rate_review Reviews

Damn, very nice story. Little Goten got some, way to go little bro.

the story line was good but it could use more detale

Ha, this is awesome. Poor little Goten!


I dunno if you intended this, but pines = penis.

good

good idea, good writing, mabey alittle longer

The spelling is simply ATROCIOUS! Oh my... I couldn't even comprehend what some of the word were supposed to be. Is 'pines' supposed to be 'penis'? Um, and I think you either made up some of the words youself or you're just terrible at spelling. It was a good idea for a fic and not so bad in other areas except speech. Sometimes I don't know who is saying what and it frustrated me so I stopped in the middle of it. I couldn't go on knowing that the mistakes were in such annoyingly large quantities. Please fix this and attempt to post is back up.

WTF? i thought this story got taken off! humm i wrote this story a whiel ago and posted it but soon after it was gone and my profile had been deleted. I think it was becouse i didnt do a prober disclaimer, if u note now its got a new disclaier written in.

well anyway i cant update it as i was planning (the person that is angry at the end is Gohan when he comes home eirly from the camping trip, wich lead to all kind of things lol)

But i cant continue becouse my profile was deleated, it wont let me log in.

anyway thanks for reading, sorry about spelling im not very good at that, im glad you all liked it though i must say i wasnt very impresed myself, it was late at night and the idea just poped in my head.

hi, i would like to read your story but for some reason it does not show up on the screen. if you have it could you tell me where to find it? thx

ei wassup? why isn't this story up he like the ideia plz fix the story

Contact the admins so I can read this fic!