rate_review Reviews

awesome fic please write more soon

i like this fic update soon

I enjoyed reading this story. Keep up the good work.

I like the story, but you have a lot of mistakes like spelling, shifting verb tenses, and just not making sense at times. You kept spelling secret as secrete and glad as glade among many other misspellings. I don\'t really mind when people misspell words, but when you spell certain words incorrectly over and over again, it tells me that you\'re not mistyping; you just don\'t know how to spell the word. In addition, you have quite a few sentences where your verbs switch tenses.

\"One day, Videl pissed mom so bad that she throw her out the window and then chased her off the land.\" Both verbs should have been past tense here.

For the most part, I can piece together what you\'re saying and make sense from it, but this one small part...

“That? You wanted me to tell her that you’re still single? Refuse to fine someone to love and settle down? And how you’re pig headed fool to know that you have someone who loves you…”

I don\'t know how it sounded in your head, but it\'s hard to comprehend, assuming people can make sense of it at all.

Now, I don\'t want you to flip a bitch about this review. I like your story. Honestly, I do. It has a solid storyline and when you were in first person persective, I thought you were doing an incredible job if you overlook the mistakes. I wrote this review because I want you to improve your writing by fixing those mistakes, so don\'t go deleting this fic or changing your pen name. I hope to see a chapter 2 soon.

omg please continue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepease ok bye.........PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I really really like this. And the whole unrequited-love/angst of vegetaxgohan is the best!