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by DrawFire

person studio, being much too lazy to actually sign in
schedule July 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That was really well written. I am SO a fan of yours. I didn\'t find much when it comes to mistakes however.... I did find one little bit that was a bit confusing.

What you wrote >>>> \"Tala and Kai were currently out with Lee and Ray and Gary and Mariah were in China still.\"

What should be done to fix it >>>> \"Tala and Kai were currently out with Lee and Ray [insert comma] and Gary and Mariah were in China still.\"

The end result >>>> \"Tala and Kai were currently out with Lee and Ray, and Gary and Mariah were in China still.\"


It\'s just a bit of an awkward sentence because of all the names and the \'and\'s, so by putting a little pause in it helps to clear up any confusion.

Apart from that though, this was absolutely perfect! *Clapclapclap!*

~studio~

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