rate_review Reviews

And.... I'm back

So I just finished chapter 3. The idea of goku going to a psychaiatrist seems ridiculous. I mean the stories goku must tell that poor man! I think he may need medication to deal with it himself, you think? However, everything Goku said to him is true in a sense.
Trunks disturbs me, you see I'm around babies and toddlers alot so I know how they act. When I compare them to Trunks. I have to shudder and that right there is talent. To make a person physically shudder where the sit as they read your words... yes that is talent.

How sad is it that I look foreward to other installments just to shudder and read what you have for me next?

Well, since I’m already known for leaving long reviews, who am I to disappoint? I’ll be reviewing this one in the same way that I did the last chapter as I had much more fun that way. On with the show!

“...the inferior creation instinctually acknowledging the presence of something higher on the food chain.”

LOL. I think I’ve seen that look actually. Of course, that was my brother and he KNOWS he’s below me on the food chain.

“‘Vegeta is gone, Vegeta is gone’ and FREE yourself of him."

That’s right Dorothy. Just click your heels three times and you’ll be back at home in time for supper...

“The world thanked me soully...”

I think you meant solely...

“It was all the superiority proof the humans had ever needed and in their detachment from God, they replaced his image with a fleshly dealer of justice: me.”

So Goku’s the new religion huh? The new fad shall we say? Poor Goku...

“While jerking off in front of your TV?”

Oh Goku, have we no self control at all? In front of the TV...

“It hadn’t been easy and by the twentieth session, the doctor had become frustrated with me, urging me to tell him the truth of what happened. And when I did, countless sessions later, he still cringes when preparing himself for the morally-deprived situations that lie ahead.”

You know Doc, maybe sometimes you should just let things go huh?

“He remained silent, watching my every move with the careful eyes of a doctor who has witnessed one too many psychopaths flip out in his presence.”

This isn’t making me regret my decision to become a psychiatrist. Nope, not at all... *sweatdrops*

“The human fascination with the grotesque.”

Doesn’t that explain why we’re reading this story also? We just can’t help ourselves really.

“Or maybe, more probably, I miss myself. Feelings -good or bad- made me alive and now? I am as numb and cold as ever.”

For some reason, Goku reminds me of Louis from The Vampire Chronicles. Just that utter sense of hate and love mixed with the numbing pain. Louis described Lestat much the same way that Goku describes “Vegeta.”

"You know you're crazy," Vegeta had said to me two days before, as he lay next to me, rolling his eyes at my predicament.”

Hmmm... not a dream, but not really a vision either. I think the word hallucination works though.

“I was the copper snake that walked amongst them and within me, they put their every trust.”

Wow, I never heard that story before. I’m not really sure it’s wise to put all of their faith and trust into one person though. I shudder at the thought.

“And again, I was isolated because I was the only one that had witnessed them.”

Okay, now that was a vision... not to mention freaky as Hell.

“Now I gotta tell you, I’ve seen some beautiful women in my time cheat, but somehow, I just never pegged Briefs for a slip-n-slide you know what I mean?”

Disgusting. Narrow-minded. The kind of thing I would never expect to be in here, which is why I’m so glad that it is.

“I could feel myself crushing through thin layers of flimsy material, fucking that hideous hunk of gangrene filth.”

I don’t know why, but I never pictured Goku one for necrophilia. Oh, and as usual at least one time per chapter, eeewwwwwwww...

“In one way or another, she knew.”

That’s got to suck so much, knowing that it’s “sin” and not even being able to even talk about it. I wonder if/how Bulma sleeps at night?

“A man wearing the skin of four of his family members, walking around with his wife's legs loosely heat-duct taped around his own.”

*raises one eyebrow* Well, it IS creative of him...

“I watched with fascination as he lodged scalpels and knives into their wombs, forcing open their uterus's and ripping out babies, aborted by unknown mothers.”
“Who knew sticking an unborn fetus in an envelope or box could cause such desperation?”

Okay, now I understand why Goku doesn’t get much sleep. Maybe it’s just because I’m female, but God that’s just wrong. My mouth was hanging open in horror and everything. I do admire you for writing it though.

“...the doctor frantically telling her to push when she had just stared, glossy eyed and in horror as the baby clawed its way through her uterus and into the outside world.”

*shudder* Eeeewwwww...

“I wasn't needed anymore, they seemed to say. I'd fulfilled my purpose and had no place in this.”

Ouch, that’s harsh. True, in a really cruel sort of way, but harsh.

“I seen it in my head.”

Ahhh... so Goku isn’t the only one who sees “sin” in his head. I wondered if Trunks did or not.

“'Please God,' I pleaded silently, my eyes darting over various other pictures, 'let me be crazy.'“

Have you ever had that feeling? The one where something so surreal is happening that you pray you’re insane rather than it being real? I HATE that feeling. The sad thing is, you already know you’re not insane, because if you were you wouldn’t be wishing it.

“A pizza cutter.” He said without looking up.”

So Trunks sees things that “sin” did before he was even born? Just when I was thinking that he couldn’t get any freakier...

“No.” He shook his head, voice harsh. “No, you don’t love me like he does.”

Uh oh. Not that it’s not true, but I think I see a future conflict arising here.

Well, that’s that. This chapter disturbed me, intruiged me, and just all around kicked ass. I can’t wait to see where this sequel is going. Really, the suspense is half the fun, but I hate waiting. Fascinating really, how much I look forward to these updates despite the gruesome nature of the fic. Then again, no one ever said I was normal, for which I’m extremely proud. As always, I can’t wait to read more!

mmmmm...........I had been passing Monster by for ages and ages and ages. Finally fell. anyways, it was bloody brilliant, and I am very glad you are continuing it. Your writing is brilliant. A delightfully pessimistic look upon humanity, but not without a faint light. Its beautiful, but ugly as, well, sin, and thought-provoking for that. You have a great talent that I must say damn near justifies your occasionally off-putting arrogance in your authors notes. I respect both your stories, and your arrogance, since you have the skill and guts to back yourself up. I absolutely look forward to more of this.

I'm excited....this is awesome. I love it. Yes.

Wow...yes Goku is TRUELY obsessed. @.@ Hiring a P.I. to find your dead lover's body. Well, we all know in this case Goku has every right to be concerned about whether or not his lover has returned. The question is, if he has returned, why? I think Goku may be in for some serious trouble if he thinks Satan/Vegeta is doing this 'all for him'.

Goku is in a serious bind here. Yes, he can save people, but who is going to save him? Not the doctor that is afraid of him. Not the wife he can't talk to about anything. Certainly not Trunks...and not his gone over the edge son, Gohan. Yeah, that doesn't leave him much in the way of recourse.


Trunks really creeps me out.

I am so glad that you picked this story back up!! And I have to say that this chapter is just awesome. I really do love your stories; they’re absolutely fascinating to read. Well, while going through the story I decided to write down comments as they came to me, and that’s what I’m going to post here. It’s filled with quotes too. That way I’m giving you an accurate account of my opinion of the chapter as I read it for the first time:



And so the obsession continues... Goku still can’t seem to cast the monster out of his mind. I wonder if Bulma knows and how she feels about this? After all, she was captivated by the Devil too.

“Is that why I couldn’t orgasm or even get off on my wife unless I pretended she was him? If so, then let the records show, love sucks. Seriously.”

Ouch. Now, if that doesn’t hurt a woman’s ego...

“Besides, he knew what I had done with Vegeta. I fucked the devil! Not exactly some brilliantly hidden secret!”

*Snicker* No, I don’t imagine it would be... Still, wouldn’t have thought that of Yamucha (Yamcha? Not too sure on the spelling). *raises one eyebrow*

“She’d know who I was thinking about the entire time, as I figured she probably did even now.”

Well, that answers the first part of my question about Bulma.

“Except, it was only his memory now and that couldn’t fill the void; the emptiness dwelling inside where I guess he’d been before.”

You know, I was reading this part when a random thought popped up in my head. I wonder what the real Vegeta thinks of all this? I mean, Goku’s essentially “in love” with his body, at the very least. I can imagine the cursing now...

“We could no longer take everything for grantite...”

I think you meant granted...

“I had married Bulma only months after the fall, both of us seeing the peace as a promise from God that this was justifiable, that it was right. But I guess we both knew it wasn't. We didn't love each other, not exclusively.”

Okay, I think that answered all of my questions about Bulma.

“Was it easier for me to simply say he didn't love? Was that the quick fix?”

Probably. Humans are suckers for that quick fix. It’s how we end up thousands of dollars in credit card debt :P

“...realizing that the moment I impaled him, I stood beyond myself and the situation entirely, a being finally understanding that I'd killed the one person I'd ever truly been in love with.”

Awww... poor Goku.

“A simple world. A jaded world for sure. But a world a far-stretch better than ours.”

LOL. Gohan’s world sounds familiar somehow... :) I love how you incorporated that into your story.

“Was it so horrible for him, I had to wonder within myself, to see the epitome of his fantasies as a flawed, fallen hero?”

To paraphrase Grace from “Will & Grace”: Everyone has that time when they realize that their parent(s) is/are human.

fotten = fought

“Trunks' cruelty and simple fascination with death were solidified in his earlier years.”

Ahh... so we find out that Trunks seems to take after his father in behavior as well. Assuming, of course, that his father is “Vegeta.”

"He's just a child expressing himself," she would insist.”

Mothers will insist anything about their children to protect themselves, not that she isn’t protecting Trunks also, but she’s trying to protect her sense of normalcy as well. After all, it’s been threatened a lot in the past. BTW, ewwwwwwwwww...

“But indeed, as I gazed around the world that remained after the wreckage, weren't we all just manifestations of Sin?”

Indeed. An excellent way to end this chapter, not that I was expecting anything else. Sorry this review is so long, and if you prefer them shorter, just let me know. Like I said at the beginning, I only wrote down my thoughts as I read through this chapter. Can’t wait for the next one!! I hope we get back to the part where Goku knows that the Devil is back, or we could see more of “Vegeta” after he woke up. I’m sure that’ll be a treat :) As always, loved your work!!

AHHH!!! You wrote a new chapter! Fucking HALLELUYAH!!!! I starting to suffer because I have the first chapter memorized. I guess I'm gonna have to start quickly on BOS...remember...you gotta read along. Even though you've already read the whole damn thing. Who knows...you might find something new...

In other words...REVIEW!!!! AHAHAHAHA! Since I'm done begging now, onto the meat of my review. ^_^

I fell for a monster a long time ago; a monster with the face of an angel; a devil that brought out the demon in me and made me love every single moment of it.

Isn't it funny how someone can introduce you to a dark sideof your personality and it just feels so fucking good? Who's that person for you? I have a few of them in my life. Like for instance, the first person who introduced me to dark fiction writing...*cough cough* And the first person who convinced me that Yaoi is really...actually...really fucking hot. And I was such a bad girl each time...and I fuckin' loved it. We indulge in the darker sides of our personality as if though it's our own personal, sinful, chocolate cake, and we wallow in the pleasure that it brings to our body. So why is it so evil to be bad? Because it feels good? Why do the right things have to be hard and hurt us? Are we sure that right isn't wrong, and wrong isn't right?

Good times, bad times; all wrapped up in the same instance.

The angel from my nightmares, the devil in my dreams.

He used to beat me senseless. Bloody. I was terrified of him. I hated him. But I loved him too. God, he was such a bastard, but I would have taken anything for that man just to hear him whisper those words in my ear as we fucked. He was definitely my devil...and yet, in my nightmares of pain, he was my angel. I think the scariest part of recovering was understanding that part of me actually liked the pain...craved the fear...just because of the strength he had to turn around and be an angel to me. He was my pain and my salvation. God I hated him. I still do. But I still love him. It's all a blur now. I know I was meant for better. It's amazing how we, as humans, seem to blur the line between beautiful and ugly as long as we don't have to look at the face.

When does light shine the brightest except when a contradiction to the darkness? I needed the bad in him to solidify the good in me.

The darkness cannot be ANYTHING without the light, and without the shadow, light would have no meaning. Enemies could not be so if they had no heroes to fight against. They have to have each other to define each other. Perhaps that's what Goku is trying to say. That without Vegeta, there is meaning for him. Lost...with no potential. God... what a hell on earth.

But indeed, as I gazed around the world that remained after the wreckage, weren't we all just manifestations of Sin?

Oh my God....Is Trunks really Goku's son? Sounds like he'd be more of Vegeta's son at this point. Is it possible that humans were made for sin? That we were born in it and intended to indulge in it for our own, stupid, selfish purposes? What if that is our destiny? Oh listen to my rhetorical questions. Maybe we ARE a product of Sin. A people divided by war and destroyed by anger and rage. A people that ignores rape and drugs on the street and fathers and mothers molesting their beautiful, innocent children and smiling over their trembling bodies.

If we are Sin, then there is no hope.

How could I forget how this chapter started out? O.O...but I did. Puts a VERY interesting spin on things. I'll have to keep it in mind for future chapters.


Trunks gives me the creeps. Bulma isn't so much a genious if she is willing to over look those things. She's just your average 'mom' here.

I am glad they have Gohan on some fairly good drugs. I don't want to know what he would do if he didn't believe in his DBZ world he is always telling Goku about.

Goku....ouch. There is so much going on there. Too much. I am not so surprised the chapter starts out the way it does with all of those chaotic/emotional thoughts/feelings going around & around & around & around in his head. Would put anyone in a looney bin.


Yamcha?! Yeah, Goku is desperate if he is even flirting with that waste of flesh.




Excellent chapter Camaro. :) Good to see the update here.

O.O!!! Camaro, you never seice to amaze me. And truly i have to wonder where you come up with this stuff sometimes, because truly it is amazing and i can see why people send you so much betaing shit, because you truly are a master peice. XD And your work is too. And i still say you should replace the names a make a book lol.

-Love
Lauren

That was intense.