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for Envious Intentions

by DrkAlchemist

schedule April 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Your spelling is off, but the story is good so far. I would suggest spacing out the words more into paragraphs, it does make it easier to read. So far I like the story. Envy should get his ass kicked for saying such things to Ed though, who asked that cross dressing palm tree . . . anyway, can't wait to read the next chapter.
person Felix
schedule November 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I think its nice tho also a bit unclear
person Tahiri
schedule January 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I like this, update soon please, it would be a little easier if you gave a bit of detail to where he's kept because i couldn't really get the concept of being frozen in ice but not, just a suggestion.
person Sakura-sabn
schedule December 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Waii! Can't get enough! Update soon! <=)
person Spark
schedule September 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
ARE YOU EVER GOING TO UP DATE!!! AHHHH!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!
person AJAngelique
schedule September 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
MORE MORE MORE MORE!!!!!
person Debbie
schedule August 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey, great story! I love how you use so much descripttion in your story, it makes it very entertaining to read! Just one suggestion, though; more paragraghs. I don\'t mean make it longer, just punctuate your story a bit better. I know it\'s a pain, and it\'s sometimes hard to know where a thought ends, but you really need to use paragraphs more effectively. That is the ONLY thing that is keeping this story from being an absolutly AWESOME read! Hell, if you want, I\'ll be a beta reader for you. It absolutly kills me to see a story as good as this held back by something as stupid as grammar.
If you\'re interested in my beta-ing your stories (which I would LOVE to do!) drop me an e-mail! I may be picky to the point of insanity, but isn\'t that a good trait in a beta? ^_^ Any-who love love LOVE the story!
person Spark
schedule June 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
UPDATE SOON PLEASE!!! ^__^
person Tamura
schedule April 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
sounds good. there are so far envy/ed pairings as is.
person Cringe
schedule March 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hate you? No way, I loove you! MOOORE!

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