on posting the first chapter of your first DBZ fic! I expect good things from you! :)

    I like a lot of the themes you touch on in this first installment and I'm looking forward to seeing how you'll explore them in future chapters. While you may not be the first to write a Future-Trunks-goes-back-to-the-past fic, there are not many that are so well fleshed-out, with good descriptions, good pacing, and multi-dimensional characters.

    I especially enjoyed Trunks's interaction with the girl at the post office. He's too cute for words. And the gravestone made me cry. LOTS of drama in this first chapter and something tells me this story will be quite the emotional rollercoaster :P I look forward to the ride and am honored to be named as your inspiration. But don't sell yourself short--it's all you.

    Good job, my favorite fanboy =) Keep it up!
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