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May 14, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I love it when Goku gets angry and thinking in swear words. I don\'t get to see much of it often, so it\'s a real treat.
schedule
May 14, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Oww...Goku is kicking ass and he\'s so cocky about it. I love a cocky Goku. Heh, Heh...okay that was just terrible, I know. The end notes was cute too.
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May 14, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Soon, he would face Bardock, enslaver of Juro, and he would call down the Juro Gods to free the minds that Bardock held, to rip away whatever protections the asshole had taken from the unthinking of his kind that lived in their pit of hell. ----- And Krillin gets a spine. It’s about damn time too.
felt the bones crack (referring to Freiza’s tail) ----- Yummy. *did I mention that I was sick and liked torture?* Go Goku *shivers with delight*
felt the bones crack (referring to Freiza’s tail) ----- Yummy. *did I mention that I was sick and liked torture?* Go Goku *shivers with delight*
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May 13, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Okay, I get it. Goku lived through ten years of having that voice in his fucking head, and the whole time he actually thought that he was free. *looks at self in mirror* \"Duh.\"
Vegeta didn\'t have a decade of that voice in his head.
I am sused sed that Goten isn\'t dead. Not only does he have his Gods to worry about, but if Goku\'s insticts took over while Goten was messing with his mind, well that could be really bad.
Well, Chi Chi seemed very satied,ied, but nothing was said about Trunks other than his physical appereance, so I am guessing that he is waiting for his \'happy moment\' for when he actually gets to buy a giraff with Goten. Uh....I mean have sex. :)
Vegeta didn\'t have a decade of that voice in his head.
I am sused sed that Goten isn\'t dead. Not only does he have his Gods to worry about, but if Goku\'s insticts took over while Goten was messing with his mind, well that could be really bad.
Well, Chi Chi seemed very satied,ied, but nothing was said about Trunks other than his physical appereance, so I am guessing that he is waiting for his \'happy moment\' for when he actually gets to buy a giraff with Goten. Uh....I mean have sex. :)
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May 13, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Reviewing chapters 14 up to and including chapter 20
The whole thing with Bulma getting caught by Gohan, happened pretty swiftly... I\'m not sure how this whole thing works for me, she seemed to give up the fight a bit too quickly for me... I don\'t know how I would have honestly reacted in the same situation, knowing what I was going to be facing if I lost the battle, but I would at least have given it a shot before slashing my throat. I\'m not completely sure that I liked this scene... it seemed too orchestrated, and didn\'t feel real, as a consequence, I didn\'t really feel anything for her when I read this.
Krillin, is now starting to annoy me a little, not so much for the way his mind is having trouble accepting how he has done wrong in the way of his faith... I still sympathise with the way this is doing his head in... but basically, whilst he is runnng around crying \'woe is me\'... he\'s not being of much help in this mission, and he really needs to decide just what side of the fence he wants to stand, because in this sort of situation he can\'t afford to keep coming up with explanations of why he can\'t do something... they need to know that they can rely on him, and so yeah, it\'s a bit frustrating that he won\'t accept that he\'s already deeply a part of this, and he needs to finish what he began.
Goten and Trunks certainly do make a formidable pair.
I like that Vegeta and Goku were determined to go and rescue Bulma before any damage could be done to her, I deeply admire Vegeta\'s bravery in re-entering \'the house\' even though he has precious little in the way of real power at the moment, it was an incredible show of courage. I also like the way that Goku went back, determined to rescue Bulma... but I must admit that I find myself wonde why why, if he could just walk straight up to and rescue Bulma right in front of Frieza like that... why all the dicking about with Vegeta like that at the beginning... why did he leave him there in that place a day longer than was necessary?
Pleased that Trunks was determined to stay by, and protect his brother, I like that determined spirit, I like that he doesn\'t waver from it.
\"(Bardock hates him you know. Hates his son with every single fiber in his body. And he loves him just that same way.)\"
\"Who cared? The fucker was still going to die.\"
Totally agree, what he did to Goku, is not any love that I know of.
Totally sympathised with Vegeta as he stood in \'the house\' feeling useless because he was not strong enough to fight, and pleased that he was determined to remedy that fact as soon as possible... proud of the fact that he stood there anyway, symbolising his battle against the bastard who enslaved him for so much of his young life.
Still liking ChiChi, although at times she defintely creeps me out. Love that Vegeta is proud of his brother. :-)
\"Those first days, those were the worst of days because you remembered what you were—really were—and you knew that you were going to lose yourself. Punched the new pleasure button yourself and killed off the parts of you that you wanted to keep. Those were the very worst of days.\"
Oh God... this just keeps getting worse, I hate that fucking Frieza!
\"...And here stood the maggot himself, with that little smirk, telling him that ‘yes you too were a bartered good.’\"
That must have been a huge kick in the gut... even suspecting as much, is nothing like knowing it for a fact. I think that the last ties between Goku and Bardock may just have been severed.
\"...didn’t pity him, but admired that strength deeply. Vowed within his own mind to one day find a way to release Goten from the Juro Gods’ wrath.\"
Love that Vegeta is planning on doing this, hope that one day he can.
Hmmm, overall, these chapters had some good and some not so good moments (for me that is) but in spite of that, it\'s still a very compelling read.
Sorry, I forgot to answer your responses to me from my first batched review....
\"Ah, Goku isn’t really ticked off at the Prince. He’s just like ‘What Else Can I take?’...\"
Okay, thanks for answering this... makes sense, especially about that mind control thing from Bardock.
\"...So he’s just been asked to take down his father who traded the Prince and etc. He was still ticked about finding out his whole ‘rescue mission’ was a lie and that his father was evil. So he said if it was true he’d help Vegeta, but that doesn’t mean (at that point) he’s thrilled about it.\"
Again, thanks for explaining this... the scene makes more sense now. :-)
\"Vegeta thinks he’s “using” Goku the same way that his father “used” him to defeat his enemies. Like an all-purpose solider...\" \" ...(One would notice that Vegeta has a complex where he believes everything is his fault.\"
Ah, yeah... I have noticed that and yes, it does explain his choice of words.
\"Glad to have you reading. *winks significantly * Also pleased to see that you are finding the fleshy parts of the story interesting. (All things considered.)\"
Huh? Yeah... I take it this is in response to my e-mail... not the \'fleshy parts\', that sounds so hentai, and although I\'m not adverse to that at all... I am in this fic... it\'s not the right place for it... I was referring to the fleshed out part of the story, in relation to what I knew of the basic plot at that point.
Nearly caught up... butm sum super tired now, so I\'ll read the rest tomorrow.
The whole thing with Bulma getting caught by Gohan, happened pretty swiftly... I\'m not sure how this whole thing works for me, she seemed to give up the fight a bit too quickly for me... I don\'t know how I would have honestly reacted in the same situation, knowing what I was going to be facing if I lost the battle, but I would at least have given it a shot before slashing my throat. I\'m not completely sure that I liked this scene... it seemed too orchestrated, and didn\'t feel real, as a consequence, I didn\'t really feel anything for her when I read this.
Krillin, is now starting to annoy me a little, not so much for the way his mind is having trouble accepting how he has done wrong in the way of his faith... I still sympathise with the way this is doing his head in... but basically, whilst he is runnng around crying \'woe is me\'... he\'s not being of much help in this mission, and he really needs to decide just what side of the fence he wants to stand, because in this sort of situation he can\'t afford to keep coming up with explanations of why he can\'t do something... they need to know that they can rely on him, and so yeah, it\'s a bit frustrating that he won\'t accept that he\'s already deeply a part of this, and he needs to finish what he began.
Goten and Trunks certainly do make a formidable pair.
I like that Vegeta and Goku were determined to go and rescue Bulma before any damage could be done to her, I deeply admire Vegeta\'s bravery in re-entering \'the house\' even though he has precious little in the way of real power at the moment, it was an incredible show of courage. I also like the way that Goku went back, determined to rescue Bulma... but I must admit that I find myself wonde why why, if he could just walk straight up to and rescue Bulma right in front of Frieza like that... why all the dicking about with Vegeta like that at the beginning... why did he leave him there in that place a day longer than was necessary?
Pleased that Trunks was determined to stay by, and protect his brother, I like that determined spirit, I like that he doesn\'t waver from it.
\"(Bardock hates him you know. Hates his son with every single fiber in his body. And he loves him just that same way.)\"
\"Who cared? The fucker was still going to die.\"
Totally agree, what he did to Goku, is not any love that I know of.
Totally sympathised with Vegeta as he stood in \'the house\' feeling useless because he was not strong enough to fight, and pleased that he was determined to remedy that fact as soon as possible... proud of the fact that he stood there anyway, symbolising his battle against the bastard who enslaved him for so much of his young life.
Still liking ChiChi, although at times she defintely creeps me out. Love that Vegeta is proud of his brother. :-)
\"Those first days, those were the worst of days because you remembered what you were—really were—and you knew that you were going to lose yourself. Punched the new pleasure button yourself and killed off the parts of you that you wanted to keep. Those were the very worst of days.\"
Oh God... this just keeps getting worse, I hate that fucking Frieza!
\"...And here stood the maggot himself, with that little smirk, telling him that ‘yes you too were a bartered good.’\"
That must have been a huge kick in the gut... even suspecting as much, is nothing like knowing it for a fact. I think that the last ties between Goku and Bardock may just have been severed.
\"...didn’t pity him, but admired that strength deeply. Vowed within his own mind to one day find a way to release Goten from the Juro Gods’ wrath.\"
Love that Vegeta is planning on doing this, hope that one day he can.
Hmmm, overall, these chapters had some good and some not so good moments (for me that is) but in spite of that, it\'s still a very compelling read.
Sorry, I forgot to answer your responses to me from my first batched review....
\"Ah, Goku isn’t really ticked off at the Prince. He’s just like ‘What Else Can I take?’...\"
Okay, thanks for answering this... makes sense, especially about that mind control thing from Bardock.
\"...So he’s just been asked to take down his father who traded the Prince and etc. He was still ticked about finding out his whole ‘rescue mission’ was a lie and that his father was evil. So he said if it was true he’d help Vegeta, but that doesn’t mean (at that point) he’s thrilled about it.\"
Again, thanks for explaining this... the scene makes more sense now. :-)
\"Vegeta thinks he’s “using” Goku the same way that his father “used” him to defeat his enemies. Like an all-purpose solider...\" \" ...(One would notice that Vegeta has a complex where he believes everything is his fault.\"
Ah, yeah... I have noticed that and yes, it does explain his choice of words.
\"Glad to have you reading. *winks significantly * Also pleased to see that you are finding the fleshy parts of the story interesting. (All things considered.)\"
Huh? Yeah... I take it this is in response to my e-mail... not the \'fleshy parts\', that sounds so hentai, and although I\'m not adverse to that at all... I am in this fic... it\'s not the right place for it... I was referring to the fleshed out part of the story, in relation to what I knew of the basic plot at that point.
Nearly caught up... butm sum super tired now, so I\'ll read the rest tomorrow.
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May 13, 2004 at 12:00 AM
“I sent them out, little addiction,” she whispered, “Secrets such as theirs are to remain secrets. Your mind is filthy with it. And tomorrow when the tyrant dies… You will wash it all clean.” LOL
I think that Trunks is secretly addicted to Goten and Chichi knows it.
Looking forward to more of the story.
I like you sense of humor.
I think that Trunks is secretly addicted to Goten and Chichi knows it.
Looking forward to more of the story.
I like you sense of humor.
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May 13, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Reviewing chapters 10 up to and including chapter 13
Lots happening over these chapters, starting to get a \'feel\' for the other characters. So far, I\'m really liking ChiChi, she\'s cr, ye, yet at the same time, her calm view of things is sort of reassuring in it\'s strength of conviction...
\"... all of you standing here today, all of you are Bardock’s strongest allies. He knows you would rather die on this ship than face him. THAT,” she hissed, clicked her teeth together as her forehead started to darken, as it seemed like her face changed, morphing into something that was a true horror, “Is why he chose you...\"
I liked the whole of this speech... eveyone who had heard of Trunks was floundering around in a sea of fear and long-held prejudices, and they needed this sort of \'kick up the arse\' to make them see how they were still being led around by Bardock. I really liked how Vegeta managed to snap out of his semi catatonia, and start to assert himself at this point even though he was still being ruled by the drug, and his mind was full of unanswered questions about Bardock, the why\'s of it all... I love his determination to stay strong, even through those moments when his skin aches and itches for the touch of warmth... I can\'t even begin to comprehend what that must be like, but my heart aches for both Vegeta and Goku.
Speaking of Goku... I liked this:
\"...Let them think that anything could stop Bardock. That’s the way to do it, Goku! Make them believe so you could believe it yourself.\"
As with Vegeta, I like how Goku is exhibiting a strength that he doesn\'t necessarily feel. His inability to determine just how he feels about everything that he has just recently discovered about his father must surely be doing his head in. His desire to stay focused is commendable.
Skipping back a bit... I am interested in this whole name thing with Goku... I\'m wondering why Goku is his real name, and Kakarot is the name that Frieza gave him... Kakarot being more Saiyan and all... Also, the fact that Krillin thinks of him initially as Kakarot, and has to correct himself is somewhat surprising to me... I would have thought that Bardock would have always referred to Goku, as Goku, when they were making their plans to \'rescue\' him.
The humming business has definitely interested me...
\"...but humming very softly as if it was just now beginning to understand what was happening. As if something was being triggered.\"
So, naturally I was dead wrong way back when I assumed that Bardock was humming in an attempt to control his anger, back when he \'rescued\' Goku... so I\'m now assumong that the humming has some sort of controlling affect on Goku... Hmm, so Goku is probably not quite as \'free\' as he thnks he is.
\"And you, his conscience reminded him, allowed Bardock access to that mind.\"
At this stage I\'m not sure just how much damage Krillin is inadvertently responsible for in the case of the Prince and Goku, when he first set out to help Bardock, but he himself is certainly feeling some pretty deep guilt... this is going to do some major damage in the way he views himself within his faith. Sheesh, first Goku, then Ve, th, then Krillin... isn\'t Bardock just a little ray of sunshine? >:-(
As for the other characters... I deeply like Trunks! His life hasn\'t exactly been a joy either. The puritanical nature of the Juro\'s and the Spider people, definitely do not make me like those races very much, and I am amazed at Krillin\'s and ChiChi\'s lack of open judgement... surprisingly, it is Bulma who shows the most disgust... or fear...
\"Trunks snorted. “Prejudice will get you killed,” he said.\"
\"“By you?” Bulma inquired.\"
Gotta admit, although I did use this as a point in my previous statement, I also found it quite funny at the same time.
Really feel for Trunks, spending ten long years searching for his older brother, whilst knowing absolutely nothing about him.. not even his name... must have been so frustrating for him at times... I\'m glad that he has found him now. :-)
Really loved this:
\"...and STOP IT VEGETA!\"
\"STOP STOP STOP!\"
\"He was stronger that the fucking maggot that had taken him. Stronger than fucking Bardock with his fucking plan and his superior ability to see the future. He would defeat both of them and he would do it while he kept himself as he had always been. The Prince.\"
I love that Vegeta is determined not to let what happened to him destroy who he essentially is... I imagine that it\'s not going to be a simple as all this, but I love that he is staying strong enough to fight back those horrible, drug-induced feelings that keep raping his mind.
Bardock seems to have a personal link of some sort or another with each member of this group, I\'m wondering if it was his plan all along to use each and every member in his schemes and then ultimately destroy them along with the Prince, or if it was just his \'lucky break\' to have these people at his disposal.
This made me sad...
\"Then he turned to the Prince, saw that itching was driving him to distraction now, because he was clawing at his own arm-not even realizing it-and his hand still hovered there around his mouth.\"
\"And Vegeta turned to look at him, curled his hands into fists and said: “I don’t want this.”\"
Just tragic the way these two still are driven by that need to feel the touch, the warmth of another body. I love that Vegeta refused to use Goku, and the fact that Goku tried to fight his own desire for Vegeta... I admire their inner strength, I really do... and I love that you didn\'t delve into this very personal moment for them... the chapter ended well.
Will read more later. :-)
Lots happening over these chapters, starting to get a \'feel\' for the other characters. So far, I\'m really liking ChiChi, she\'s cr, ye, yet at the same time, her calm view of things is sort of reassuring in it\'s strength of conviction...
\"... all of you standing here today, all of you are Bardock’s strongest allies. He knows you would rather die on this ship than face him. THAT,” she hissed, clicked her teeth together as her forehead started to darken, as it seemed like her face changed, morphing into something that was a true horror, “Is why he chose you...\"
I liked the whole of this speech... eveyone who had heard of Trunks was floundering around in a sea of fear and long-held prejudices, and they needed this sort of \'kick up the arse\' to make them see how they were still being led around by Bardock. I really liked how Vegeta managed to snap out of his semi catatonia, and start to assert himself at this point even though he was still being ruled by the drug, and his mind was full of unanswered questions about Bardock, the why\'s of it all... I love his determination to stay strong, even through those moments when his skin aches and itches for the touch of warmth... I can\'t even begin to comprehend what that must be like, but my heart aches for both Vegeta and Goku.
Speaking of Goku... I liked this:
\"...Let them think that anything could stop Bardock. That’s the way to do it, Goku! Make them believe so you could believe it yourself.\"
As with Vegeta, I like how Goku is exhibiting a strength that he doesn\'t necessarily feel. His inability to determine just how he feels about everything that he has just recently discovered about his father must surely be doing his head in. His desire to stay focused is commendable.
Skipping back a bit... I am interested in this whole name thing with Goku... I\'m wondering why Goku is his real name, and Kakarot is the name that Frieza gave him... Kakarot being more Saiyan and all... Also, the fact that Krillin thinks of him initially as Kakarot, and has to correct himself is somewhat surprising to me... I would have thought that Bardock would have always referred to Goku, as Goku, when they were making their plans to \'rescue\' him.
The humming business has definitely interested me...
\"...but humming very softly as if it was just now beginning to understand what was happening. As if something was being triggered.\"
So, naturally I was dead wrong way back when I assumed that Bardock was humming in an attempt to control his anger, back when he \'rescued\' Goku... so I\'m now assumong that the humming has some sort of controlling affect on Goku... Hmm, so Goku is probably not quite as \'free\' as he thnks he is.
\"And you, his conscience reminded him, allowed Bardock access to that mind.\"
At this stage I\'m not sure just how much damage Krillin is inadvertently responsible for in the case of the Prince and Goku, when he first set out to help Bardock, but he himself is certainly feeling some pretty deep guilt... this is going to do some major damage in the way he views himself within his faith. Sheesh, first Goku, then Ve, th, then Krillin... isn\'t Bardock just a little ray of sunshine? >:-(
As for the other characters... I deeply like Trunks! His life hasn\'t exactly been a joy either. The puritanical nature of the Juro\'s and the Spider people, definitely do not make me like those races very much, and I am amazed at Krillin\'s and ChiChi\'s lack of open judgement... surprisingly, it is Bulma who shows the most disgust... or fear...
\"Trunks snorted. “Prejudice will get you killed,” he said.\"
\"“By you?” Bulma inquired.\"
Gotta admit, although I did use this as a point in my previous statement, I also found it quite funny at the same time.
Really feel for Trunks, spending ten long years searching for his older brother, whilst knowing absolutely nothing about him.. not even his name... must have been so frustrating for him at times... I\'m glad that he has found him now. :-)
Really loved this:
\"...and STOP IT VEGETA!\"
\"STOP STOP STOP!\"
\"He was stronger that the fucking maggot that had taken him. Stronger than fucking Bardock with his fucking plan and his superior ability to see the future. He would defeat both of them and he would do it while he kept himself as he had always been. The Prince.\"
I love that Vegeta is determined not to let what happened to him destroy who he essentially is... I imagine that it\'s not going to be a simple as all this, but I love that he is staying strong enough to fight back those horrible, drug-induced feelings that keep raping his mind.
Bardock seems to have a personal link of some sort or another with each member of this group, I\'m wondering if it was his plan all along to use each and every member in his schemes and then ultimately destroy them along with the Prince, or if it was just his \'lucky break\' to have these people at his disposal.
This made me sad...
\"Then he turned to the Prince, saw that itching was driving him to distraction now, because he was clawing at his own arm-not even realizing it-and his hand still hovered there around his mouth.\"
\"And Vegeta turned to look at him, curled his hands into fists and said: “I don’t want this.”\"
Just tragic the way these two still are driven by that need to feel the touch, the warmth of another body. I love that Vegeta refused to use Goku, and the fact that Goku tried to fight his own desire for Vegeta... I admire their inner strength, I really do... and I love that you didn\'t delve into this very personal moment for them... the chapter ended well.
Will read more later. :-)
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May 13, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Goodness...I have missed so much. Where to begin. I am glad that Bulma is back but at first I wondered why Goku didn\'t kill that bastard Frieza when he had the chance. Now I know...great for the effect.
I feel bad for Goten and Trunks, but I am glad that bad ass Trunks and Chi finally got it on and over with. Geez the sexual tension was about to kill me. I do have a question though, would those wierd pink things that Bardock sent after Trunks be the Tamena-jin of Planet Tamanegi, they are idiots after all. And I wrote them and I can\'t even pronounce it. Just wishful thinking. :)
Poor Goku, his mind is a mess. It is a comfort that he and the Prince are toge in in this.
I feel bad for Goten and Trunks, but I am glad that bad ass Trunks and Chi finally got it on and over with. Geez the sexual tension was about to kill me. I do have a question though, would those wierd pink things that Bardock sent after Trunks be the Tamena-jin of Planet Tamanegi, they are idiots after all. And I wrote them and I can\'t even pronounce it. Just wishful thinking. :)
Poor Goku, his mind is a mess. It is a comfort that he and the Prince are toge in in this.
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May 12, 2004 at 12:00 AM
That was very understanding of Goten. Of course, I know that he gets to \'watch\' if he wants to.
Interesting that Goku\'s mind is a mess and Vegeta\'s isn\'t. I hope that gets explained eventually.
Very smart of Trunks to make a clearing, that way he can see whatever it is that is coming his direction.
*rubs hands in anticipation* I can\'t wait for Trunks and Goten to.....?
Interesting that Goku\'s mind is a mess and Vegeta\'s isn\'t. I hope that gets explained eventually.
Very smart of Trunks to make a clearing, that way he can see whatever it is that is coming his direction.
*rubs hands in anticipation* I can\'t wait for Trunks and Goten to.....?
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May 11, 2004 at 12:00 AM
YEAH Goten! Oh, and thank Chi Chi for making him explain it, will ya? That\'s very exciting news. I wonder how far behind Goku Vegeta will take to become SSJ.
kie!kie! LEMONS!
kie!kie! LEMONS!