rate_review Reviews

Interesting turn of things. I wonder what Quatre and Heero will do next. Update soon please!

Well, thank you for the personal message. But don't you think that it would be good to actually listen to what people say? From your message I assumed that maybe I wasn't the only one. And what I wrote to you as an advice was not a "hate" thing - I showed you what to change, it's the same as if you had a beta... But you don't listen, that's ok. Won't push. Just wanted to say that the idea was good, and it would be a shame if it was wasted.
Again, the grammar and spelling - at least use Microsoft Office Word - it usually shows the misspelled words *btw not 'aloud', but 'allowed'.
As for my writing - a very good answer - I don't do thing that I know I'm not good at. That's why if you want to complain you can go to my LJ *shevaleon.livejournal.com*, where you can say all you like about my drawings. Maybe smb at last would tell me what they REALLY think as I love criticism - it makes my works better. :p
Huggles

This seems better, but not much.... Can you get a Beta? maybe this person will help you. And as I've already said write in Past tense. You keep skipping and it's bad for interpreting the lines.... AND when you have a compound sentence - break it. Make it simpler and easy to read, thus you won't miss all the commas.
The plot... the 'spell' thing was too much. Write a warning somewhere that this is an AU story. And some ‘Heero thinking’ would be nice, too, - at least we would know his motivation. Some agony would be good for him, too.
And lastly, try to work more on the feelings. Not just write in words what the charas feel, but show it with their actions.
Update soon,
Huggles

Ok, why exactly did you delete my review?

This is a really good story. I love the master/slave relationship. I can't wait to read more. Please update soon and keep up the good work.

Keep going!!!!!!!!!! I like it a LOT!!!!!!! Keep it up, I'm dieing for the next chapter!!!!!!!!!!!