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May 1, 2004 at 12:00 AM
......I just reviewed the other chr. ~r. ~Crys~ I have nothing to say but poor Goku. ~Sniff~ Bye!
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May 1, 2004 at 12:00 AM
That was cruel... so cruel!
I don\'t want Vegeta and Goku to fight... Goku shouted at Vegeta OH THE HORROR! *faints, then gets up to continue review.*
Goku and Vegeta will be together forever... won\'t t*sni*sniffles*
I\'ll be \'patient\' though... don\'t worry my eye usually twitches
I don\'t want Vegeta and Goku to fight... Goku shouted at Vegeta OH THE HORROR! *faints, then gets up to continue review.*
Goku and Vegeta will be together forever... won\'t t*sni*sniffles*
I\'ll be \'patient\' though... don\'t worry my eye usually twitches
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May 1, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I would ask for some of those brownies, but I am afraid they\'d go the same way as the ice cream. *shrugs in regret, then scratches head about side mark to MB* Is there something in those brownies I should know about?
I did like the hunt. The fact that Goku balcked out in the process is a little unsettling.
I hope Vegeta gives Goku a VERY good answer to his question. (He wanted to know what was on Goku\'s mind.) Even if that means Vegeta has to go off by himself and think about the answer for a while.
Picolo all smirky makes me a little freaked out. *hope he takes that as a compliment*
I did like the hunt. The fact that Goku balcked out in the process is a little unsettling.
I hope Vegeta gives Goku a VERY good answer to his question. (He wanted to know what was on Goku\'s mind.) Even if that means Vegeta has to go off by himself and think about the answer for a while.
Picolo all smirky makes me a little freaked out. *hope he takes that as a compliment*
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May 1, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Oh my god! That was a cliffy! *Sighs* You are just trying to get back at me...I know it. j/k. Anyway, you\'re right this fight soo had to happen. Vegeta has been to closed off about this. I know it seems that he has been overly emotional in this fic but its not really true, at least when it comes to Goku. Your also right that Goku did need a huge and Vegeta just ignored it and brushed it under the carpet. Now look what you did...*sits back with popcorn and soda* This is going to be so good....MUHAHAHAHAAAAA!...I\'m evil okay...Gosh!
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May 1, 2004 at 12:00 AM
*sniffs air* I smell another plot twist brewing. Or maybe it\'s always been there, and I am just now noticing.
I don\'t think Bulma is a blabber mouth, is she?
This chapter wrapped up the momentary laundry issue. We\'ll see what happens next time.
Goten gagging Trunks? Interesting.
I am hoping that the next chapter actually goes into Goku and Vegeta\'s hunt, and not just skip over it.
I don\'t think Bulma is a blabber mouth, is she?
This chapter wrapped up the momentary laundry issue. We\'ll see what happens next time.
Goten gagging Trunks? Interesting.
I am hoping that the next chapter actually goes into Goku and Vegeta\'s hunt, and not just skip over it.
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April 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Reviewing: Chapter 30
Really loved the opening scene with Vegeta and Bulma. The emotions were definitely palpable.
Bulma\'s tenuous question, was laced with apprehension, and I could feel her need to have Vegeta laugh of her feelings as being silly and emotional. I very much like how Vegeta reacted to her unasked question. That niggling feeling he had earlier, and had tried to shrug off, came back with full force, and his own sense that something was definitely wrong, hitting him square in the gut, was very well done.
Got goose bumps when he asked where Trunks was.
Loved how well you expressed his inner thoughts and his deep seated fear, as he flew to where he sensed Goku and his son were. The fact that he felt he was going too slow, I could understand that no speed was ever going to be fast enough for him, and could sympathise with his frustration, Totally understood his fear over what he would face when he finally got to where his son was. This whole scene was very well done. as vas very glad that Trunks was still able to be saved, I had my fears that he would be dead.
Love that Goku initially stepped aside and didn\'t try to interfere with Vegeta in this fi Ti Tien going after Vegeta was one thing, but going after his son, was beyond repnsibnsible, and personally, I think that Vegeta should have killed him. This is one time, when I disagreed with Goku stepping in at the last minute to hold Vegeta back.
\"Saw Tien smiling as he did this. Saw that he felt he was perfectly justified. Saw that there was corruption t tha that could not be fixed.\"
This should have told Goku, that sometimes, you can\'t always save people.
I must admit though, I really loved the way he was arguing with himself over allowing Vegeta to take Tien out. You presented the inner Goku trying to reason with his Saiyan nature, very well.
\"Found himself watching this and wanting it. Wanting Vegeta. Thought that was only slightly odd.\"
*chuckle* Not even slightly odd Goku... perfectly natural. ;-)
Didn\'t expect Vegeta to accept being pulled away quite so easily. I\'m confused as to why Goku felt the need to feed Tien some of his ki. Can\'t help but wonder if Vegeta is going to reflect on this and feel that maybe Goku is monitoring him a little too closely, first he was prevented from getting rid of the menace who would have happily killed his son, had Goku not turned up in time, and then, by feeding Tien some ki, he reduced the pain that Vegeta\'s beating would have provided. I\'m wondering ifs wos would eventually have an impact on their relationship.
Ah, obviously not... Vegeta seems to be fine with the way things went. Personally I wouldn\'t trust Tien as far as I could throw him.
Good chapter. :-) Onto the next...
\"Trunks: I’m glad they were onceoncerned for me\"
LOL! Cracked up at this. :-D Wondering when Vegeta is going to tell poor ol\' Bulma that Trunks is fine.
Really loved the opening scene with Vegeta and Bulma. The emotions were definitely palpable.
Bulma\'s tenuous question, was laced with apprehension, and I could feel her need to have Vegeta laugh of her feelings as being silly and emotional. I very much like how Vegeta reacted to her unasked question. That niggling feeling he had earlier, and had tried to shrug off, came back with full force, and his own sense that something was definitely wrong, hitting him square in the gut, was very well done.
Got goose bumps when he asked where Trunks was.
Loved how well you expressed his inner thoughts and his deep seated fear, as he flew to where he sensed Goku and his son were. The fact that he felt he was going too slow, I could understand that no speed was ever going to be fast enough for him, and could sympathise with his frustration, Totally understood his fear over what he would face when he finally got to where his son was. This whole scene was very well done. as vas very glad that Trunks was still able to be saved, I had my fears that he would be dead.
Love that Goku initially stepped aside and didn\'t try to interfere with Vegeta in this fi Ti Tien going after Vegeta was one thing, but going after his son, was beyond repnsibnsible, and personally, I think that Vegeta should have killed him. This is one time, when I disagreed with Goku stepping in at the last minute to hold Vegeta back.
\"Saw Tien smiling as he did this. Saw that he felt he was perfectly justified. Saw that there was corruption t tha that could not be fixed.\"
This should have told Goku, that sometimes, you can\'t always save people.
I must admit though, I really loved the way he was arguing with himself over allowing Vegeta to take Tien out. You presented the inner Goku trying to reason with his Saiyan nature, very well.
\"Found himself watching this and wanting it. Wanting Vegeta. Thought that was only slightly odd.\"
*chuckle* Not even slightly odd Goku... perfectly natural. ;-)
Didn\'t expect Vegeta to accept being pulled away quite so easily. I\'m confused as to why Goku felt the need to feed Tien some of his ki. Can\'t help but wonder if Vegeta is going to reflect on this and feel that maybe Goku is monitoring him a little too closely, first he was prevented from getting rid of the menace who would have happily killed his son, had Goku not turned up in time, and then, by feeding Tien some ki, he reduced the pain that Vegeta\'s beating would have provided. I\'m wondering ifs wos would eventually have an impact on their relationship.
Ah, obviously not... Vegeta seems to be fine with the way things went. Personally I wouldn\'t trust Tien as far as I could throw him.
Good chapter. :-) Onto the next...
\"Trunks: I’m glad they were onceoncerned for me\"
LOL! Cracked up at this. :-D Wondering when Vegeta is going to tell poor ol\' Bulma that Trunks is fine.
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April 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Reviewing: Chapter 31
I like the way the lemon started off... intense, with Vegeta battling with his thoughts over what he should have done, and what he knew that Kakarot would not allow him to do. Loved how Goku sensed that Vegeta needed this intensity and provided what he could without giving the level of pain that Vegeta seemed to want at that point The meshing of emotions of Vegeta\'s true Saiyan nature, and his calmer nature, which has surfaced since being with Goku, was very interesting, sort of giving me that \'pressure cooker\' feel, where sooner or later, something is definitely going to burst if not attended to, and I worry that Vegeta may feel that he\'s surrendering too much of himself, in order to keep this relationship from ruining.
\"“I like to watch you fight,” was the answer, “Its so…” Instead of searching his mind for an answer, he moved faster into him.\"
Mmm, good answer. :-)
Gods, another well described lemon... so very hot!... and yeah, I could be so overestimating how Vegeta is going to react to all of this, because he seems pretty damn happy at this point. ;-)
\"Thought that if anything was a passion killer, that three-eyed freak definitely qualified.\"
LOL!
“STUPID TELEMTER TER BASTARDS! I PUT A PHONE IN THE CAPSULE HOUSE FOR A…oh, Trunks. There you are.”
LOL! Love this. Bulma from rage to carefree in 0.6 seconds. :-)
“Oh. And…what happened?” She looked pleasant, patted him. But there was the underlying ‘if you don’t tell me I’ll scream at you until you go deaf, so just spit it out already kid.’
Okay... pretend carefree... LOL!
Enjoyed this. Onto more. :-)
Enjoyed the end dialogue. :-) Thought the lemon was wonderfully described, beginning to think that Vegeta is getting a touch of \'Gokuitis\' where sex is concerned. :-)
I like the way the lemon started off... intense, with Vegeta battling with his thoughts over what he should have done, and what he knew that Kakarot would not allow him to do. Loved how Goku sensed that Vegeta needed this intensity and provided what he could without giving the level of pain that Vegeta seemed to want at that point The meshing of emotions of Vegeta\'s true Saiyan nature, and his calmer nature, which has surfaced since being with Goku, was very interesting, sort of giving me that \'pressure cooker\' feel, where sooner or later, something is definitely going to burst if not attended to, and I worry that Vegeta may feel that he\'s surrendering too much of himself, in order to keep this relationship from ruining.
\"“I like to watch you fight,” was the answer, “Its so…” Instead of searching his mind for an answer, he moved faster into him.\"
Mmm, good answer. :-)
Gods, another well described lemon... so very hot!... and yeah, I could be so overestimating how Vegeta is going to react to all of this, because he seems pretty damn happy at this point. ;-)
\"Thought that if anything was a passion killer, that three-eyed freak definitely qualified.\"
LOL!
“STUPID TELEMTER TER BASTARDS! I PUT A PHONE IN THE CAPSULE HOUSE FOR A…oh, Trunks. There you are.”
LOL! Love this. Bulma from rage to carefree in 0.6 seconds. :-)
“Oh. And…what happened?” She looked pleasant, patted him. But there was the underlying ‘if you don’t tell me I’ll scream at you until you go deaf, so just spit it out already kid.’
Okay... pretend carefree... LOL!
Enjoyed this. Onto more. :-)
Enjoyed the end dialogue. :-) Thought the lemon was wonderfully described, beginning to think that Vegeta is getting a touch of \'Gokuitis\' where sex is concerned. :-)
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April 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Reviewing: Chapter 32
Deeply concerned that Goten seems to feel a sense of doom, where his father and Vegeta are concerned. I know that I mentioned that I was concerned that all of this holding back on Vegeta\'s part might spill over into something, possibly not good for him and Goku... but I was thinking along the lines of a temporary parting of ways... you know, to be resolved, happy ending and all that stuff :-) But this is slightly worrying... didn\'t expect this, didn\'t expect Goten to feel that something was heading their way.
\"There was no other resolution.\"
Wondering what he means by this? I\'m wondering if Goten has got his grandfather\'s ability to see into the future, but maybe in a more \"sense it\" fashion rather than \"visualise it.\"
\"Tien was a catalyst, Goten thought, because he was the one that would make the great powers separate again.\"
Hmm, Guess either way, he\'s going to be some sort of catalyst. Either for Vegeta\'s rage, or for Goku\'s deep sense of right and wrong.
\"Not yet. There was a first time for everything. After all, nothing happens until the first time.\"
Really liked this. :-)
\"Enough to make his hands shake as he realized it was their duty, his and Trunks, as the sons to keep this fight from being the end. He had never fought his father, never fought him with any intent to destroy him or harm him. Had sparred, and had not even done all that well against him. Hadn’t fared any better against Vegeta.\"
Not fully understanding this. Is Goten saying that he feels he may have to fight either his father or Vegeta? Wondering what the hell is shooting way over my head. :-D
“What are we going to do?” Trunks asked, “We can’t both leave. I won’t let my Mom be left unprotected.”
Good lad Trunks. I liked this. :-)
Really loved Goku\'s reflections on how he loved his family, but how the fight was something that was truly a part of him, of who he was, and what he loved best of all. Found this to be very Goku :-)
Goku\'s thoughts on his ultimate love for the fight, has sort of got me wondering where Vegeta fits into all of this... could be interesting to find out. :-)
Cannot begin to say how much I loathe Tien in this, even more than I do in the show... Looks like he\'s just too stupid for words:
re’sre’s your pride?”
The death knell for Tien. There\'s no way that Vegeta is going to allow him to live after this. Can\'t see him raging so much over the fact that Tien thinks being the uke is pride shattering, so much that Tien knows something, which is so deeply personal for Vegeta, and is using it to mock him. I can see Vegeta suddenly realising that his pride needs him to finally put an end to all of this shit once and for all. Am deeply glad that Goku sensed that he needed to back right away from this one. Although, with Goten\'s fears, I am a little concerned about the catalyst thing. Although, I can\'t say that I disagree with Vegeta at all.
\"“Nobody can save you now,” Vegeta said.\"
Loved this. True Vegeta rage. :-)
\"That life did not last very long. Vegeta rose his hand, cracked a sadistic grin. “Good bye.”\"
Hmm, surprisingly, I felt a momentary pang at seeing a return of the old Vegeta... really a shame that it had to get to this point, but Tien really was leaving them with le cle choice. Can\'t say he wasn\'t given enough chances.
\"...Looked at Goku like he did not know who he was-or else, recognized him and didn’t give a damn about who he was.\"
“Hey…” he said, put his hands up, “Vegeta? Come on,” he said, “I swear I’ll wash my clothes.”
\"There was a smirk then. Power dropped down. “Good.”\"
Goku beautifully defused a potentially dangerous moment. :-) Hope that it\'s truly settled, worried that it\'s not.
Very good chapter. On to the next. :-)
\"… … Is it ever over that easily?\"
No. That\'s what\'s got me worried.
Loved the end dialogue... especially between Goku and Goten :-)
Deeply concerned that Goten seems to feel a sense of doom, where his father and Vegeta are concerned. I know that I mentioned that I was concerned that all of this holding back on Vegeta\'s part might spill over into something, possibly not good for him and Goku... but I was thinking along the lines of a temporary parting of ways... you know, to be resolved, happy ending and all that stuff :-) But this is slightly worrying... didn\'t expect this, didn\'t expect Goten to feel that something was heading their way.
\"There was no other resolution.\"
Wondering what he means by this? I\'m wondering if Goten has got his grandfather\'s ability to see into the future, but maybe in a more \"sense it\" fashion rather than \"visualise it.\"
\"Tien was a catalyst, Goten thought, because he was the one that would make the great powers separate again.\"
Hmm, Guess either way, he\'s going to be some sort of catalyst. Either for Vegeta\'s rage, or for Goku\'s deep sense of right and wrong.
\"Not yet. There was a first time for everything. After all, nothing happens until the first time.\"
Really liked this. :-)
\"Enough to make his hands shake as he realized it was their duty, his and Trunks, as the sons to keep this fight from being the end. He had never fought his father, never fought him with any intent to destroy him or harm him. Had sparred, and had not even done all that well against him. Hadn’t fared any better against Vegeta.\"
Not fully understanding this. Is Goten saying that he feels he may have to fight either his father or Vegeta? Wondering what the hell is shooting way over my head. :-D
“What are we going to do?” Trunks asked, “We can’t both leave. I won’t let my Mom be left unprotected.”
Good lad Trunks. I liked this. :-)
Really loved Goku\'s reflections on how he loved his family, but how the fight was something that was truly a part of him, of who he was, and what he loved best of all. Found this to be very Goku :-)
Goku\'s thoughts on his ultimate love for the fight, has sort of got me wondering where Vegeta fits into all of this... could be interesting to find out. :-)
Cannot begin to say how much I loathe Tien in this, even more than I do in the show... Looks like he\'s just too stupid for words:
re’sre’s your pride?”
The death knell for Tien. There\'s no way that Vegeta is going to allow him to live after this. Can\'t see him raging so much over the fact that Tien thinks being the uke is pride shattering, so much that Tien knows something, which is so deeply personal for Vegeta, and is using it to mock him. I can see Vegeta suddenly realising that his pride needs him to finally put an end to all of this shit once and for all. Am deeply glad that Goku sensed that he needed to back right away from this one. Although, with Goten\'s fears, I am a little concerned about the catalyst thing. Although, I can\'t say that I disagree with Vegeta at all.
\"“Nobody can save you now,” Vegeta said.\"
Loved this. True Vegeta rage. :-)
\"That life did not last very long. Vegeta rose his hand, cracked a sadistic grin. “Good bye.”\"
Hmm, surprisingly, I felt a momentary pang at seeing a return of the old Vegeta... really a shame that it had to get to this point, but Tien really was leaving them with le cle choice. Can\'t say he wasn\'t given enough chances.
\"...Looked at Goku like he did not know who he was-or else, recognized him and didn’t give a damn about who he was.\"
“Hey…” he said, put his hands up, “Vegeta? Come on,” he said, “I swear I’ll wash my clothes.”
\"There was a smirk then. Power dropped down. “Good.”\"
Goku beautifully defused a potentially dangerous moment. :-) Hope that it\'s truly settled, worried that it\'s not.
Very good chapter. On to the next. :-)
\"… … Is it ever over that easily?\"
No. That\'s what\'s got me worried.
Loved the end dialogue... especially between Goku and Goten :-)
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April 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Reviewing: Chapter 33
Felt both sad and worried over Vegeta\'s thoughts in the opening scenes, could feel his anger, his pain, at never being given the chance to settle with himself, no matter what, someone always seemed to want to keep pushing at him, bringing him back to who he was, instead of allowing him to move onto something new... sort of reminded me of Michael Corleone, in \"The Godfather\" Well expressed scene. :-)
Really loved the way you had Vegeta feeling from this point:
\"Let them ask, with their snide little grins ‘Where is your Pride?”\"
This line and the following ones, were very well expressed, extremely so. Vegeta\'s rage, his frustration, his need to give into his natural Saiyan instincts, yet his love for Kakarot, which is holding him back at this point, was very well explored. I could completely feel the anger, bursting from the page(computer screen):-) Loved how his rage seemed to calm as his thoughts settled on Kakarot and what he gained being whim.him. Loved this culminating thought at the end of this scene:
\"Nothing was lost.\"
Emotive stuff. Loved it all. :-)
\"“OH SHIT!” And of course it would be his child to interrupt them, because Goten had unfortunately inherited his sense of very bad timing.\"
LOL! Of all the times for Goten to turn up. :-D
“Now that you know,” Vegeta said, “Go away.”
LOL! Loved this. :-)
Love the little remarks about Goku\'s stinky clothes, which were mentioned throughout this chapter. Nicely placed humour, in an otherwise tense setting. :-)
Nice love scene between Goku and Vegeta. Wondering if all is well now, and both me and Goten worry too much, or if there is still something there that Vegeta needs to deal with... the end line was a bit concerning.
Loved this chapter. Definitely looking forward to the next. :-)
I figured that you were pretty swift when it came to writing chapters... \'cause y\'know, 4, sometimes 5, chapters a day... but still, 20 minutes... that\'s pretty impressive. :-)
Felt both sad and worried over Vegeta\'s thoughts in the opening scenes, could feel his anger, his pain, at never being given the chance to settle with himself, no matter what, someone always seemed to want to keep pushing at him, bringing him back to who he was, instead of allowing him to move onto something new... sort of reminded me of Michael Corleone, in \"The Godfather\" Well expressed scene. :-)
Really loved the way you had Vegeta feeling from this point:
\"Let them ask, with their snide little grins ‘Where is your Pride?”\"
This line and the following ones, were very well expressed, extremely so. Vegeta\'s rage, his frustration, his need to give into his natural Saiyan instincts, yet his love for Kakarot, which is holding him back at this point, was very well explored. I could completely feel the anger, bursting from the page(computer screen):-) Loved how his rage seemed to calm as his thoughts settled on Kakarot and what he gained being whim.him. Loved this culminating thought at the end of this scene:
\"Nothing was lost.\"
Emotive stuff. Loved it all. :-)
\"“OH SHIT!” And of course it would be his child to interrupt them, because Goten had unfortunately inherited his sense of very bad timing.\"
LOL! Of all the times for Goten to turn up. :-D
“Now that you know,” Vegeta said, “Go away.”
LOL! Loved this. :-)
Love the little remarks about Goku\'s stinky clothes, which were mentioned throughout this chapter. Nicely placed humour, in an otherwise tense setting. :-)
Nice love scene between Goku and Vegeta. Wondering if all is well now, and both me and Goten worry too much, or if there is still something there that Vegeta needs to deal with... the end line was a bit concerning.
Loved this chapter. Definitely looking forward to the next. :-)
I figured that you were pretty swift when it came to writing chapters... \'cause y\'know, 4, sometimes 5, chapters a day... but still, 20 minutes... that\'s pretty impressive. :-)
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April 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM
This will be a very short review cause I am supposed to be working/writing my fics ^_^ (BTW i have a favour to ask but I\'ll email u. ^_^)
And now on with the review...
First and formost I should tell you that I am glad... (no thats an understatement) I am ecstatic that Tien iad! ad! Athough I am still worried about this uneasy feeling Goten has.
Ah and the meaning of pride... that had to be the best ever view of Vegeta\'s pride I have ever read (and I\'ve read many fics), you should get a medal.
I LOVE THIS FIC! *hugs fic then hugs card for writing it*
(I will email u with my other address which is \'hecate_goddess18@yahoo.co.uk\' ^_^)
And now on with the review...
First and formost I should tell you that I am glad... (no thats an understatement) I am ecstatic that Tien iad! ad! Athough I am still worried about this uneasy feeling Goten has.
Ah and the meaning of pride... that had to be the best ever view of Vegeta\'s pride I have ever read (and I\'ve read many fics), you should get a medal.
I LOVE THIS FIC! *hugs fic then hugs card for writing it*
(I will email u with my other address which is \'hecate_goddess18@yahoo.co.uk\' ^_^)