rate_review Reviews

Poor Gohan!!!! (︶︹︺ )  ... His Brother died too!!?? (⋟﹏⋞) ... That is hard... ╥﹏╥

IT'S SOO SAAAD!!!!!

Interesting plot, but all of the characters are just acting way too OOC for my liking. Piccolo's bugging the hell out of me. For one, he'd never call Gohan, "Gohan-chan." Hearing him call Gohan that just creeps me out. "-chan" is generally used by girls talking to girls, or girls talking to an extremely close guy, like their son, husband, or boyfriend. Even if Piccolo was in a relationship with Gohan, I just honestly can't picture him calling Gohan, "Gohan-chan." Also, Piccolo's not the mushy type. I think that if Chichi were to die, he would simply let Gohan cry it out, while giving him a few comforting words. If he did have feelings for Gohan, I think he would keep them to himself until the last possible moment. I'd actually think it would have to be Gohan who'd make the first move.

It also really bugged me how cold Gohan came off. His mother just died. She killed herself. His father died. His brother's gone. He should be an emotional wreck! For him to just say, "there's no point crying over spilled blood," well...that's just cold, which just isn't Gohan. Gohan's a pretty emotional character. Death isn't something you can just shrug off. You'd have to literally not have a heart to just shrug it off. It's been a year and a half since my grandmother died, but I still cry about it all the time. I don't cry often, mind you. It takes quite a bit.

Anyway, overall, I just think the characters are too OOC.

Okay....umm...interesting plot but talk about OOC, hell everyone\'s out of character, ChiChi would never kill herself b/c she\'s much too strong, Gohan would never be such an asshole to anybody because it is not in his nature and PICCOLO...don\'t even get me started...look if you want to write this you should show how everyone feels and how they came to be so unlike themselves but it is a fan fiction so whatever, I don\'t know, it\'s just a suggestion.

That did not go well at all!! I hope Gohan can get over his grief and accept Piccolo\'s love. Hurry with the next chapter!!!

How sad. Great first chapter!! Please continue!!

^_^ Awesome, ...re-editing. For a little while there I was worried you were upset about the review and took the story down for good. Glad you didn\'t, keep going with this.