rate_review Reviews

Kakarott has quite a delimma! The Prince wants him...as a mate! Damaro wants him dead! And the King wants him...?

Turns out Veliro was the smartest and wisest of them all... ironic that.

But Kakarott has a big heart... and Damaro was family for a long time... I understand his loyalty... misguided though it may be...but that's Kakarott...his loyalty will jeopardize him... compromise his life... get him in trouble... again!

Maybe mating the Prince will both help and heal him... one can only hope...

Hmm... wonder what the king is up to? Is he really gonna stand for this...? Somehow I just don't see daddy dearest letting go of his boy so willingly...

well damn...*blinks*...why is it your chapters always seem so short and I'm left staring at the freaking scroll bar wondering where the rest is? I'm glad Vegeta didn't just let Kakarrot wander off, I'd have been pissed. *snerks*

a couple things; you have some tenses confusion in that some places use present tense while most of it has past tense. present tense should always be used in first-person perspective, past tense in third person perspective. also, a small thing, but contractions should not be used in narrative, only in speech. when narrating always use both words "He was" instead of "He's". hope that made sense, if not feel free to email me, it's in my profile.

now hurry up with the next chapter already!

And you've hooked me again!

Ha! Fisherman Charyon! Once again I am hooked!

Oh this is SUCH a good tale it started out slowly for me and I even got a bit bored around chapter five and went on a little break but then i came back and oooo! Sooo good! So good! I congratulate you again and again!

Well, it is a very sad way for Kakarott and Vegeta to get back together. I do understand why Kakarott had to go and see Damro (sp?) but I am sad it ended the way it did.

I am dreading to see how the loose end of Veliro gets fixed, adjusted, addressed.

Update soon!

CHAPTER 10:

It appears our prince chose an inopportune time to show Kakarott his true feelings....but he did give Kakarott something to think about.

Veliro...ugh!

Hmm... King Vegeta seems to have really contemplated this issue...is he salivating? Has a seed been planted? Does King Vegeta want to know what the fuss is all about? Or does he just want Kakarott dead?

Damaro? Damaro! How many suitors ~potential or otherwise~ does Kakarott have? The Prince will definitely have his work cut out for him when he recovers!

CHAPTER 11:

The Prince is very fortunate... had it not been for that explosion...would he even have Kakarott? Damaro did the Prince a favor.

Apparently King Vegeta is still doubting his son's sanity, but that was very clever of him... making Kakarott nurse Prince Vegeta back to health... his way of saying: see what you've done to my son, third-class? And wasn't that sweet of Veliro... showing him what to do...NOT!

So the rebel has come to his senses... he has finally acknowledged his feelings... did he stay out of guilt? or want? Whatever the reason, something between them has changed...

What was he thinking?! Going into the dungeon to see his ex-lover...! What is he, crazy?! Just how delusional is Kakarott?! He's lucky Damaro didn't rape him for old times sake while he was in the process of killing him... damn lucky that one!

That's right Prince Vegeta! Kill the bastard when you're better! Kill all the competion...

this was very, very good! thank you for yet another great chapter!

wow i can see why damaro mad

I'm glad things are reconciled to some degree.

Kakarott must have naive to think Damaro would react any other way.

I'm sure the king will hear of Kakarott's visit to Damaro, and put the pieces together.

Great job! Looking forward to more.

you've writen a best seller here I think, if you were selling this, that is...anyways...this piece is wonderfuly inventive wonderfuly writen and if you don't keep up the good work, I swear I'll go insane!

You've finally got the repetition under control, mostly, there are still some parts that you repeat, but it isn't bad at all and where you DID repeat info, its artistic. GOOD TO GO! You get a gold star!