rate_review Reviews

Please, please, oh please update. Its absolutley killing me. I loved Chapter 14 but it leaves me wanting more, AGAIN!

Poor Ed - so upset and confused, and sending out such mixed messages to poor Roy. Even a kiss wasn't enough to convince them that the other guy was attracted to him. I hope they escape from the hellhole soon, so they can fix this.

I liked the final scene with Al and Ed at the end. Al's angry, but he still chose to do the right thing for Ed rather than act on his anger. Very nice.

YAY!! I'm so happy you updated!! :) I had been wondering how Roy and Ed were gonna escape from that little room. It's a thousand wonders that they weren't badly hurt when they fell down that shaft!! It would just be Ed's luck, especially with the way everything else has been going for him, if he broke a bone in that fall. I was so happy that Ed finally had one thing go his way! Roy and Ed had their first kiss! SQWEE! *happy dances* They are SO close to admitting their feelings for one another! "There's something about you..." Say it, Roy, say it!! The little flutters they both keep getting are adorable! :) Please Roy! Give Ed a chance!! If only Roy hadn't called him shorty! LOL!! That was great!! Even after all that's happened to him he's still got the energy to want to pummel Roy for making a short joke! :)

I am totally intrigued by that clue you threw out there from Roy's grandfather!! Roy will bring strangers with him when he visits his grandfather, one of whom will be in need of their medicine, and then he will be freed of his daemons! What a tantalizing tidbit of information you've thrown out there for me think about!! You've certainly piqued this kitty's curiosity! :D

I'm so glad that everyone is reunited now! I was shocked that Al clobbered Ed like that! WTH?? He should know that Ed had to submit to that bastard sonofabitch Seniore to save their lives! Ed's already sacrificed an arm for his brother so what should a little pride and dignity matter? Ed was even willing to bear the full brunt of Al's wrath if it made Al happy again. That's just the way Ed is. I was SO relieved that Al chose to hug Ed instead of beat him up! :) Now they just need to hurry up and escape from this God-awful place before that disgusting Seniore finds them! He saw them go in that room and now the asshole is just waiting to show up and ruin my happy mood!!! RRRGH!! You have no idea how much I hate this guy!!!!! Please make me happy and have him die a truly grisly painful death soon! The chances of this waste of space meeting his end have increased now that he's after Ed all by himself! I don't care if Ed, Al, Roy, or all of them together take out this filth as long as he's gone from the face of the Earth as soon as possible! Oh, and just so you know, I still don't like Noa or Isabella. Don't know why but they both get on my nerves. Oh well...
Update soon!
Koneko =^.^=

Yay! I'm so glad you updated this. I've been meaning to send in a review, but my computer didn't like it, so I couldn't. I do hope you update soon, I really really do. I <3 this story.

I love this story , I loved it when I first found it on FF and I still love it. PLEASE update *sigh* this one is so different and all the work you put into research just boggles my brain. I love the history lessons with the great story. It is just so good, and smooth .
*blush* do you have this on L J then I could add it to the memories not have to remember that it is saved on FFN I have it save there just have been spending less time there. Just wondering?
Anyway's PLEASE update nudge those bunnies.

I really like what you've done by taking the story beyond the movie. The plot is really interesting, Ed and Al are believably older, and this world's Roy is just a little different from the Amestris Roy. I'm dying to know how you get them all out of this, and for either Ed or Roy to make a move on the other, soon!

o.o I'm wondering why you didn't put this in FF.net, it's not THAT perverted... unless you decide to write a lemon at some point... (shrugs) Gimme an email for the next chapter! This is actually really good!

*grins* I think this is your best chapter yet! :D There's so much going on! I love it! The best part was when Ed opened the door as a group of soldiers just happened to be going by! :) One of those out of the frying pan and into the fire moments! ;) Oh, by the way, it was totally adorable the way Ed was trying to ask if Roy had a girl! cuuute!! :D I died laughing when Ed found the "dead" guy in the bathroom!! XD Roy and Ed are just so perfect together!! *sqwee!* :D You made my heart soar when Roy and Ed were sniping back and forth at each other while trying to block the door! :) Ed is finally IC again and the personalities (Ed's and Roy's) we all love and adore are in full swing! Ah! All is right with the world again! *giggle*

I can't say as I think too much of the infiltration team Roy is assigned to. The mission has been going on for several hours now and they've made no progress in finding Ed or Roy nor have they done anything to stop the Germans. Instead of doing their job they're just sitting around doing nothing. So much for causing confusion and rescuing Ed! What a bunch of bunglers! :) What's up with the big bear hug thing? uh, random. :)

It was a really bad idea for Al to leave that gun on the table like that. Whether or not Noa could use the damn thing is irrelevant. Al could have given that gun to Ed when he found him. Bad bad idea to leave anything useful behind in a situation like this! How exactly is a five year old supposed to use a pocket knife anyway? Where did he even get a pocket knife? from the guard? from Schreck maybe? Speaking of Schreck, he and that bitch Lady Rose were so annoying that I wished Al had lobbed a grenade (or the ever elusive uranium bomb! :D) in on 'em. ugh. I can't stand this Rose cow! :P

As usual, your villians are disgustingly vile and thoroughly detestable! They're perfect!! Perfectly contemptible that is! :D So much so that I can't wait for nine kinds of hell to be unleashed on their asses when Roy, Ed, Al, and crew make their grand escape! w00t! That ammo dump Ed saw earlier will come in quite handy for total destruction! Not to mention that the inferno that will be created when the ammo goes up will destroy those nasty biological weapons Marcoh has! nice! :) It'll be a bonus if that infernal Seniore gets caught in the fire and suffers a slow excrutiating death the likes of which would make the devil himself wince! *evil grin*
Update soon! I GOTTA know how Roy and Ed are gonna get out of that room!!!! :D
Koneko =^.^=

If you don't update I'll scream. This is one of the best fanfics I've read in ages! AND I WANNA SEE MORE ROYXED!

HI! New reader here! Yay!! :D

First, I want to say that as much as I appreciate your honesty for stating that you don't update here much at aff for lack of reviews, it was rather disheartening to see that. Made me wonder if all the time I spent reading these 12 chapters was worth it if there's only a small chance of getting an update. Oh well, every story here is a gamble. There's no guarantee that any author will update regularly. *sad sigh*

Second, I want to apologize now for anything I might say next that might offend you or hurt your feelings in any way. That statement about lack of updates made me wonder about why you've not gotten a lot of reviews and I would like to share a few of my thoughts on the subject. Again, these are just my own personal opinions and impressions and do not represent your readers as a whole. This is by no means a flame because I don't want to discourage you because I'm dying to know how the story turns out in the end!!! :) I just want to point out some things that might help move this story along. Have you considered that the lack of response is because you write very long, VERY detailed chapters? Not everybody has the time or the patience to read really long, highly detailed chapters. It took me almost a week to get thru just 3 chapters. And about the details, is it really necessary to describe so completely all the colors the sky goes thru as the sun sets? Is it critical to know how dirty and disgusting the concentration camp Al, Macy, and Isabella were taken to? Did you have to tell me that when the old man was shot in the head that both brains and blood splattered all over the bed of the truck? How beneficial is it to know how nicely appointed the Console Generale's home is? There are many more examples but the point I'm trying to make here is that if a detail does not help the story progress or come into play later on in the story it doesn't need to be there. Details flesh out a story and make it come alive in the reader's mind but there comes a point where enough is enough. Too much detail is just boring.

Another possibility for few reviews are your OCs. What a hellacious group they are! @_@ Example 1 - Isabella. Why is she still in the story? What's her purpose - for now and for later on? Why didn't she stay in Italy with the Console Generale when she and Al were rescued? I find her to be quite irksome. Ed's personality completely changed after he met her. He was kinda OOC there for a while and, to some extent, still is. Equivalent exchange or not (and I don't follow Al's logic on that), she shoulda stayed her little tail in Italy. Example 2 - Nurse Valeria and Gino. Ugh. I could find little to no good in their very overstayed welcome - especially Valeria. An-noy-ing!! She drove me absolutely crazy and I was so glad when she was gone! Example 3 (and this is the big one!) - the Seniore. UGH!! Could you have made a more disgusting character?!?! This guy alone has to be the primary reason few people review!! He's so vulgar and vile that he has to be driving readers away by the boat load!! Damn! He almost raped Ed right there in front of God and witnesses no less!!! GAH!! Who wants to read a story with such a repugnant character in it?? ugh. The sooner you kill him off the better! Example 4 - Earl Thomas Asherton and Lady Rose. Pish, "Lady" my ass! A common streetwalker has better morals than she does! Her smarmy attitude is a complete turn off too. She's almost as disagreeable as the Seniore is and that's saying a lot! yucky! :P The Nazis she's working with however are nicely done and perfectly portray the vicious little vipers they're supposed to be. Maxton is one sick SOB.

Lastly, a few comments on the canon characters. poor Ed. It seems like he's getting beaten up at least once a chapter! :) I'm beginning to wonder if you've got a vendetta against him or something! LOL! Seriously tho, give the guy a break. If Ed wasn't so miserable all the time, maybe more people would be more receptive to your story. He's been punished enough. He deserves a little good luck after all the hell he's been thru so far (i.e. the Seniore). Hook him up with Roy already! It's been 12 chapters and all we, the readers, have so far is that one embrace in a tent in Egypt and a nice little fluffy moment in that underground facility's medical station. It's getting frustrating waiting for these two to finally have a chance to be together. Show us some love! :) I have nothing to say that could improve Al's character. He's very IC and very well written. Roy. also very well written. He just needs to accept that his is gay and then he and Ed can be together. A hard thing to do I know given the time and place but it's something that has to be done or he'll just drive himself insane by denying himself. How exactly did he produce that fire Ed saw when Roy rescued Ed on that veranda? That was no ordinary gun. What was that?? Noa. Why is she so timid and mousy? She clings to Al like a child. I never saw her as being this dependent on someone else. Dr Marcoh. Or should I say Dr Mengele? It's disturbing how excited he is conducting his horrific nightmarish experiments! Ed needs to get away from him ASAP before he ends up dissected! *shivers*

Again, I apologize if any of this came across as harsh. It wasn't intended to be. Please don't get discouraged and please don't stop writing this. The action has really picked up a lot in the last few chapters and I'm hoping it will continue! :)
Update soon! (please? Email me if possible. Thanks!)
Koneko =^.^=