rate_review Reviews

Love this fic, and anyone of your 'Sword of Action'-universe fics. Much like the last scene with Vegeta yelling at poor Trunks, LOL.

lol. Loved it. Especially the last part. Poor Vegeta..maybe he should borrow Trunks' sword...great fic.

nice man

Mmmm, yummy. Loved this one also. It\'s very hot. Great imagery.

::ultra blush::

::squeals::

.......so nasty! ^^

Blu

Heh, this was every bit as good as I dared to expect. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depends on one\'s point of view, I guess) I didn\'t read the first version of this so I can\'t comment on the better or not factor but I can definitely say that your style has improved from \"Sword of Action\". I liked that very much, too, but this one is definitely a winner. The build-up is absolutely great, moving from a nice morning moment to a delicious display of kinkiness. It was very well written, the text had a good flow to it and was enjoyable to read but what I liked most was the fact that it managed to give off the feeling a true prequel, giving all the right details naturally so that it didn\'t bother me that I knew beforehand how this one basically went. Cheers.

I liked it, apart from the fact that he needed lubricant to masturbate... sounds like something is wrong there. I think it would have been better if you left that out, as it makes the scene unrealistic and quite disturbing, which was not needed and only seems to spoil it - for me at least. However, it is well written, despite this. I enjoyed the humour that you included, and it gave a good edge to what you were trying to achieve.

It was pretty good but i agree with ur self there was something missing. But I don\'t know what it was. . . maybe more climax or somethin\' like intensity. Who knows u will have lots more time to write more at least!
*Peace*Love*Happiness* Lots of luck and sexxxy yaoi kisses!