schedule
October 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I loathe you and your evil cliff hangers! I love this fic, I love the plot, and the general idea of it. Good work on this chapter! It was soooo sad *cries*. I only have one suggestion for you (Im in a creative writting class and now am used to critiquing other people's work) you change tenses in Gohan's dream, from past to present- and it was a bit confusing. If you clean that up then I think this chapter would be absolutely positively perfect! You best hurry out with the next one though, I dont like to be kept waiting!^.~
LoL, congrats again on an awesome idea and awesome fic- I shall be checking daily for the next chapter.
LoL, congrats again on an awesome idea and awesome fic- I shall be checking daily for the next chapter.
schedule
October 25, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Oh...but there is new suspense. What will Trunks decided? I love it. I really like how you discribed the flashback/dream. How Gohan could only watch and do nothing about it. Very cool.
schedule
October 22, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Okay the first chapter was amasing but with this second one you've really got me hooked. What did Gohan do?! I have to know how. Very good with the suspense by the way. I like this alot.
schedule
October 21, 2004 at 12:00 AM
i like this fic! Its different and...dun, dun, dun.....mysterious?!?!?!
*whine*What did Gohan dooooo....i wanna knowwwww*pout*
Update quick and save me from the pouting!!
*chuckle*
*whine*What did Gohan dooooo....i wanna knowwwww*pout*
Update quick and save me from the pouting!!
*chuckle*
schedule
October 19, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Well written, interesting start. I am curious to see where this will go. I'm wondering, of course, what has happened that Gohan has been kept away from his daughter, and how Trunks has been able to enforce it. It has to be something along the lines of blackmail, I suspect.