rate_review Reviews

Seems my "mea culpa" review got zapped by the d/b glitch, so once again, please accept my bowing and scraping...

This review is for the Ed/Winry chapter.

I'm thinking that two people can't be quite the same with each other after sex as they were before. Something similar to what Billy Crystal said in "Sleepless in Seattle"... that the sex changes things, or some such...

That you had them react to each other pretty much the same way (the whole one-upsmanship thing they do with each other) after the sex as before makes one give pause (except you had an exquisite passage of their contemplative silence before - if you had more of that "after", then perhaps you would have achieved the result you desired?).

Also, it's not clear what Winry expects from him after. You had Ed admit that she was one of his best friends. Is she expecting things to stay the same as before? Or is there a bit of hope in her heart for something more? You worked so hard to make this NOT a pwp that I was expecting something along those lines near the end. She took his virginity but she also gave him her own. I didn't think girls (even Winry) were that flippant after such a monumental life-event.

Having said all that, this was wonderfully written, with all the frustration and anxiety we'd expect from those two. I still like this and it's on my "recommended reading" list. And her reaction to having him trace her belly with the oiled finger is worth the price of admission alone!

Will check out your R&R chap next...

Ciao!

W.

Wow, um...you know, I thought the WinEd was DAMN fine, myself. *_* It was a sweet portrayl of the First Time, and it was so...wah, strangely sweet. I didn't even mind them coming at the same time - you did a great job of showing their urgency and so on, and I loved how it wasn't just Winry getting ravished, which would seem very silly. She's a bold girl, and smart - she'd definitely figure things out :)

Yay! A chapter well worth waiting for ;) I thought you wrote it very well. It wasn't too technical as you may think. For some reason, at the end of the second chapter, I thought Ed would be a lot more demanding and Winry be more submissive... but the way you worked it out was great :) I can definately see Ed and Winry arguing during sex, LOL. It's just natural for them! Can't wait for your epilogue and for more of your Ed/Winry stories! I love 'em! XD

Okay, the fic was good in general, but there was a bit of a problem with the sex scene, the problem being that it is, in fact, physically impossible to scream during orgasm, check this out, when an orgasm occurs, the body is using a shitload of energy(and I mean a SHITLOAD, in fact, sex is an excellent excersize, lol), so to compensate it desperately pulls in more air then it breathes out, so you would be unable to force out the air needed in order to scream.

Cool, I got a mention. I feel special! ^_^ Yay smutty goodness! This was extremely awesome and was well worth the wait, I asure you! You combinded humor and smut so well it was extremely enjoyable to read. I thought them arguing even during such an intimate encounter was a nice touch. It was so... THEM. And I could totally see them actually doing that. It was also hysterical to hear Ed sound like a health teenage male. Another nice touch because even if he\'s Ed, he\'s still a hormone-hyped teen. Most people would say this was OOC, and maybe it was a tad, but it was pretty realistic and I liked that. Great job and I hope you write more Ed/Winry lemons in the near furture! I\'ll look forward to that and you can bet I\'ll read \'em! Awesome story!! ^_^

Sexy, Hysterical, Yay. I usually don\'t go for EdWin, but something told me to check this out. Glad I did - imagining Hawkeye fire at Havoc and Roy\'s crotch made my day!! XD

Y..you didn\'t Like your lemon?! But that was a GREAT lemon!!!! And maybe not getting turned on by your own lemon is okay, because if you did, you wouldn\'t be able to write it. You would be distracted. And it wouldn\'t be as good. So therefore THIS is a good lemon. Really good. Trust me.

man.... i would say.. that was the longest GD lemon ive ever read. but it was good nonetheless. KK! WELL!!! YEAH! too bad its over -pouts-

ha ha ha, oh my god. that was awesome. very hot. I need a shower !

OMGILSHIGGA!!! (OhMyGoddessI\'mLaughingSoHardI\'mGonnaGetArrested!!!)

I hope that you do a third chapter!

EIRICHICK (-.-)=~
aka
PIKACHU GODDESS (o\';\'o)