Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for A Saiyan Alive

By : KittyhawkLuvcat
  • From ANON - ZiBeX on September 30, 2011
    Good story nice beginning and i see there are some interesting ideas for next part of the stor. To bad that it looks like that the author is give up on this fine treasure.... Very sad indeed....

    Report Review

  • From ANON - Facon on September 12, 2011
    Interesting begining hope the story will go depper plot and show some twist and turns.

    Zeo I think you have something there with idea that Radditzi would be in shock to learn how strong earth saiyans are and is logical to think she would feel ashamed to show her self if you consider saiyan pride and all. The you post is good the only minus i should point out is that you didnt think about the saiyan tails thay you dont mention in original part of the story but it dosent mean that it could not be possible to be insert in it if idea works i guess.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - CenturionBlade on September 12, 2011
    Wow this looks great to bad there are no updates for some time now.

    Hey Zeo that idea of yours looks interesting and i like your idea for them to try to fit in the human everyday life. I would also add that in great details just remember Vegeta first time in original story. Man i hope that your idea will give author some of ideas to to see more of it.
    Report Review

  • From ZeroUnit on September 11, 2011
    Well i notice what you wrought about not knowing where to go from here on and you asking if we can give you some ideas so i hope they will help you at least a little.

    In the last chapter Hawk mention that before she left the earth te Z gang was training for new treath that will attack earth. You could make that they come to earth after that was over because Hawk had a feeling that everything went ok, after the landing you could make Radditzi think little patetic or something along those line after she trys to use scanner to locate them and face with more then 2 powers more then a match for her.(you could use that part where Radditzi tought that Hawk was amazed by her power only get startling thought that she was in fact amazed how weak she was compare to her canterparts on earth not to mentions other, of course that could be wrong way of thonking and 100% not true but Hawk did say she lived on Earth for some time now but i did not mention she know saiyans in person. You could from this point try to make Radditzi and Hawk to "blend" in the croud because im not sure that Radditzi pride would alow her to face her last members of her race and look so weak (in last chapter was shown that even dou she would love it to try to fight them she was kinda thinking they would just whipe the flor with her and leave her in the dust to die and here there were the last sayans that made most powerfull elites she know or heard of look like nothing more then a bugs in the grass.)
    At this point you could try to show how things go with thir lives and how Radditzi try to learn some stuff about them maybe even make some encaunters with Gohan or others but not reveal who is who.(like Hawk meets Gohan or Goten by accident in some robbery or something and Radditzi could be forced to be seen if her old team learn the truth about Frieza's death from a hand of a saiyan so they go after the "last one" location they know of, after some battle that is not going to much in Hawk and Radditzi favor Gohan show and clean them in one shot kill ki blast showing Radditzi in that moment ability to increase power level.(you could use instant transmition here to bring Gohan to battlefield and use Hawk as a base why he show up to help if you made them to get to know one another that way Radditzi would manage to get some info on the group and maybe learn thing or two or at least get some pointers how yo get stronger... Image her going to the turttle island to train with krillin and try to keep her saiyan side a secret XD)
    You could use to add little twist and some clues to them all that Vegeta is not the only one who has a brother or sister by making Vegetas brother come to earth falowed by Abo and Cado(they are shown first time in dbz special. And make them so that they recognize the Bardock as Gokus father and in moking reveal him his mother name or something like that that would reveal Radditzi and Hawk some shocking truth to her family. By that time she should be aware of her little brother power maybe even put some conflicts or insecurety about faceing him in her current state as he even surpased the level of legendary, the level she thinks she need to reach to at least feel to be their equal at least in her opinion (i think the Hawk should alway try to make her understands that this saiyans are kinda difrent then the others but i think her pride would not let her have it any other way. ( i fail to mention you should defenitivly make some side story for Hawk or somrthing why she needed to leave the planet and use it to make Radditzi and her closer, you can even make them train together and make Hawk learn some defence moves.
    In any cease i dont know will it help you or not(probably not knowing my luck XD) i tryed to make some possible way things could go from here on... Sorry if it looks and feel thst is on amater way of thinking i tryed my best to help... If i think of anything more i will post it here again...
    Well good luck with you writing and i hope that you will at least read what i written here and when you finally manage to get your self under control from lafing on the flor (dont worry i know that my idea is good for that) you will i hope get more inspiration and better ideas to continue this small masterpeace ^_-
    best wishes from ZeoUnit
    PS: sorry for bad English I was writing all on my android. TT
    Report Review

  • From ZeroUnit on September 09, 2011
    Well I just finish reading entire story and must say that was nice work you did.
    I must say you could made chapters be longer because the the current time they are just simply to short not saying they are bad just short if you can try to make them longer if possible.
    The story as of now looks good and it present as with interesting possibility's on what could happened when they get there.

    the Radditzi gives true feeling that she could really be Goku's sister, they in someways are similar and you did make her in to a interesting character. The most interesting part for e would be when she is thinking about other Saiyans that are on earth, are they first second or third class, I just cant wait to see her face when she finally realize that they are basically the class of their own... a super class. ^_-
    I like how you give her bio and the beginning of the story, I just hope that story will continue and go even deeper in to the plot and make some twist and curves to make story even more serous and not just lemon stuff. XD

    The Hawk looks nicely done to but i cant say to much about her as of now. I can only hope to see how will she develop in the course of the story.
    The story so war looks interesting and have a nice concepts and good base for a long and interesting story but the chapters needs to be longer it maybe cold form my part but it is the truth

    Well in any cease I hope that you will update the story any time now because I definitively what to see how will things go from here on so good luck on the next chapter and best wishes from ZeoUnit
    Report Review

  • From ZeroUnit on March 18, 2011
    Well i like how you write this story i just hope that you will manage to finish it, there are a lot of good one but they are mostly left unfinished. I hope that with this one will not be the same situation. ^^
    Report Review

  • From Mandalore on February 15, 2011
    good story good character originality and so far great action scenes, love the semi censorship and like the way that this story is going so far keep it up
    Report Review

  • From crashcrashcrash25 on January 30, 2011
    I'm intrigued. I'm curious as to where this is going.
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!