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Reviews for Training

By : TheTwentyTwo
  • From Aysha on June 16, 2012
    As a writer I believe that it is my duty to review the stories I read. I saw your add on the forums a thought I'd check it out and thought "I'll read this story and if it sucks I'll write a scathing review that makes the word (harsh) look pathetically inadequate (insert evil laugh here) :p

    Lucky for you I really liked your story ^_^ but it does have some problems. Just so you know, only plays are written in the present tense. Stories like yours are supposed to be written in the past tense. Most of your story is written in the wrong tense. Also there were a couple places were your word order was backwards and others where you needed some punctuation.

    But don’t fret, for the most part your story is great and I am willing to help. Since your story is relatively short I am willing to produce a beta version for you. If you would like that all you need do is read my DBZ story, Write and honest review “harsh” or otherwise and then at the end of that write “Yes I would like a beta” or something to that effect and I will put it together for you and post it as another review on your DBZ story then you can copy it and then remove that review.

    P.S. I hope you write more stories for AFF. :)

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  • From MokaMcdowell on June 14, 2012
    Not bad for a first fic, i like it, and hope to see more.
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