rate_review Reviews

I just got around to finishing your story...and I have to agree with Dan there, that was a pretty abrupt ending. It really shows that you wer a r a rush to finish it which is a little upsetting but not unheard of. It happens to a lot of writers. You get a block and rush the ending. It\'s still good nontheless, but as a favor to your readers, maybe you can go back when you get some inspiration and git ait a proper ending.

Really nice story..cept the end...that was a little...er abrupt and explained nothing about how they got back together...Nothing of the bond. Nothing of how she ever forgave him...To be blunt..I didnt like the ending. Other wise it was a good story.

Lets see...what to write...oh, I know. How about: THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST F*CKING FICS OF DBZ I\'VE EVER READ!!!...ahem...feels good to get that off my chest. I have read a lot of fics for a bunch of different series before, but as far as DBZ is concerned you take the cake (more like the whole bakery). When people usually write about DBZ in a fic it most of the time comes out lame or stale especially concerning the lemon genre of writing. Your certainly a girl thats in touch with her sexuality because the scenes that you write are, for lack of a better word, HOT!~_~ You set the mood quite nicely and know how to execute each scene in the proper way to keep everyone captivated, and despite some of your spelling or grammatical errors, you keep the fluidity of the story going. Besides, it\'s very easy to get the jist of what your saying anyway.

Keep on writing...I\'ll be sure to follow your other work aswell.

PS: If you don\'t already have an editor than I would be glad to edit anything you would see fit for me to lend a keyboard at. Just send it via e-mail. I am known to have pretty good grammar and spelling and I thI coI could help you make your fics even better than they already are.

(sniffs) Thats a great story (sniffs some more) ~_~
I don\'t think your chapters aren\'t nice they are so don\'t doupt yourself ok? Or else >_<
Well I don\'t know what else so still don\'t doupt.
I love it soo much. But in the end when they were fighting you should of make it longer and WHERE were they when they were arguying and how did they ended the arguying?
I wanted to see Trunks beg a little more!! ~_~
Oh and I have a suggestion, its my opinion so don\'t be mad. Well why didn\'t you let Pan leave her home and hide from Trunks and the others for at least one year, and then she would meet Trunks again...... I\'ll tell you if you are interested in making like a second ending. ^_^ It will still have a happy ending, so don\'t worry k? ^_~
E-mail me at ramirez-f@sbcglobal.net
Ps: Put your name and the stories name. ^_^

OOOOOHHHHH MYYY GOOOOOOD!!! Someone please tell me he hasn\'t been CHEATING ON HER!!!!
Someone PLEASE!!! ~_~
Well I don\'t know for sure so don\'t answer that. But Please MISSY GIVE THE NEXT CHAPTER.
I\'M GONNA DIE FROM CURIASOTY!!!!
I DON\'T WANT TO DIE!!! I\'M TO YOUNG!! ~_~

...........WWWWOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THATS...ONE...HELL...OF A STORY.
I can\'t seem to came up with the right words to tell you how good this story is. DANM!!!!
I never say this in other stories that I review but I actually need a cold shower right now. @_@
You do have some spelling problems but WHO THE HELL CARES WHEN YOU HAVE A STORY LIKE THIS ONE!!!!
You can easily know what you mean so for my part I don\'t care about you grammar but hell your story...NOW THAT I DO CARE ABOUT. PUT THE NEXT CHAPTER SOON. DAMN this room is soooo hot now.
Until next chapter.
Bye bye.
Oh and update soon! ^__^