rate_review Reviews

This is amazing. I'll be honest, I thought it was just a gimmick at first, but as the story continued I became addicted to it. It's thrilling, it's heartbreaking, it's kept me up all night reading it, and the scariest part is that in a way it's true. I hate that I have to cut this review so short (thunder storm), I would love to write a whole essay on why I'm so proud that you wrote this. It was not what I expected, but it's amazing. I wish it was an original fic so that you could put it in public domain and show everyone.

I really have to go, but I wanted to thank you for writing this. I can tell that it meant a lot to you, means a lot to you, and I am so glad that you put it up here. Maybe it will break into the hearts of the unsuspecting. It certainly did for me.

thank you for this story, thank you for giving us a voice. no one's ever told me that it wasn't my fault before.

So... I read this whole thing today.
I have to say, it made me think a lot. I was never.. raped as a child or anything, but there were little things... that kind of made me weird inside. My experiences were a lot different than the ones described, but at the same time they weren't.
It's funny how one little episode of something like this can do so much to a person, how things add up and build up and manifest their effects in so many ways.
I guess it's comforting to know that my quirks aren't unique, and that this sort of thing affects people in some of the same ways.
Especially the bits about Ed feeling like he was different from the other kids, and that it didn't feel like it would be right to be normal.
I ended up with a couple of little girls that were my age, and we would do the same things together; kissing and touching and that sort of crap. Them not seeing me as strange kind of makes me wonder if they were abused too, or something like that. Birds of a feather, or whatever. We barely even knew we were different than most kids, when we were together. God, we didn't know what 'being gay' was when that was kind of what we were doing... I don't know.
It took me a long time to understand that I'm still okay. I still doubt I'll ever really have a normal, healthy relationship with anyone- especially any man, but I guess that's what good therapy's for.
Until I can afford that and feel...brave enough or whatever, I just take comfort in the little realizations like the one this story gave me. As strange as it sounds, it didn't make me feel depressed at all. I felt uplifted.
So, even if that wasn't the point... thank you.

Waaaaaahhhhh! thia is making me cry, its so sad, and when he shoots Mustang its so tense and dramtic. but on another note, Wooo Ed shoot that bastard shoot him dead, yay! revenge!!! now he needs love and cuddles which arent of a perverted nature.

You did very well in this chapter when you tried to leave out the physical descriptions. From the start, I knew that you were trying to make us focus on Ed's... *broken* state. There really is no other word for it... broken. So far, I think this is the chapter that hit me hardest. I know to well the horror being trapped in your own mind by fear, and not realizing what's going on in the world around you. Though my fear was not from any kind of abuse, it was still just as real.

I must say--you're a wonderful writer, and I'm very glad that I indulged in my random whim to see what your stories were like, after reading one dedicated to you. Though the subject of this particular story is so horrifying, you've brought us to it with tact. But in doing so, you still haven't taken away from the horror of it, which is truly amazing, and I thank you for it. Stories like this are hard to find, and I'm glad you stuck through it and kept writing--I know it must've been hard.

Keep up the amazing writing! Also, I'd like to be added to your mailing list, so I can be notified whenever you update a story, or add a new one. My e-mail address is katherinejweir@gmail.com.

Again, thank you so much for bringing this subject to us. I'm going to go read the rest now. I can't wait to see Riza's reaction at the end. (I'll submit another review when I'm done the whole story!)

Oh, my God... chapter 11 now, and... I can't believe that just happened. As the chapter says--"vicious cycle". That's just so sad, and I had a hard time holding my tears back for poor Ed. He's dealt with so much from Roy--and life in general--and now... *this*. Now he almost does it to Al, without even realizing it. You've got me wondering whether Ed will take his actions farther in the next chapters, and... maybe that's why he kills Roy. Because if it hadn't been for Roy abusing him, he never would've done it to his brother.

And my suspicions were along the track, if not completely right... Ed did it to protect Al. The raw emotion that came through when Ed had killed him, and right after when he was screaming for Al... that image is going to stick with me--I know it. You wrote it so perfectly... his shattered thoughts and frenzied reactions. I don't know what to say, other than it felt... real. I could see it, I could hear him screaming for Al. And it brought me to tears, like so many other things in this story did.

I'm so sorry to hear that you've had to deal with abuse in your life. But at the same time I'm also happy that you've been able to face it enough to write this and help so many other people with their lives. I've never had a story make me cry so much, but also make me feel happy--because I know you've given people hope.

This story really touched me. I was never abused sexually, but I was abused verbally, emotionally, and mentally to terrible extent, so some of the chapters where Roy was being so... so fucking verbally abusive to Ed were harder for me to read than the ones where Ed was physically assaulted. Those words... I've heard some of them much too many times in my life. I know all too well the pain that mere words can cause and... this has made me feel a little better about what I went through.

Again, I thank you wholeheartedly for writing this, and being brave enough to post it for us to read.

--Blysse

This may be odd, but for some reason I found chapter eight harder to read than seven. Maybe because of Al's ignorance and that Mustang is taking care of Ed, but puts the fault on Ed.
You're a very talented author for being able to write this story so well.
My email is ishrayning@yahoo.com

Wow, I am very thankful you wrote this fanfic. Though I consider myself lucky to have never been abused, it makes me not realize that it does happen. I once read a book called, "The Boy Called 'It'" and it had the same effect that this fic did on me. Although, this one felt a little more personal since I feel like I actually know the characters from Fullmetal Alchemist. It was a great thing to come across a fic that the author wrote in a public awareness effort. I'm proud of you, and I thank you for it, even if I have no personal reasons for my gratitude.

I will keep you in my prayers, as I hope, that if you already haven't, that you will completely heal of the wounds inflicted upon you.

P.S. I have a friend who has dealt with all three types of abuse from his mother ever since he was a young child, and now at a month short of 18 years, he still believes it is his fault. All this abuse has had an enormous impact on his life, self respect and everything. How do you think I should help him? He's much too poor for therapy, and his mother won't allow him to get a job, nor will she pay for any service for him. I've counseled him as a friend to the best of my ability for two years now, but I feel as if I'm not knowledgeable enough about the subject to do so much good. Can you think of any way I could help more?

Vicious Circle? I'll say! That chapter was terrifying! I can't even begin to articulate my thoughts about how I sympathize with the way Ed's psyche and involuntary actions are tearing him apart. GAHH *brain has short circuted*