rate_review Reviews

You put Hughes in yaoi. ^^ I love you. I agree with the other reviewers about the use of \"Edo\" and \"Taller\" and \"Paler\". Overall the writing was very good though. If you\'re interested in a beta reader, I\'d be glad to take the position. Just email me.

I would agree for the most part that it\'s a good fic, more thought out than others. Only a couple things bothered me. First, the use of \"Edo\" instead of \"Ed\". I understand that Edo might be how it\'s pronounced in Japanese, but it\'s still spelled Ed, and it seems incredibly insulting to misspell or mispronounce someone\'s name intentionally. Second, the use of descriptive words instead of names. It\'s cool to every so often use a nickname or descriptive word for Hughes or Mustang, but there were times around the middle of the story where I forgot who was in the story besides Ed since the character\'s became \"Taller\" and \"Paler\". There\'s no reason for not using character\'s names more than once, or even everytime something happens to the characters. Descriptive references are flavor words, not the only thing to use for each character. On the whole, the sex scene was generally mature and written well, again, unlike most of the fiction that has been dumped on this archive, which is slowly evolving into FF.net. Keep writing, and if you haven\'t already, invest in a beta reader, and listen to them, they\'re invaluable.

that was a good fic. wow, i never pictured hughes as gay, what with how happy he seems with his wife, and how happy he is about his daughter....but hey, people have secrets, right? but there was a technical difficulty that kept bothering me throughout. no, not ed\'s need to masturbate (rather than pure shock and horror, as one would expect from him; or maybe for him to transfigure the wall of the closet so he could escape...) but....\"hot load\"and \"hot cum\" bothered me a bit::: semen is never hot. ever. semen is stored within the body at slightly below body temperature, so the spermies don\'t die. that\'s why guys\' balls hang loose in the heat (to swing in the breeze ^_^;) and nestle in close when it\'s cold outside. many fic writiers make this mistake, and i just thought you\'d like to know. i have a friend who\'s a fic writer who did the same thing for a while and i had to tell her as well. if you argue \"but everyone else\'s fics say that too.....\" i will laugh, because \"everyone else\" (other fic writers) are commonly virginal. anyways, beyond that it was a good fic that provokes questions in my mind and makes me want to watch FMA again. ^_^

P.S. sorry i\'m so technically correct...i can\'t help it. XD

so you mean that hughes and edo? sweet, i never even thought of that pairing. boy, does that sound hot. i hope you add more but with edo and hughes^_^V

Oh shit!! (crosses legs) Damn that was HOT HOT HOT!!! 0,0’ Really nice hot lemon!! Good job!! Please do a 3-some..if you get the chance..that would be soo hot!!

Thanks for the compliments, I may consider the threesome. As for the marraige thing, yes I am fully aware of that. But, if you don\'t like the pairing, then don\'t read it. Oh, and to explain Edo. That\'s the pet-name and pronunciation in the original, so since I don\'t watch most of the dub, I tend to write with the Japanese style. *Shrugs.*

SPICY!! Roy/Maes naughtiness? I LIKE! Now add Edo-kun in there for a three-way and I\'ll be in a state of bliss!

Meh, the writing\'s not bad, I\'ll give you that. Two things, however, bother me greatly about his fic: a) Hughes is married, to a woman no less, and b) Edo? Um...his name is Ed. Edward. Not Edo.