schedule
March 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
A friend recommneded this story to me and its really great. i hope you updates soon!
sue
sue
schedule
March 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Damn, this is a really great fanfiction. I actually read it last night and knew that I had to come back and review it. It\'s actually sensational, very sexy, seductive and can keep you reading the entire way through. With me, I know that I have the habit of skipping ahead on some things or skimming rather then reading all the words... with your fic, I was so impressed by how well each sentence fit, your words a great balance of details and descriptions.
This is just really great and I had so many awesome points to make last night and now can\'t remember them! hahaha, but I will try because I noticed that when you asked for reviews, you wanted them to be very specific about things. (a great idea by the way) I liked that you kept the real reason for Gohan\'s behavior a secret and let the reader draw their own conclusions before you reveal it. (awesome way to keep me reading!) I loved that you had Vegeta travel into the future to get Trunks for Bulma, (the interaction with future Bulma a leaving a TAD to be desired but it\'s ok) and that the future Bulma\'s reaction was very believable. I\'ve read fics where she was completely fine with Vegeta\'s treatment of the other Bulma but you made her emotions real and very human: jealousy and envy.
You move along at a very good pace, though I think at times you COULD have slowed down a bit and taken it easy on people\'s reactions to things... like how Bulma just started crying at the table at the restaurant.. I think perhaps that might have been taken a little easier but then, I\'m a frigid, cold hearted bitch so who knows.. haha
Gah, I just REALLY like this story.. what else. You made Trunks blush a bit too much, using the whole \"reddening cheeks\" description almost every paragraph until the reader was basically like \"poor kid will have rozasia by the time he\'s 25\"... so that got a bit old but I just ADORE how sexy you\'ve made Gohan while at the same time emphasizing the facade he uses. While the reader recognizes the problem, we can\'t HELP but be drawn to this dark, angelic monster.
Perhaps though, it\'s time to focus a little more on how Trunks feels about HIS OWN feelings towards Gohan. We know that Gohan is OBVIOUSLY gay but how is it that Trunks is doing all this? Is he just drunk? or more?
You\'re probably already planning all this out so I\'m just making tiny suggestions along the way. But man, what a creative, sexy fic. It\'s just... really great and I do hope you\'ll continue very soon. Until then, I\'ll be recommending this story to others.
Camaro
This is just really great and I had so many awesome points to make last night and now can\'t remember them! hahaha, but I will try because I noticed that when you asked for reviews, you wanted them to be very specific about things. (a great idea by the way) I liked that you kept the real reason for Gohan\'s behavior a secret and let the reader draw their own conclusions before you reveal it. (awesome way to keep me reading!) I loved that you had Vegeta travel into the future to get Trunks for Bulma, (the interaction with future Bulma a leaving a TAD to be desired but it\'s ok) and that the future Bulma\'s reaction was very believable. I\'ve read fics where she was completely fine with Vegeta\'s treatment of the other Bulma but you made her emotions real and very human: jealousy and envy.
You move along at a very good pace, though I think at times you COULD have slowed down a bit and taken it easy on people\'s reactions to things... like how Bulma just started crying at the table at the restaurant.. I think perhaps that might have been taken a little easier but then, I\'m a frigid, cold hearted bitch so who knows.. haha
Gah, I just REALLY like this story.. what else. You made Trunks blush a bit too much, using the whole \"reddening cheeks\" description almost every paragraph until the reader was basically like \"poor kid will have rozasia by the time he\'s 25\"... so that got a bit old but I just ADORE how sexy you\'ve made Gohan while at the same time emphasizing the facade he uses. While the reader recognizes the problem, we can\'t HELP but be drawn to this dark, angelic monster.
Perhaps though, it\'s time to focus a little more on how Trunks feels about HIS OWN feelings towards Gohan. We know that Gohan is OBVIOUSLY gay but how is it that Trunks is doing all this? Is he just drunk? or more?
You\'re probably already planning all this out so I\'m just making tiny suggestions along the way. But man, what a creative, sexy fic. It\'s just... really great and I do hope you\'ll continue very soon. Until then, I\'ll be recommending this story to others.
Camaro
schedule
March 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Woo!! I am SO loving\' this!!! One of the best fics I\'ve read in a while! Makes me so happy! ^o^
schedule
March 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oh! I am VERY interested! I hope you\'re a fast updater, because I really want to know what happens next!
schedule
March 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Okay, so I have reveiwed this in other places, but I wanted to leave one here.
This Story is SOOOOO good. The angst in the plot is so thick. And for everyone who hasn\'t read further than chapter 1, the lemons get better.
This Story is SOOOOO good. The angst in the plot is so thick. And for everyone who hasn\'t read further than chapter 1, the lemons get better.