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October 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hmm, interesting beginning!! And it would be VERY lovely if you could continue sooooon!
One bad thingie though: everything’s happening too fast, it really needs more description. Just consider rereading the chapter after you write it - some vital comas are missing. ^-^;
Other then that the ficie is really good~! And I really enjoy the Universe you're writing it in.
Please continue soon,
Huggles
P.S.: Zechsy!! How could you!!! And with Relena no less!!! *yuck*
One bad thingie though: everything’s happening too fast, it really needs more description. Just consider rereading the chapter after you write it - some vital comas are missing. ^-^;
Other then that the ficie is really good~! And I really enjoy the Universe you're writing it in.
Please continue soon,
Huggles
P.S.: Zechsy!! How could you!!! And with Relena no less!!! *yuck*