rate_review Reviews

I like this /new/ Goku!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think Vegeta didn't notice Goku until he stopped his facade!!!!
Please /CONTINUE/ writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interesting fic! I've always been into how people interpret whether goku is actually secretly intelligent or just simple. It'd be great to see the next chapter, if you've got more in mind. Nice job with the writing! Although, there was a few spelling errors I think, but I've been seeing that in nearly all of the stories. I don't know, but hope you keep updating, if not, oh well. :) *hugs, blood, and chocolate*

O.O....WOW!!! Its only 3ch\'s into it and I\'m already saying WOW!!!! I love it simply LOVE IT!!! Is Kakkarot going to have little Vegetas and Kakkarots? Hee Hee I hope so.......^__^

Tib-chan~ War-chan! You should know that it has to have a romantic feel to it like, like a silk sheet bed with rose plates! And cindles! Not restroom sex! Thats eeky! >P

Don\'t mind what Tibys is saying I like where this is going and if its eeky restroom sex (as Tib-chan states) then I\'m all for it! Tib-chan go back into the bedroom! No one whats to hear you whine about their storys!

*Tib-chan goes sulking and crying quitely out of the computer room*

O.o; Oh, shit I made her cry....Well Very good story! I\'m hopeing for an UPDATE REAL SOON!!!!!

*Goes running off to try and make Tib-chan happy agian*

Ja ne
IHopeTib-ChansNotTooUpsetWithMeO.O
Miss War-chan

P.S.> Don\'t forget what I said! You NEED to UPDATE!!!!

huh? where\'s the rest of it? damnit i hate cliff hangers.....please....please continue. I hope this story isn\'t going to be just about saiyan sex..although that is a plus...but also about love. LOL i sound like a loser....anyway please update soon

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH o_o
you cant stop there (sniff)
PLEASE write more very very very very soon
you are a not nice for brekking the fic ther
^_^
be nice and write sooooooooooooooon PLEASE PLEASE

haruka

Please write more for me!!!!!! i love the story especially the last chapter!!!!!!! please go on!!!!!!!!
*begs on hands and knees*

Ok, since no one else on your review board wants to say it or leave any constructive criticism (which I\'d say is necessary sometimes) I\'ll do it. Its a good story and a GREAT fucking idea to make Goku intelligent! That takes fucking balls right there when you take into account the fact that half the morons around here use Goku\'s apparent idiocy as a plot for their boring, talent deprived storylines. You aren\'t being cliche (for the most part) and that\'s greatly appreciated.

But you write like a driving manual. There\'s very little emotion, the language usage is an absolute bore and all-in-all, about as entertaining as watching my grandmother eat peas one at a time. Its dull and meaningless. Reminds me strangely of a child\'s first book. \"Jack can run. Jack ran. Jack ran fast.\" Try to put some emphasis on things, spice them up a little. And a bit of a dictionary run through would also liven up the vocab that you seem to have sacrificed along the way. Goku and Chi Chi in the first chapter are breaking up. A marriage of how many years is coming to a conclusion and its written like a walk through the mall. Where\'s the inner conflict? Or emotion? Or past?

And how they speak? UGH!

\"Your silence tells me all I need to know. I refuse to stay in a marriage where love is not the key factor. But don’t feel guilty Goku because you see, I don’t love you anymore either. But I’ve found someone whom I do.”

Do people ACTUALLY speak like that? Or was that a sad attempt to make the language a little more poetic? Oy! The characters talk as if they\'re reading a pop-up book to their kid at 3 in the morning. \"Blah blah blah, but yeah.. yawn* its ok, cuz like... yeah, I found someone else too.\" Make it prettier or something!
For GOD\'S SAKE! Find a dictionary!

I\'ve always found that when writing, try to use the same emotions that you have. Say that YOU had been married for a long time, your marriage was breaking up. Dont you think it\'d be a little more eventful then \"yeah, you\'re smart now and dont love me, but its ok cuz I dont love you anymore and I\'ve found someone whom I do.\"...

Other than that, and that\'s just the first chapter but I somehow dont see myself progressing any further simply because I dont like the story, its not bad at all. I like the idea of Goku having a brain.. and if anyone can appreciate the struggle it is to create him that way, its me. Though Akira created all the characters in a very 2 dimensional way, he made Goku by far the least complex. Or at least, that was his original intent, and if it weren\'t for writers like you, he might have gotten his wish. But you broke the mold and really said a large \"fuck you\" to fanfiction norms. That\'s a sign of a true fanfiction writer. Not just a fanfiction writer, but a writer period. I dont know how old you are, it could be anything and I\'ve been surprised before, but I\'d say you honestly have alot of potential.

Keep up the creativity and work harder on the delivery.

Camaro

I like it. A tad confused why Goku\'s sudden intelligence turns Vegeta into a sex kitten, but maybe genius is a turn-on for him. I mean, he was with Bulma.

"A physique no human would ever have" Wow, that had me good very nice quote. I love you. (NOT LIKE THAT YOU HENTAI'S)

Now that was just damned mean. *grins*