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January 7, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I loved this chapter!
Though I felt that it was a little rude of Al to get Ed to make that promise..
We all know how literal Ed is, and he might complete the promise by welcoming the first person to be interested in him, even if its against his instincts!!
And we all know how Roy can be perverted, when his mind is put to the task!! *cries* ^^lol
I can't wait till the next chapter!!!!
Though I felt that it was a little rude of Al to get Ed to make that promise..
We all know how literal Ed is, and he might complete the promise by welcoming the first person to be interested in him, even if its against his instincts!!
And we all know how Roy can be perverted, when his mind is put to the task!! *cries* ^^lol
I can't wait till the next chapter!!!!
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January 7, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Boo no Roy. But it is alright, The chapter was sad and so sweet. I love Al saying he would cry for Ed's behalf. OMG! I was sniffling. So cute of him and loving of him. Loved it. I enjoy your story alot. Please update soon. I can't wait for Roy to step in the picture. Keep it up. =3
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January 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Oh boy...
Here we go.
Al dodged the pillow and frowned, "I know that bad things happened to you..." he began, but Ed cut him off.
"No, you don't!" he yelled, "You don't know because you were the one that was raped!"
Al was the one that was raped? Don't you mean "weren't" the one that was raped?Even if you did mean 'weren't' in stead of were, it still wouldn't make sense. Ed is responding to Al as if he had said "I know how you feel". If you read it to yourself, you'll see that it sounds really weird and confusing.
Winry nodded, in understanding, and turned to Jeff, "Al is 10, and his brother, Ed, is 11."
"Only a year apart, that's perfect."
After being informed that Ed and Al were the only twin boys they currently had, Jeff left.
You can't be a year apart, and be twins. That would be a really fucked up pregnancy. Might want to change that.
Here we go.
Al dodged the pillow and frowned, "I know that bad things happened to you..." he began, but Ed cut him off.
"No, you don't!" he yelled, "You don't know because you were the one that was raped!"
Al was the one that was raped? Don't you mean "weren't" the one that was raped?Even if you did mean 'weren't' in stead of were, it still wouldn't make sense. Ed is responding to Al as if he had said "I know how you feel". If you read it to yourself, you'll see that it sounds really weird and confusing.
Winry nodded, in understanding, and turned to Jeff, "Al is 10, and his brother, Ed, is 11."
"Only a year apart, that's perfect."
After being informed that Ed and Al were the only twin boys they currently had, Jeff left.
You can't be a year apart, and be twins. That would be a really fucked up pregnancy. Might want to change that.
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January 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This is really enjoyable so far. I can't wait for the next chappy! Update soon!
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January 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
*sniffles* Oh no! It didn't really happen did it? Poor Ed! And that Jeff was evil! EEEEEEVVVVILLLLLL!!!!!!! I suppose you could say I'm hooked, but if you /do/ think of slacking off, I'll cry, I swear!! ^^lol
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January 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
T_T *Sniffles* Poor Ed! And Al but especially Ed!! Anyways i didn't like that jeff gu either he was creepy. I like your story alot it is lovely. Great job. Update soon. ^^
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January 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Got my attention and i am so into it now!! Update soon cause i would love to know how it shall turn out. ^^
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January 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Love your story!! Please update!! I really want to find out what hapepens to them! Thank You^_^