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December 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Well...no one has reviewed it, so I am!
I like it, everyone is in character and everything, or if they fall out you state it. It's not OOC and the plot is interesting.
Only thing I'm curious about is that Duo's hurt ribs, you said in Chapter Two that it had grown in size or whatever, but after that there's no mention and Duo's fine. Did I miss something there or something?
Also, there's a couple grammatical errors, but nothing big.
Keep it up and hope to see the next chapter soon!
I like it, everyone is in character and everything, or if they fall out you state it. It's not OOC and the plot is interesting.
Only thing I'm curious about is that Duo's hurt ribs, you said in Chapter Two that it had grown in size or whatever, but after that there's no mention and Duo's fine. Did I miss something there or something?
Also, there's a couple grammatical errors, but nothing big.
Keep it up and hope to see the next chapter soon!